Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Gay at Work - Travis

Just so you know, I worked very hard last night during our Facebook Live event.
As one of Chico's Angels, AKA detectives, I made sure to get evidence of our new hunk's hunkiness.
If you would like to catch Travis singing & dancing & shirtless live, get you tix for
CHICAS ARE 4EVER, soon! It's selling out!

Monday, August 14, 2017

Gay of A Certain Age - Bonked!

(Photo by Larry Gellar)

Well, let me tell you... this weekend was filled with plenty of rehearsal, a little socializing and a clubbing.  Yeah, I said clubbing because I felt like I had been bludgeoned about the head all day Sunday!  I arrived at Precinct at about 9:15

got ready and was dispensing compliments at the Compliments Dispensary by 10:00.  I had a great time handing out compliments and was surprised to find that people gave tips for that sort of thing!  Here is an example of one of my compliments:

I really enjoyed writing them and watching the expressions of the recipients, but had to be careful not to get too esoteric for the crowd; like when I wrote, "Ju are so nice, like Leona Helmsley en a coma."  Some of the kids don't know who that was. Anyway, the place is a blast and I enjoyed the other folks working around me, especially Rasputin's Marionettes!

Is it just me, or is that puppet ESEXY?
What is it about him?

I remember these marionettes from seeing the super neato Pretty Things Peep Show, brought to us by Matt Scott  and Go-Go Amy!

Selene Luna as Dr. Newman, selling her Trump Glory Hole Covers was a delightful treat!

Plus, the other girlz at the dispensary, Sarah Probblem and Love, Connie (the fabulous John Cantwell) were a joy!  We were gathered together by  Club King, Mario Diaz.

And there were some dancers...  They were nice.

Even the walls are fun (Thanks to Homo Riot in this case)

It was all a great time to be sure!  The music was much to my liking, a had one Angry Orchard hard apple cider (because it's gluten-free) and I got a chance to be creative!  I was home, out of make-up and in bed by 3:00ish AM.

Anyway, Sunday morning, I woke up at my usual time and went to have breakfast with muh DAB, Glenn.  Then, I forced myself to go buy new shoes (I'm the worst gay in that way... do any other gays have to FORCE themselves to go shoe shopping?) then went down for a nap.  I re-awoke and headed to rehearsal, feeling like I had been hit by a truck the entire time.  I must say my admiration for Mario and Jackie Beat multiplied when I realized that they had just done 3 performances of The Golden Girlz Live prior to arriving Saturday night and were already doing their first of 3 more performances Sunday as I was dragging myself to rehearsal.

As a Gay of A Certain Age; I'm amazed that Jackie had the energy to do all of that while I, just a year or two younger, was trying to figure out how to sneak naps into the brief minutes that I wasn't expected to be saying lines out loud during rehearsal!  

Here a big HUZZAH to Jackie, Mario and all the others who do shows and clubs at the same time- you amaze me!

Thank you, Mario, Go-Go Amy and Jackie!

Now please enjoy some pics of me enjoying BONKERZ!

If you're not exhausted
tune in tonight!

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Too Busy For Love - Diamond Crazy!

Holy, Margret!  Sorry I haven't posted in a bit!  I'd love to go to that neked pool party with you, but I'm too busy!!  Working full time and rehearsing for a show and keeping up social media and socializing is tough!

Along with working 4 Instagram accounts: Chico's Angels, Frieda Laye, Reba Areba and myself, I have to make sure our Facebook accounts are up to date, as well.  It takes up a lot of time posting, scrolling & liking other folks those accounts follow!

If i'm not looking at my phone or laptop, I'm staring at my script while rehearsing for CHICO'S ANGELS 4 CHICAS ARE FOVEVER.  Not only am I (kinda) learning lines, I'm learning steps!
It ain't easy!  

Don't think there's much down time, because instead of sitting back and enjoying the weekend, I'm going to added rehearsals and making appearances.  Like, this Saturday, I'll be working the night handing out pleasantries at the Compliments Booth at club BONKERZ! at Precinct in Downtown L.A.

...And don't think that because we don't rehearse every night,that there's free time!  I also have to prepare for this Monday's Facebook Live Event!

Then, on other nights that I'm not working, I find it important to maintain the few relationships that I do have and value. That calls for spending time with and/or supporting my friends' endeavors.  Tonight I'm getting out with a few of my friends to see other friends (the lovely and talented Aynsley Bubbico and Natalie Lander) in The Unauthorized Musical Parody of Bridesmaids at Rockwell.

So I hope you understand that, while I'd love to squeeze into those trunks, that I'm just gonna struggle out of a few minute after I arrive at the neked pool party and try not to drink too much on an empty stomach, because you know, NEKED...  I simply CAN NOT, due to my schedule.

