Sunday, May 29, 2016

I'm Dubious - Jackie Mason Doing ANNIE

Last night I saw TUCK EVERLASTING- It closes today.  I guess it would have been helpful to know that this was a children's show, but going in, I didn't now that (I didn't see the movie or read the book) and the girl playing the young main character came on like Jackie Mason doing ANNIE and they lost me.  It was everything one worries a musical might be.  Don't get me wrong, what they were doing, they did great, I'm sure this little actress is smart enough to forget everything they taught her to do for this show, but the production itself was certainly not my kind of show.  The basic premise of the piece is so thin that it was difficult for me to try to enjoy the show, despite the BIG kid acting.  I enjoyed most of the other actors (the ones who found the perfect space between the big direction and grounded- Michael Parks, Carollee Carmello) but all I could do is appreciate their effort and talent in this Broadway Machine product.  I won't even go into the story or details except to say SPOILER ALERT (do you really care?) She dies alone- never mind that these people whose lives she saved, who live forever never bother to visit her until after she is dead... END SPOILER

I'm dubious that this is the BEST MUSICAL of the year.

Earlier in the day I saw BRIGHT STAR,
 another show I knew nothing about, except that it's created by Steve Martin & Edie Brickell.  I was charmed and really enjoyed the old style stage craft and use of the chorus throughout the show that somehow felt fresh and new. I really liked this show, not just because Steve Martin, himself, opened the second act with a banjo number, but because while the story isn't new or terribly surprising, the actors are great performers and the show is well produced.

I still have two shows to see before I start declaring best musical of the year.  So I must away..!

Friday, May 27, 2016

Single Perks - No Waiting For Me!

Yesterday, I visited Grand Central Station.  Then, after a lovely tour of the New York Botanical Gardens,
up in the Bronx, where greens were the greenest and quiet was the order of the day, I saw WAITRESS on the Broadway.
To start, I wasn't too big a fan of the movie.  I thought it was okay, but very uneven.  The musical on the Broadway reminded me of that fact, but even though a lot here feels like it shouldn't work, it does.  I don't think the sound of the songs necessarily fit the setting of the show, deep South, but emotionally, they're great.  There are little surprises, vocally, that remind me that I love Jessie Mueller.  I fell for her after reluctantly seeing BEAUTIFUL and then, loving the show.  She has some great moments.  Christopher Fitzgerald steals every moment he is in, even when thanking an audience member for stopping a fallen mug from rolling off stage, as he's in the middle of singing his song. (Gravity was high on that stage last night, even though something fell unintentionally four or more times, each time was handled very well.) Fitzgerald exudes that confidence on stage that compels the audience to trust every moment with him; he is present, observant and in charge.
I won't recount the story, except to say that our dear waitress finds herself pregnant by the very husband she fears and hates.  She stops short of reciting the recipe for Unwanted Baby Pie. 
It just supports my feelings that it is better to be alone than be in a horrible and painful relationship.
While she waits tables, she's also waiting to break free.  I don't have to wait, I'm already free to live and love as I please. Them's the perks!

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

They Don't Even Know! - Heat Week

Did I mention that it's in the high 80's here?

...And that it's Fleet Week?


Gay of A Certain Age - The Father (Not my alleged)

Did I mention I'm in New York?  Yeah, yeah I am!  I've been so busy with work & crap that I forgot to mention that I would be visiting the Broadway.  Let me tell you right now, the temperature is up in the high 80's and if that isn't hot enough, it's also fleet week!

Today I followed my routine of flying out of L.A. early in the morning, getting to N.Y. with just enough time to set my stuff down in my accommodations, get my Metro plan set up and get to the TKTS booth in Times Square just in time to see a show.  Tonight my half-price (that seemed full price) show of choice was THE FATHER.

This Florian Zeller play, translated by Christopher Hampton and directed by Doug Hughes, is about the failing faculties of an old man who is living with his daughter and her husband, or not.  I love that this play is told singularly through the point of view of an aging man who is suffering from oldness. Frank Langella, (whom I vividly remember seeing as DRACULA 
on Showtime a few times when I was a kid in the early 80's and finding a spark of something that made me watch again and again...) stars as the frail minded father whom we follow through out the show, written in a way that we share his confusion.  The use of several actors and repeated moments, which are slightly different, help see what he is going through and we suffer with him, not knowing what exactly is the truth.  I also love that the play feels like it is moving forward and backwards at the same time.  THE FATHER's final scene had my eyes moist as I couldn't help thinking of my very own mother going through the same things.

