PREVIOUSLY on S'up, Muh DAB? - Is this Bye Bye?:
I told you about enjoying the single life with my Die Alone Buddy, Brett.
I told you about enjoying the single life with my Die Alone Buddy, Brett.
Then, Brett married Andrew
...and I made their marriage about me.
There, now that you're all caught up,
let me tell you how their marriage has affected me.
Not, badly, at all.
While there's really not more to say on the subject,
I have some pictures I'd like to share,
so, I'm gonna go on a bit.
First, I'll say that one of the biggest fears
I had about losing muh DAB
was that once he was married,
he'd end up being tied to the waist of his new husband
leaving me no time for buddy time with Brett.
I'm happy to say,
that that has not been the case.
Brett and Andrew have been able to maintain their relationship,
while not spending every freakin' moment of the day & night together.
They each have time when they can enjoy stuff with their friends,
or have time alone.
That has been my ideal all along,
and know that if I ever do find that someone,
this would be a big part of our relationship.
As I said in the few on-line dating profiles I've had,
"I'm looking for
someone who respects my my independence as much as they value their own."
I'm very happy for muh former DAB
for finding this.
That's not to say that there hasn't been any affect on our friendship.
Now, there's negotiations that need to be made before we can have our fun.
In the past, when we've decided we're going to Miami for the 4th of July,
(WHY? It's so gosh-darned hot!!
(WHY? It's so gosh-darned hot!!
...but we have!)
we could just make our travel arrangements and go.
Now, if we ever wanted to do that,
Brett has to consult with someone before I can start picking hotels.
Also new; there's a whole other group of friends
to consider for invites to events.
What if Brett & Andrew are having an event that has to be small?
Now, not only am I contending with my own stable of friends,
Now, not only am I contending with my own stable of friends,
suddenly, I'm up against Andrew's group of friends
for an invite, too!
BUT,
for all my worries about being left out
or loss of time with Brett,
the past couple of years have been pretty good.
Spending time with these two as a couple
has been quite nice.
Andrew fits in really well,
which can't be easy for someone younger
blending into a friendship
that's over 20 years old.
As I said, I don't see Andrew every time that I see Brett,
but I have seen him at times that are special to me.
...Like, my Birthday
...like, including me in a surprise for Brett's birthday
...or showing up when I'm in a dress
Speaking of which,
while I haven't spent much time with Andrew alone,
we did share something special
without Brett.
Andrew donated a good portion of his time to help me
with my return to the BEST IN DRAG SHOW,
to do a farewell number before I handed over the crown.
I loved Chita Rivera's performance of
WHERE YOU ARE
WHERE YOU ARE
(From KISS OF THE SPIDERWOMAN)
on the Tony awards and chose that for my show.
Andrew bravely agreed to dumb down the choreography for me,
a major non-dancer
and for two other hunky guys
who didn't exactly go to the FAME school of performing arts,
Ruben Zambrano and Erick Nett.
(Both sweethearts)
I'm sure he knew it would be a major undertaking,
but he did it,
for no pay, like, literally for charity
He graciously agreed to be in the number
...and literally do the HEAVY LIFTING.
I can not say how much I appreciated that
and couldn't be more proud of the work
he put into making it happen.
In addition to
being a great guy and helping out new friends,
he also appears to have a high tolerance
for our ridiculous idea of fun,
which includes, but is not limited to
Brett's photoshoots.
Sometimes, these can take an entire day,
but we enjoy the set-up time and the bonding.
Plus, they're really neato!!
but he shows up!
Speaking of we:
I'm not the only one Andrew has to deal with,
there's a small, tight group of us
that he's squeezing into
and that can't be easy.
The dinners,
the holidays;
a Christmas
a Fourth of July
a wedding...
So, while it may have been somewhat intimidating for him,
I'm very appreciative that Andrew
did not come in like a wrecking ball
and lay waste to Brett's friendships and friends-time,
as I've seen happen in other cases.
I needn't have feared losing anything it all.
And, even though
I have realized, over time,
that I can be stand-offish and not let people in right away,
I look forward to further developing a
I have realized, over time,
that I can be stand-offish and not let people in right away,
I look forward to further developing a
lovely friendship with Andrew!
...If he has the patience.
So, while Brett may no longer be dying alone with me,
at least,
and most importantly,
we still get to watch
crappy horror movies together
from time to time!
Happy union Brett & Andrew
and thanks for the time!
