Monday, May 13, 2019

From The Interwebs - Speedy Judgement


Wednesday, May 8, 2019

Gay of A Certain Age - With Friends Like These... I'll Still Die Alone


As a Gay of A Certain Age, I really have learned to cherish my friends.  For example, there's my friend Kenneth Walsh, who took the time out of his very busy day to send me the above pic.  When he does stuff like this, it just confirms that he knows me all too well! 
Don't be too quick to judge! This photo isn't the message you think it is!
Do think Kenneth would send me this, just to rub my nose in the fact that I have totally let the latest season of AT HOME WITH AMY SEDARIS on Tru TV slip passed me whilst I was too busy for love?
He's not that cruel. 
He is simply saying I'm going to die alone.

Saturday, May 4, 2019

This Is Why I Am Single - I Am a History Teacher


This Is Why I Am Single; I'd rather put on a dress and sing about Mexican History than go out on a date with some guy who just wants to do tequila shots all night.





Tuesday, April 30, 2019

Gay of A Certain Age - A Clutter of Memories and Yes, Touch Me There Taco Friend!


Hello!  Had you forgotten about me?
See, the thing is, not only have I been too busy for love, I've been busy being busy!
One of the things I was busy with was rehearsing for CHICAS IN SPACE

It was a little bit of a rehearsal process for a one hour show, but it was such a hoot to do
and we got a new hunk to enjoy!

Something else that has been keeping me busy is decluttering my home!  I've been going through hell going through stuff and letting it go.  Before you ask, No, I have not seen the "Spark Joy" lady.  I'm afraid she'll get me to say goodbye to too many things. Anyway, one of my brilliant ideas was to take all my overstuffed photo albums, remove the photos, toss the albums and scan the photos.  My problem now, is I'm still having trouble throwing out a good number of the photos after they've been scanned!  ...Anyway, what that led to was me finding pics of myself from days gone by, when I didn't think I looked all that great.

Me, 1999

I don't mean to sound as if I think I'm Mr. Hot Stud, God's Gift To Gays & Instagram, which I do not.  I'm just trying to say that looking back... I was better looking than I allowed myself to believe.

Me,  1998



Obviously, I had some sense of self esteem that allowed me to play sexy in these pics, but that's all I thought I was doing; playing, pretending to think I was sexy, or in some other unposted shots, obviously spoofing sexy.  As I got older, I got even more self conscience.  In this pic from a Miami visit in 2003...
The entire time I was in South Beach with my friends, I thought I was so fat!  All my friends were lean & toned and I was embarrassed to be in my swimsuit next to them.  I wasn't necessarily crying about it and I obviously didn't stop myself from leaving my hotel room in my trunks and having a great time, but it was a little naggy thing in my head the entire time.

Now, I am the most out of shape I have ever been and when I pose for pictures I try to find clever ways to hide my belly or just suck it in really hard.  Don't get me wrong, this isn't about me looking back and crying about my lost body and, wah wah wah, I'm fat.  Well, maybe a little...

Getting back to decluttering my home.  So, another part of the process is the yard sale.  Yes, I was ready for this year's edition of Brett's Big Gay Yard Sale!  We didn't sell a lot but, we did have a big gay blast!

We even had a photo shoot right in the middle of it!
Here's a shot where you can see I'm a little uncomfortable taking a full body shot, worrying about my belly.

Regardless of my mild discomfort, I was still able to get out a few fabulous shots.  Here's the one that made the Facebook story.

And the group shot...


And while we didn't sell a lot, everything that didn't sell went directly to Out of the Closet.
So, our homes are a little less cluttered and we went out to celebrate!

Off we marched to Marix for tacos and Margaritas.


...And that's where it happened.  There, a man I find attractive (but unavailable) told me he has always found me attractive from afar and that he really has a thing for my belly. Then he quickly rubbed muh tumtums.  I liked it!

WHAT?