As a Gay of A Certain Age, stage plays about elderly parents suffering confusion, frustration and sadness hit really close to home and make one appreciate the show all the more.  It does also make one wonder if one doesn't have any children to care for them, who's gonna get to suffer the brunt of their dementia?  Who?  And in that case, would they even know they're dying alone?

P.S.   I'm happy to report that only 4 cell phones went off during the course of this 90 minute play.
Fortunately, for those who enjoy cell phone rings, one went off during the final touching scene so that everyone got to hear it real good! 

Monday, May 23, 2016

Sometimes... I just want a HAPPY ENDINGS

I skipped Long Beach Pride
and spent a Sunday morning alone
enjoying myself with
coffee, laptop laziness
I got to re-watch the 
I miss that show

Thursday, May 19, 2016

F.U. Cupid - Photo Snob

I've been so horribly busy during this heavy drag season that I haven't had a chance to sit down & blog for a bit!  I have, however, had time to suffer with messages from wannabe suitors on OK Cupid.  A few of muh DABs have had some nice dates with guys from OK Cupid, but I scarcely have.  I'm very dubious of on-line dating because I feel there are men out there who take advantage of on-line limitations.  Currently, I'm talking about the profile pictures.  Some guys use this to deceive or hide who they are.  Some guys do it to impress and some do it because they fear they are not attractive.  Whatever the reason is, it pisses me off that they want to invest time in exchanging emails forever, finally agree to meet and then get upset because they are busted.  I don't go for the, "I wanted you to get to know me before you judged me on my looks," excuse, because whatever they look like, I'll be judging them their lying and find it very hard to trust them again.  I'll have a 2nd or 3rd date with someone I don't think is terribly attractive, but is a great person, before I'll have even one with someone I don't think is terribly attractive and is a liar.  That is why I've become very adept at sorting these guys out, so I don't waste my time.  I'm going to share a few tips with you so that you don't waste your time, either, because if there's trouble in the pic, there's trouble at home!

Call me a photo snob, but I judge the profile from my first glance at the pic.  I think it's rather simple to have a good profile pic; it's well lit, clear and a plain representation of the subject.
Above is my current OK Cupid profile picture.
I confess it is a few years old, but it is a clear representation of me and if I showed up on a date with a little rounder face, I don't think anyone would be alarmed or feel cheated.

Here are a few things that really bother me about on-line dating pics:
(I've blocked eyes to prevent any embarassment on the subjests' part) 

This is someone who doesn't need me to hide their identity because they do a super job of it on their own.  How am I supposed to know what he looks like if every one of his pics has him in sunglasses, a hat and a beard?  First off, I feel like he's hiding something; his age? his being on the FBI's most wanted list? his being possessed by a demon?  Either way, I know it's gonna take a long time to tear down that wall and if we ever dated and formed a relationship, this is the kind of guy where every week brings a new surprise; "You were married to a girl?", "You owe the IRS $120,000?", "You've never seen 9 TO 5??!!??"

This is the guy who ages, but his portrait never does!  He thinks you won't mind that he's 20 years older than you thought he going to be when he shows up for your Racketlon date.  You can usually tell a photo is way old when they are grainy, colors are faded, the outlines are fuzzy and Freddie Prinze is walking by in the background.  Look, sir, there are plenty of guys your age, who like to date people their own age, there are plenty of younger guys who love dating older men, but please don't try to make people think you're still 30 years old and get crushed when they leave you standing on the doorstep.  If these guys can't accept their age, what else are they in denial about?

This Glamour Shotz escapee puts out his own WANTED posters!  This guy is fast!  So fast that every photo of him is slightly blurry.  A a matter of fact, his skin seems really really really really smooth, his hair is darker than any other part of his body and his brows look very Siegel & Stockman mannequin-esque.  The scary thing is, they don't think you notice that their photo has been terribly re-touched to the point that it almost looks like a cartoon.  I suspect this guy tends to cover up a lot, but I prefer a guy who's willing to put it out there.


To me, this is one of the biggest cheats ever!  The guy with a prominently featured cute animal attached to him.  It's usually a dog, or most unforgivable, a puppy, that is used to get your "Awwww" factory going so that when you see him, you think you're "awwww"ing  because of him!  It's very subliminal and very crafty.  Sure, one of his supplemental pics could be one that shows he loves animals, but the profile pic should show he loves himself.  I'm immediately suspicious that if he uses his dog like this, how is he gonna use me?