Just a reminder;
BONKERZ! This Saturday night

and the diamond heist episode CHICO'S ANGELS 4 Aug 23-Spt 3, which is on the verge of selling out!

Thursday, August 3, 2017

Gay of A Certain Age - Little Orphan Danny

After that little kerfuffle with my alleged father, it occurred to me that, unless I get on with adopting a  child (mental children adopting children??), I'm not going to have someone of my own to call unnatural and evil.  (saddy face)    Along with that, I won't have any children to take care of me in my older age.  Then again, while I am terrifically grateful to my sisters for taking the lead on caring for our lovely mother, I'm not bending, even in the slightest, to make sure my alleged father is being taken care of.  So, even if I DID have a kid I could call unnatural and evil, it still is no guarantee they'd wanna stick around to make sure I'm gumming my One A Day gummies each morning.  Don't worry, I'm not even considering adopting.  What I do have to consider is the relationships I have with siblings and friends.  Who will I have around me in the sunset years?  While I ponder that, please read this little ditty on Aging Alone.

Monday, July 31, 2017

This Is Why I Am Single - The Power of Dark Brow

This Is Why I Am Single;

If I darken my brows
and jut out my chin,
I kind of look like
 John Travolta

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Gay of A Certain Age - "Dumb Dora is So Dumb She _______"

Should I be worried?  Remember how I said I was going to be doing the Mismatch Game a few weeks ago? I posted about it all over the social medias!  July 23, 7:00 PM..?

I posted this everywhere Sunday morning...

Then, sometime in the afternoon, feeling kind of sleepy, (exhausted from hiding from the sun in my dark apartment all day, I suppose)  I decided I would take a nap at about 5:30 to 5:45/5:50.  That way I could get in the shower at 6:00, leave at 6:30 and be at the theater with an hour to get ready. It was a great plan to be sure!  It wasn't until I arrived, unexpectedly finding no parking that I thought, "Why isn't there any parking? I'm here an hour..."  Then I got that feeling, you know, like my stomach flipped and someone punched me in the chest.  I was there with only ten minutes to show!  I drove around the block in a rush, parked in front of the LGBTMNLOP Center at a space marked, "No Parking Anytime.  Tow Away", knowing that it was Sunday, hoping it wouldn't be enforced.  I grabbed all my crap, including make-up, costume, wig and props.  In a tizzy, I frantically banged on the door closest to the theater entrance.  I stumbled in a heated rush in front of everyone in line, waiting to get in.  I scrambled into the dressing room shouting, "Who's on time, if the show is in an hour?"  I apologized to the rest of the cast and Dennis ( Who must have been very stressed out, what with one of his panelists nowhere in sight a few minutes before curtain without so much as a reassuring call or text...) I threw my crap on the dressing table and floor and did a quick character prioritization in my head; what is most important?  I actually ended up getting in character completely backwards; I put on my dress, checked for time;  Put on lipstick, checked for time; Put on eye lashes, checked for time; Put on eye shadow, checked for time; Put on blush, checked for time; put on base make-up around blush, lips and eyes, checked for time; put on eye liner and mole. IT WAS TIME!  I managed to get some version of Reba together, slapped on my wig and headed for the stage.  It really got my juices flowing! Fortunately, I did well on stage and fun was had by all.

I'll tell you, so many things were going on in my head as I swirled into make-up... I was regretting being late and worrying Dennis, hoping he wasn't too angry with me.  I couldn't ask them to hold the curtain for me because it was all my fault: I didn't have the luxury of worrying about how I'd look; my ego had to take a backseat to my sense what was right.  I kept thinking of ways to explain my appearance on stage, if I ended up going on in just a dress and wig, no make-up.  If necessary, I thought I would explain that Paris Hilton had used my eyeliner without permission, then when I used it my entire face stared burning, so I had to go without make-up for a few days.  Luckily, I looked enough like my character that no explanation was needed.  I have to credit that to a fortitude I didn't know I had.  It never occurred to me to give up and not try to get into make up and sit the show out, or delay the show for my regular get ready time (about 40 minutes).  All I could think was to get as much done as I could in the time I had and get out there.  The top picture is me in the show, not bad looking.  If you look closer you can see how jacked up the stuff really is, but it all worked out.

What worries me is that, as a Gay of A Certain Age, I have no idea why I forgot the show was at 7:00 and not 8:00!  Did I have a "senior moment"?  Am I losing my beads? ( I wasn't much into marbles as a kid)  All I know for certain is, it's a good thing I didn't realize how late I was until I was there and looking for parking (by the way, my car was not towed or even cited!), because if it had been earlier, I might have driven like an idiot rushing to get to the theater on the crazy-busy Santa Monica Boulevard.  Who knows what trouble I would have caused, then?

Please enjoy pics from Sunday night; cast and friendly fellas what came to watch...

