Sunday, February 26, 2017

Gay of a Certain Age - A New Language

No, I'm not impersonating the current President of the US, I'm going to talk about urinals.  More importantly I'm going to talk about what happens at urinals that has me concerned about my future peeing while standing adventures.  One day at work, I was taking my break, enjoying a nice tinkle at the urinal, when a co-worker took the spot next to me.  I don't know what I was thinking about, (it was prolly about the Rube Goldberg contraption thing never worked for me in the board game, Mousetrap), but suddenly I was pulled out of those thoughts because I believed my co-worker had said something to me.  (Do you think it's weird when someone starts talking to you while you pee, too?) He didn't actually say anything, though.  It was more of a noise.  From his mouth.  It was something somewhere between a sigh and a groan.  Then, as I was trying to figure out what I heard, he did it again.  He's a little bit older than me, but not much.  It was odd.  Then I started to notice it more when I would urinate in the same room with older mens.

What is this strange release of sound that accompanies the tinkling of older guys?  Of course, one is never surprised to hear a little toot come from someone, once in a while, because there's complicated pipe control going on down there, where sometimes it's hard to tell which release valve is loosening... but what is that coming from their mouths?  Sometimes, it's like a hum, a sigh, a moan, a groan, a death rattle, et al.  Is it pleasure, pain, or just plain relief? And more importantly, DO I MAKE THOSE SOUNDS?   Is it a language that spontaneously develops at the age of 50, or something?
I guess it worries me because it sounds like they don't know they are making that sound and I shiver at the thought of sounds coming out of me that I'm not aware of!  If they are aware of these sounds, why don't they stop them? If you're going to say something, say it. Don't make me wonder or assume what's going on next to me.  I have a crazy imagination and you have no idea what kind of BLACK MIRROR type shit I can conjure up!  Don't do that to me!  And for piss sakes, tell me if I'm making those noises!

As a Gay of A Certain Age, I may not be able to control my stream, but I'd like to think I can control my sighs.

Friday, February 24, 2017

Gay of A Certain Age - Out With the Daddies

Hey!  I'm almost 50!  That's right, soon, when a hep kat kid calls me "old man", he will be quite correct.  I ain't afraid of no 50.  I've always held the belief that you're only as old as you feel
right under the butt cheek.  OUT Magazine has agreed with me that age doesn't necessarily preclude sexiness!  Check out their slide show for proof!

...And take a gander at my entry for their list

Tuesday, February 14, 2017


No need to feel sorry for me, today

I've had a few friends send me some
handcrafted Valentine's Day Cards!

Three were crafted in my home, 
while another was crafted across the country!
There's something special about opening your mailbox
and finding delightful surprises!

I love & appreciate them all.
Thank you!


Sunday, February 12, 2017

This Is Why I Am Single - Out of the Mouths of Babes

So, this hottie hit me up, I fought against my insecurities and allowed myself to believe that it was for real, which turned out nicely.  Then, just when I thought we might take another step in a new journey for me, I hear from him that That Man who is currently our president and his travel ban kept the hottie in Mexico and out of reach.  Now, here's the next, but not uncommon, reason that I am single.
Three days after I sent a message asking where and how he is, he replies to me by telling me that he was joking about it all.  Haha, great joke. (That's sarcasm).  What would possess him to lie like that, except to have an unalterable reason to not get together again?

I was preparing to have the kids over for Craft Night 2017 in just a few hours when I got his message revealing his joke (A WHOLE FUCKING WEEK LATER) and I didn't have time to deal with drama so I simply responded that I was having friends over and invited him to join.  It's a week later and I still haven't heard a "Sounds fun," "No, thanks" or even a "Fuck off" from him.  I truly do not get this behavior.   Come on to me hot & heavy, tell me how much you like me and then step away.  What is that?  I can blame myself for allowing my protective wall down. I can assume that I was correct in my insecurity and he was disappointed by me, either physically or personality-wise.  I can choose to say, "Never again,"  but I choose the "Fuck Him", option.  Even though there's a little part of me that thinks, "Maybe it's a misunderstanding.  He's being cute and playful.  Maybe that's how the young guys are now, all off & on..." I will be strong and not go back.   I can be strong because I know that even if those little excuses were true, that's not what I want.  I really liked that he decided that he liked me and took a chance to contact me.  I liked that he actually showed up.  I liked that we seemed to get along well.  Certainly, I liked that he was a hottie.  I liked how I felt after he left.  I really didn't like that follow through.  I want a man who backs up what he says and does.  If he decided that he didn't like me enough to continue seeing me, he should have said that.  If he liked me enough to only see me once in a while, he should have said that (Lord, knows I don't have anything else going on...)  Unfortunately, now, even if he wanted anything like that, I couldn't possibly say "yes", even though under different  circumstances  I would totally be up for it, because now there is a major trust issue.  I can't trust him and that is not what I want.  Above hottie-ness, I want trust.

This Is Why I Am Single; I won't sacrifice trust.

Friday, February 10, 2017

He Don't Even Know - The Key Master

This is "Mario",
he's a swim instructor in Puerto Vallarta.
he really wanted to get me in the water,
but I was reluctant because I was afraid I'd lose my hotel room key.
He was kind enough to offer to wear it on a string
around his neck.
I was sold and let him get me all wet 
& show me some great strokes!
I felt safe with him
so, later, I let him put his key in my lock!

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

This Is Why I Am Single - Craft Night 2017

My favorite event of the year has come and gone.  This past weekend, I had an apartment full of friends and scissors, cutting & pasting and drinking & tasting!  There were so many people and so many cards!  
 ...And so many gays!
...and some real girls...

Honestly, I thought my little apartment might explode.  Luckily, we never got to the point of people crafting on the little patio out front.  I really enjoyed having a full house and scurrying about making sure that folks had enough to eat, drink & craft.

I played host so much, that I really didn't get a chance to craft with everyone else

Even so, I was pleased to see everyone showing off their work

...especially the naughty ones!


(I censored the naughty bits with stickers for sensitive eyes.)

Everyone seemed to have a great time, even though my special cocktail turned out to be a flop.  I followed a recipe that turned out badly and salvaged it by adding champagne.   I don't think there's anything that champagne can't help!  Well, there is that matter of not having anyone to give a Valentine to... "What about that nice looking guy who's stuck in Mexico, thanks to That Man," you ask?  More on that later.

This Is Why I Am Single; I still very much enjoy gathering with friends and cutting up!
Please, enjoy more pics!

And their cards

And my favorite of the night (By Billy Brooks)

After everyone left, I resisted going to a sexy party (Okay, I was too tired to try to get neked with another man- Also why I am single...) and crafted a few cards of my own.

 I guess I've been feeling more political than horny lately, so I guess this last one is my card of 2017