That was the the best thing to hear after fawning over my own old photos of me with a nicer body. (Yeah, I'm lusting after my younger self, SO WHAT?)

If anything, it's a nice reminder that no matter how I feel about my appearance, there'll someone out there who loves the way I look.

As a Gay of A Certain Age I learned that when I'm having a low self esteem day, all I have to do is flash forward to 20 years from now, find myself attractive, then masturbate.
Honestly, just masturbating always makes me happy.
...I gotta go, suddenly...

Tuesday, March 26, 2019

He Don't Even Know - Gimme a Red One!


Meet "Davi"
He's my fitness minded boyfriend.
Although he'll workout like a demon to stay fit, 
he just can't resist a cold Hawaiian Punch!
I asked him why he likes it so much and he said,
"Because it's so sweet,
like YOU."

I'll take it!
And that's why I let him give me his own 
Hawaiian Punch, anytime he likes!

Friday, March 22, 2019

Gay of A Certain Age - A Reconsideration of Romance and Love; or Who Was On First?


What is wrong with me?
See this guy?


 His name is Jim.  We held hands and made out & stuff for over 13 months.  We are still friendly now, just not stick our tongues in each others mouths friendly, anymore.  I always call Jim my first and only significant romantic relationship.  Then, I embarked on a project to make my home less cluttered (BIG MISTAKE) and I decided to clear out my photo albums- I took all the photos out and dumped the albums and am now in the very long process of scanning in the photos I wanna keep (which is all of them) and (trying to) tossing the paper photos in the recycle bin.  That when I came across this guy...


His name is Ed.  I forgot how we actually met, but I remember I really liked him and we held hands and made out & stuff  for a few months.



 I know it was a few months because of the photos.  I don't even remember why we stopped seeing each other, but I do know it wasn't a huge dramatic break up...  But why didn't I consider this a significant romantic relationship  before this very moment, 20 years after not dating much, not having more than one other boyfriend and starting a blog called DieAloneWithME.Com??  Maybe Ed and I didn't see each other every day, or as often as Jim and I did over that year.  Maybe I was just an ungrateful piggy and didn't realize what I had.  Maybe it wasn't all that great...  Hmmm.
Anyway, no matter how I felt after not seeing Ed anymore, I've decided that Ed is my first significant romantic relationship.  ...Especially because he was my first OFFICIAL Valentine! 


It's true!  He was the first guy to give me a Valentine's Day card and kiss me with full-on romantic notions behind it all.    I know that because he wrote it all in this; my first official
Valentine's Day Card.

No, I shan't let you read the inside, it's personal. (Has that stopped me before?)
And if being my first Valentine wasn't enough, he took me to my first (AND ONLY) Celine Dion Concert!! 

I know that sounds sarcastic, and I was dubious when he surprised me with the tickets, but I REALLY enjoyed that concert very much!  

Obviously, my friends liked him, 'cause here we are enjoying a game night of sorts...
(Geoff Meed having a physical Outburst)

Hmmm... I don't think I wanna ponder too much on why we parted, I'll just enjoy this nice memory brought to me by the horrifically bad idea of de-cluttering my home.

And yes, these did spark joy...



P.S. Astute readers may notice that my top pic and my other pic with Jim are both birthday celebrations for me.  Skeptical readers might ask, "If you were together for only 13 months, how did you spend two birthdays together?"  Most readers wouldn't give a shit... but I'll explain anyway.  I had two celebrations one year.  Jim had a nice dinner for me at Off Vine, where he invited some of my closest friends and a few of his lovely friends I still love and enjoy.  The second was a surprise celebration my, then, roommate Kris threw for me at El Coyote with my, then, boyfriend, Jim and a bunch of his own friends (whom were all nice and fun...)  So I'm not lying about this stuff, no matter what the surface appearance my indicate.   

...or wait... Did Jim and I start in September, with my birthday right away, then.. aw Crap!