P.S.  The cast was very forgiving and no one said a word in rebuke. ...but I think I did see Julie Brown give me a look as if to say, "he's not even gonna put on those pantyhose?"  She's sweet!

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

This Is Why I Am Single - REPULSION - A Guest Column

Muh DAB, Glenn Gaylord has something to say...

by Glenn Gaylord

 “I have passed some line, some place. I am beginning to repel people I'm trying to seduce.” 
Jane Craig (Holly Hunter) in BROADCAST NEWS

I’ve always been able to relate to the Jane Craigs of the world.  An outward firecracker who, when nobody’s watching, sits alone at home and cries.  I even admired how she would schedule her sob sessions, ending them abruptly with a little tug at the tissue dispenser.  When her boss told her, “It must be nice to always believe you know better, to always think you're the smartest person in the room,” Jane famously responded, “No, it’s awful”.  The smart lonely heart.  Jane was my role model, “except for socially” as Joan Cusack hilariously told her. 

I’ve always been fairly inept on a social level.  I’m blunt in a world full of conflict avoiders.  I’m a nerd about being reliable and on time in a world full of flakes.  I care about the world around me in a world that seldom cares back.  It’s awful, right Jane?

As for my love life, it’s been fairly non-existent.  People always tell me to stop looking and that it will come when I least expect it.  That strategy has never worked for me.  If I don’t make a first move, nothing moves.  I’ve never been the person who gets those calls from their friends that go something like, “So and so really likes you and asked me if you were single”.  If I go out, I never get hit on, and in the past couple of months I’ve been in 3 situations where I was surrounded by thousands of gay men, and I’ve never felt more invisible.  Sure, some of it is a product of my advancing age, but this was even true when I was a twink.  Some of it has to do with the fact that I’m terrible at “performing” for people.  I rarely say “Hey gurrrllll” and I don’t speak “DJ”.  I’ve never been very good at hiding my emotions.  If I’m having a good time, you’ll know it, and the opposite is even more apparent.  Still, I think I’m pretty witty, funny, have a great sense of adventure, career accomplishments, a loving family, and a genuine love of connecting with people.   

All of this is to say that I must have the worst resting bitch face on the planet, because, like my pal Jane, I’m starting to repel the people I’m trying to seduce. Yep, it’s happening.  I meet guys in all sorts of ways:  dating sites, apps (of all stripes), out and about, parties, museums, movie screenings, through friends, all of it.  Recently, I was out for a drink with a friend and ran into a delightful guy I know through work.  He was out with two of his friends, one with whom I felt an instant spark.  Not one to let life pass me by, I asked my friend if his pal was single.  He confirmed it, but also warned me that he has issues and I should steer clear.  The friend I was out with said I should just take a chance.  If there was a spark, why not explore it? 

So I did what any self-respecting fool would do and hit him up on Facebook.  Direct as usual, I told him it was great to meet him and asked if there was a spark.  He complimented me, used the “F” word (flattered…ugh!) and then continued by telling me that he has been with someone for the past 2 years and was very happy. 

When I took this info back to our mutual friend, he was surprised.  In fact, he said there was no way he was seeing someone.  Yep, things have gotten so bad that guys are now pretending to have boyfriends to avoid going out with me. 

A few weeks back, I met another guy at a party.  He had just moved to LA and, again, sparks.  Or so I thought.  We eventually exchanged numbers and met out for drinks.  You know those dates where the conversation flows so easily that hours go by without you knowing it?  It was one of those.  All of my past relationships started with such an epic running time of a first date, but, of course, the hammer came down.  It started out innocently enough.  He told me he hated living in his prior town because every guy he’d meet would tell him, “I’m not really looking to date”.  He said it was sucking his soul dry.  Wait a minute, that’s MY hashtag!  #MYDRYSOULISDEADINSIDE.  This sounded promising.  A like mind.  A guy who has grown tired of meeting unavailable men. 

And then this little nugget came out of his mouth, “And now, I’m that guy!  I’m not really looking to date”.  The proverbial air went out of the tires.  My inner voice raged, “THEN WHY ARE WE SITTING HERE?!!!!”  My outer voice just went, “Oh.  Cool.”  Oh, Cool?  There’s nothing cool about it.  It’s terrible!  It’s a tragedy!  On one hand you have everybody screaming about marriage equality rights, on the other,  NOBODY WANTS TO DATE!  Cupid, why hast thou forsaken me??!!!

Every time I walk away from these situations with my tail between my legs, my inner voice continues, “Maybe they’re just not into you.  Maybe you’re just not attractive enough.  Maybe they think you walk funny. Maybe you need to give up hope and just stop looking. Maybe you need to unplug your phone, and cry all alone like Jane Craig.”  

OR….maybe you need to write an article with the hope that a like mind will read this and will be the one to ask your friends about you!  Someone?  Anyone?  Is this thing on?