Tuesday, March 21, 2017

He Don't Even Know - All A-buzz About Pride

This is "Ramiro", 
I was fondly remembering our adventures
on the Puerto Vallartan beaches last year, 
When I recalled his bring to my attention
Smirnoff's LOVE WINS campaign 
last year.

It happened in the UK
and was quite delightful.
I think "Ramiro" had me so drunk on love
that I forgot to tell you about.
Think of it as a Pride Primer at this point...
read all about it HERE

Sunday, March 19, 2017

This Is Why I Am Single - BAM!

Even though I haven't posted a Too Busy For Love post in a bit, I have been very busy.  One of the activities that has kept my calendar full is trying to keep up with the movies of 2017.  I think I missed a lot of the ones I wanted to see last year and am just now reminded of them as they hit the Netflix (or those remind me of other ones I really wanted to see but will never be on the Netflix).  Anyhow, all this is to say, I finally got a chance to see THE LEGO BATMAN MOVIE.   I'll tell you I really enjoyed the first LEGO MOVIE because I went in expecting to hate it and was pleasantly surprised.  This time I went in with some expectations of quality and humor.  What I didn't expect was to get a moist eyes because I was identifying with the stupid plastic stop-motion star of the movie!    If the plot of this animated silliness is really something you would rather not know before you see it, I suggest you stop reading now (This my gentle reader(s?) is a good old fashioned SPOILER ALERT)  If you need further encouragement to leave this movie unspoiled, please visit one of my favorite He Don't Even Know Entries...

Okay, so I'm sitting there enjoying this plastic cartoon... honestly, not quite as much as I enjoyed the first one, but still very entertained... when I start feeling this weird little tug inside.  What is this feeling? As the movie continued I felt it more and more.  Was I identifying with Lego Batman?  One of my favorite things about Lego Batman is that he is an all out Dick.  He's hilarious, but a Dick.  Is that what it was?  Was I feeling my Dick strings being pulled?  No, that wasn't it, I've known about and appreciated my ability to be a Dick for years. Nay, decades!  Imagine my shock when I realized that I was thinking "OMG, I'm just like that!"  See, the whole deal of the movie is how Batman insists on working/being solo because he can do it all himself.  Of course, you know that he actually doesn't want to work with/get close to anyone else because he's afraid that they'll get hurt, which in turn means that he's afraid he'll get hurt.  It's not the most original story, certainly not for a cartoon, but CRIPES it's kind of a jolt when some bit of kids' entertainment makes you feel like you've been torn open and everyone can see inside.  Gosh Darn It!  I went for laughs, not for self reflection... Asshole Warner Borthers!  What's worse is it feels really stupid to be having this mini-emotional crisis lounging in a room filled with colorful lights and children.   Okay, wait, let's be certain that this was not a "Oh, I want kids" episode, it was totally about keeping people away to protect myself.  Yeah, that's all it is.  I know it's a simple notion, not a major revelation, but sometimes when I keep myself busy enough, I forget that's what I've been doing.  Don't get me wrong; I'm not terribly lonely and I do appreciate my time alone, but I would be lying if I didn't say that sometimes I do feel like I'm eating lobster alone sitting on a Bat Jet Ski in the middle of a large swimming pool.  So, now that this issue has been brought up to the surface, again, what am I going to do?  Not a damn thing.
Fuck THE LEGO BATMAN MOVIE!     I don't need anyone!!    You think a few well coaxed tears are going to change me??  NO!!     Not this time!  >BAM!<     I'd rather be lonely than rejected >POW!<      I love masturbating >WHACK!<

This Is Why I Am Single; I cry at cartoons

Now please enjoy this trailer for the movie that makes my revelation saddly obvious.

Monday, March 13, 2017

Gay of A Certain Age - Fighting MISNOMOPHOBIA

As you all may recall, I suffer from a self-diagnosed fictional malady known as MISNOMOPHOBIA, the fear of getting someone's name wrong.  Why just a weekend ago, I was at a lovely wedding reception for Jerry and Greg along with lovely people and friends that I usually only see when we get together with Jerry.  I know Clay.  I know who Clay is!  But ever since an unfortunate Facebooks tagging incident, I feel like every time I see Clay, he thinks, "Great, here's the asshole who thinks I'm Mike".  I know Mike. I know who Mike is!  But now, even though I know him, I'm afraid I'll call Clay "Mike".  It's ridiculous, I know.  This time I decided, "No! I will enjoy this event without worry of calling Clay "Mike!" and it went lovelyly!  I enjoyed myself, had fun, chatted, laughed, hooched it up a bit and was quite satisfied with myself. ...until I got to my car.  I had just hugged and kissed everyone goodbye when I replayed the moment in my head.  I could swear I called Clay "Mike", even though Mike was sitting right next to him and it would have made no sense for me to say it twice, I COULD SWEAR I CALLED CLAY "MIKE"!!  Did I really?  Am I an asshole?