These profile pics annoy me the most!  I'm especially annoyed when they are followed by more multi-person photographs.  I'm sorry, but your 10 word self-description does not help me determine which one of these four guys is you. Sure, I could pore over your other pics with multiple guys in it and suss out the face that is common to them all, but who's got time?  Especially when I'm gonna end up thinking I'm gonna date your hot friend.  I think that's the bait in this one; it's "look at all my hot friends you'll get the hang around with if you date me."  Which is actually, "I'M NOT ENOUGH."  Again, it's good to know that someone has friends, but that should be one supplemental pic, not the whole lot and certainly not the profile pic.


Oy, this one!  
  1.  If you're ashamed to be on this site..get off of it! 
  2.  "My body is my only worth."
  3.  "I don't really communicate well, but I know sex."
  4.   "This isn't my body and you won't realize that when we meet, because you can't see my face."
  5.   "My brain is exposed.  I have no skull cap"
I really don't know why someone finds shame in looking for someone on one of these sites.  Why else would they hide their face so obviously and violently?  If you have shame in finding love, then I hope you don't try to find it with me, because I have no time for shame or hiding like that.  I'll hide behind my sarcasm and passive aggressive behavior, thank you!  And you'll know exactly what I look like when I do!!

I'm not a trained psychologist, but I've watched all 11 seasons of CRIMINAL MINDS, so I think I've gotten pretty good at this.  So if you've recognized your profile pic in the ones above, I'm not saying you're a bad guy, or manipulative, but you might want to give more thought about why you've chosen the photo you picked to tell people who you are, and what you're telling them.

With mine, I think I'm telling people I'm a regular guy's guy, who's middle aged, probably ten pounds heavier than this shot, and thinks he knows it all.  What I hope they see in me is, hopefully, a person they'd want to know more about.

Thursday, May 12, 2016

Gift Ideas For the Dying Alone - The Springer!

Got a DAB with a birthday coming up?  Have I got something for you!  You know how sometimes you keep yourself awake at night because you're afraid you might die in your sleep and it's a Wednesday so the people at work might think you started the weekend early and your friends think you're busy with work stuff, then they don't realize they didn't hang out with you until Sunday night, then they figure you were busy, then won't hear from you until next weekend and the folks at work think you just quit, meanwhile your body is decomposing for at least 2 weeks before people start to wonder where you are.  Then, once you get yourself to close your eyes for an extended period of time, you start imagining the smell that is finally going to attract the attention of your landlord or closest neighbors; will it be the traditional rotting meat odor, or will it be that rot with a touch of the vanilla Scentsy that you can't usually smell until you come back home after an extended time away and it's had a chance to build up in the stale air?  Well you & your DABs don't have to worry about leaving a stinky rotted corpse anymore!  Not with this new gift idea, THE SPRINGER!  The Springer is a device you put in your door knob that pops the door open 24 hours after the last hand/knob interaction.  So, if you die, or are fatally injured and can hang on, the door will pop open and catch the curiosity of your nosiest neighbor, who won't be able to resist walking in and will undoubtedly find injured you & render help, or find your freshly dead body and claim your fancy Scentsy warmer before anyone else arrives.  Of course, you can adjust the settings for vacations or extended sex sessions.
Believe me, your DAB doesn't need another frame or gift card for P.F. Changs, they need The Springer!  Because no one wants to leave a stinky corpse!
Happy gift giving!!

Friday, May 6, 2016

Too Busy For Love - Drag Season In Full Swing

I'd love to go with you to see those super heroes fight each other while we make out in the back row of the theater, but I'm too busy!  Tonight I'm going to see muh DAB Terry's play, ELECTRICITY with muh DABs, David & Alejandro.

Then, I gotta go directly home and get some sleep because I have to wake up early, slap on some slap, put on a dress and scurry over to the L.A. Convention Center for Ru Paul's Drag Con 2016.
I'll be in the L.A. Condoms booth handing our condoms and PRep Pops! (I'm fairly certain that I am kidding about the PReP Pops...)  As you may recall, I was part of the free condoms campaign that included print & video PSAs.
I'll be doing this tomorrow (1pm- 5pm) and Sunday (2pm - 4pm).  Maybe there'll be some social events thrown in the mix, too!

Next weekend, I'll be doing colorful commentary for the DRAG QUEEN WORLD SERIES, a benefit for Life Group LA.

As you may recall, I did this last year and had a blast!
...And the hunky shirtless mens didn't hurt neither!
So if you like baseball, and enjoy seeing fellas in skirts & nuns habits playing it with very loose rules,
join us!! Get your tickets HERE

So, keep your tights on, I'm sure I'll have some time to go on a date or text back & forth endlessly without ever meeting, one day soon.  Until then, I'm rooting for that superhero with the big pecs and mysterious smile!