I may never know the answer to the first question, but we all know the second is answered with a resounding, "YES".

Then, something wonderful happened this morning.  I was grabbing a shirt to wear to work, when I glanced over at my Colt Porno calendar and thought, "I've never seen this model before March 1st. What is his name again? Scott Carter."  Then, I said aloud, "Good morning, Scott."  It made me feel good to say his name with confidence.  I decide to use this moment as an exercise and say "Good morning, Scott" every day until I can do it without peeking down at his name listed below his balls.  I hope it will remind me to repeat a person's name when we are introduced and perhaps repeat it a few times in my head while they are still in view.  Of course, it doesn't help that the shadow of the clothing bar falls right across his face, and every the faces of all the other models in the calendar.  I guess I'll have to work just a little bit harder at placing the name with the face.  (Honestly, I'd be quite impressed with myself if I could place a name to a cock!  Only because that would mean I met a cock or two.) (wah wah)

As a Gay of A Certain Age, I am mortified that I am so horrible at names and not much better at remembering them.  I am also pleased with myself that I've found a practical use for my neked mens calendar from Colt!

...Now please, enjoy a few images from that lovely reception:

Congratulations, Jerry & Greg!!

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Gay of A Certain Age - 24 Legacy

Well, it happened this weekend; I went to the gym and I didn't burst into flames! (Although, sometimes my sweat burns me like holy water...)  As you may recall, my 50th birthday is approaching and I made my Recreate Geoff at 50 Project goal to recreate my friend, Geoff's photo- which is him, nearly neked, looking fit at 50.  I've taken my first official steps in that direction.  After well over a year, I made the grueling five minute walk to 24 Hour Fitness in the West Hollywood and did stuff that makes me ache and almost not be able to even type in this entry.  I forgot one of my general rules about the gym from years ago, "You can slow down, but don't ever stop".  That's because starting all over again from zero is a BITCH!

In order to apply more incentive than posting a nearly nude photo of myself for all the internets to see, I've decided to travel to New Zealand & Australia for my Big 50 birthday trip.  It will be Spring there and hopefully warm enough to take a dip at the several beaches I'll be near.  I would like to look fairly decent in a pair of actual Aussie Bum swimwears!   I don't expect I'll be Super Model ready, but I hope to look less schlumpy and a little more like this guy...

As a Gay of A Certain Age, I know it's important to strive to achieve one's goals.  It is equally important not to scare of any potential Kiwi or Bloke husbands while in one's donger wrap!

Sunday, February 26, 2017

Gay of a Certain Age - A New Language

No, I'm not impersonating the current President of the US, I'm going to talk about urinals.  More importantly I'm going to talk about what happens at urinals that has me concerned about my future peeing while standing adventures.  One day at work, I was taking my break, enjoying a nice tinkle at the urinal, when a co-worker took the spot next to me.  I don't know what I was thinking about, (it was prolly about the Rube Goldberg contraption thing never worked for me in the board game, Mousetrap), but suddenly I was pulled out of those thoughts because I believed my co-worker had said something to me.  (Do you think it's weird when someone starts talking to you while you pee, too?) He didn't actually say anything, though.  It was more of a noise.  From his mouth.  It was something somewhere between a sigh and a groan.  Then, as I was trying to figure out what I heard, he did it again.  He's a little bit older than me, but not much.  It was odd.  Then I started to notice it more when I would urinate in the same room with older mens.

What is this strange release of sound that accompanies the tinkling of older guys?  Of course, one is never surprised to hear a little toot come from someone, once in a while, because there's complicated pipe control going on down there, where sometimes it's hard to tell which release valve is loosening... but what is that coming from their mouths?  Sometimes, it's like a hum, a sigh, a moan, a groan, a death rattle, et al.  Is it pleasure, pain, or just plain relief? And more importantly, DO I MAKE THOSE SOUNDS?   Is it a language that spontaneously develops at the age of 50, or something?
I guess it worries me because it sounds like they don't know they are making that sound and I shiver at the thought of sounds coming out of me that I'm not aware of!  If they are aware of these sounds, why don't they stop them? If you're going to say something, say it. Don't make me wonder or assume what's going on next to me.  I have a crazy imagination and you have no idea what kind of BLACK MIRROR type shit I can conjure up!  Don't do that to me!  And for piss sakes, tell me if I'm making those noises!

As a Gay of A Certain Age, I may not be able to control my stream, but I'd like to think I can control my sighs.

Friday, February 24, 2017

Gay of A Certain Age - Out With the Daddies

Hey!  I'm almost 50!  That's right, soon, when a hep kat kid calls me "old man", he will be quite correct.  I ain't afraid of no 50.  I've always held the belief that you're only as old as you feel
right under the butt cheek.  OUT Magazine has agreed with me that age doesn't necessarily preclude sexiness!  Check out their slide show for proof!

...And take a gander at my entry for their list