Getting Out - Of Margaritan Descent

I am a proud American of Mexican descent and I can tell you, with no reservations, that last night, after work, I went to Marix, met up with some DABs & friends and celebrated Cinco de Mayo responsibly.  Because some of my DABs & friends are ethnically challenged, I was sure to start the festivities off with a full explanation of what Cino de Mayo means in Mexico.  In Mexico, Cinco de Mayo means Fifth of May.  In the U.S. it means, get dressed up in potentially offensive garb & fake mustaches and get wasted!  I'm not one of the Latinos who is horribly offended by the bastardization of the occasion because I figure any celebration of anything Mexican is a plus!  I'm just saying, Celebrate now before Trump is elected president, buys up Hallmark and gets the day cancelled in the states...



Sure, we might have drunk a little too much...

...and enjoyed a little campy stereotyping,

but not all mustaches were fake

and we gave the margaritas right back!

It was a perfectly harmless night, especially when I actually followed my own rule and had food to sop up the alcohol, instead of my spongy brain.  We walked over to Basix, where I enjoyed some tasty carnitas & iced tea, while muh DABS, enjoyed a pizza and tacos.  Despite it being a work night, I was very glad that I did not just schlep home after work and watch TV, like part of me told me too. Getting out is good!  ...especially if it includes a nice bit of man watching/husband chasing!
(Too sober to love me)

(Too sober to love me)
(at this point, tequila is USELESS!)

This annual tradition of post-work Marix & Basix margarita/fooding is a very nice thing for me. I enjoy being around my friends, old & new, laughing & catching up, watching mens, flirting with strangers and trying to figure out whose pitcher is whose.  This has happened for many years and I hope it continues.  Maybe that's why I don't mind the things that other Latinos find offensive and distasteful, although I can see why they would be: It's just that right where I am, all that shit comes from a place of love & joy. 

Thursday, May 5, 2016

Gay of A Certain Age - No, You MAY Not!

Why do they keep doing this to me?  There I am in my bedroom, minding my own new month business, when I flip my hottie Colt Men calendar to May and see a dead porn star!  Not only A dead porn star, but the same one I complained on the Facebooks about seeing last year!
Darling Wilfried Knight has been dead since March 2013, he committed suicide at a time when more than a few porn stars were dying off en masse, (His is a sad story of multi-national love and immigration).  It's really disturbing, when one of your monthly joyful rituals is derailed by a photo of someone you know is dead and died in such a sad way.  I understand seeing his pic in the 2014 Colt Men Calendar, it was probably already set up & printed by the time news of his death reached people.  It was pushing it in 2015 when I saw him atop my February list of days; or 28 reminders that someone I fantasized about going on a romantic glass-topped train ride through the tundra of frozen Canada with nothing to keep us warm but the heat from own own naked bodies and a few well-planned Hot Pockets (Pepperoni) is DEAD.  Here it is, three years later and my May is marred by this reminder that dreams die.  Thanks a lot, Colt!

As a Gay of A Certain Age, I feel that I am old enough to look forward to flipping to the reveal of the new month's hunk without getting the constant reminder that there are even limits to out fantasies, and that real life romance doesn't always end up happily ever after (tragic in Wilfried's case).  The first time could have been seen as a "in memoriam" kind of thing, but now it looks like Colt is cheap and use his photos so that they don't have to pay another model.  That's just plain tacky!  Listen here, Colt, I do enjoy my neked man calendar, hung discretely in my closet and partially covered every other Thursday so the maid don't see if she should open the closet, even though she has no business being in there, because I do my own laundry.., but I will move on to another brand if you insist on exploiting dead porn stars to save a buck!  I am a loyal customer, Colt knows I am, but if this continues, I may have to try calendars from 
Raging Stallion,

 Naked Sword,

 or Hello Kitty!

Don't think I won't do it!!

Monday, May 2, 2016

He Don't Even Know! - Aqua Daddy

Say hello to "Bradley"!
Bradley is my DC Comics boyfriend.
I call him that because the moment I saw him I thought,
"Oh my Crackers, that is the embodiment of Aquaman!"
I was hoping he had a hook for a hand under that towel.
We met in the shallows, where I pretended to get knocked over
by a wave and let him rescue me from the next salty head.
I called him my hero and we laughed.
Next thing I know, he was giving mouth-to-mouth
resuscitation, even though I was perfectly conscious.
Then, we went back to my room where he showed me
it wasn't his hand that was hook-shaped!