Saturday, April 30, 2016

Gay of A Certain Age - Fighting the Puppy

I am currently in the town where I grew up.  I'm visiting my best friend, Ted, whom I've known since the early 80's in high school.  I'm having a blast!
We're visiting museums, going to the theatre, 
where I got to see my best friend, Danny Lopez, play Tevya in Fiddler on the Roof at my old theatre stomping ground. We went to the movies and a Farmers Market, where I was sure to take note of whom I assume are the farmers...

There is one difficult part of this visit.  That is meeting Ted's new puppy, Apollo.

This little cutie is a monster of love, a stinky handful and problem for me.  He is making me reconsider getting a dog friend.  I'm trying hard not to give in because I know taking on a puppy, or two (I've always thought if I was going to get one, I'd have to get two just so they'd never be alone.) would mean a serious lifestyle change for me.  I spend a heck of a lot of time away from home, what with traveling, theatre doing & going and man hunting, a good portion of that would have to stop.
As a Gay of A Certain Age, I know how I want to budget my time and right now, I'm still considering that getting myself a dog family would be more a selfish act for me, than a mutually beneficial furry relationship.  Nice try cute puppy, nice try!!

Sunday, April 24, 2016

Getting Out - Kinky Devil Deaners

Back to the full schedule; I've opted to take in some shows and support some friends.
Thursday night I went to the Pantages Theatre and enjoyed KINKY BOOTS, again.
Muh DAB, Dennis, found some tickets at a great price, so I thought that instead of being at home in front of the TV and laptop, I might enjoy some time with Dennis and shiny songs.

I'm glad I did!  Dennis is always a ball to hang with and the cast in this 1st National Tour is great!  I recommend it if it comes around your area, or if you're already in LA!  After the show, Dennis and I headed across the street to the W Hotel, where the cast performed some Broadway Unplugged for us.  It was a great time, even on a work night!

Friday, my friend, Stacey and I headed over to Rockwell to take in a few tasty cocktails and the unauthorized musical parody of THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA.
While the cocktails were quite delicious, our food was just okay, although I loved the risotto part of my chicken dish.
We enjoyed the show, which was Rumer Willis' first night with the production.  Overall, I felt that the show was a little looser than I care for.  I thought there was a little too much winking at the crowd and the Rumer (as actress) jokes, combined with the Anne Hathaway jokes, piled on top of the actual character jokes became a little too much to sort through, but the crowd was enjoying it thoroughly, so I may be too picky.
What I did think was pitch perfect was Drew Droege as Miranda Priestly.  He nailed it, as usual.  Drew is a consummate pro, especially with this style of show, so I can't watch him and not be thrilled and feel inspired. 

...and how can you not love Sebastian La Cause, singing shirtless?  The cast is constantly among the audience, sometimes sitting on them, so it was always a delight to see Sebastian heading my way.

Saturday, Dennis and I took in THE JUNGLE BOOK at the Writers Guild, and I loved the movie.
Then, we headed to a small game night where we played Mafia; in round 2, I was the doctor who killed more townsfolk with accusations than I saved.  I'm happy to report I was part of a successful Mafia team in round 3.  After the killing, we did some karaoke, that Dennis and I kicked of with a duet of When Doves Cry.

Tonight, I went to Muh DAB, David's screening of his documentary short, DEANERS at Busby's.
I can honestly say that I loved this movie.  Knowing that this documentary is about die-hard James Dean fans, I worried a little that I might be laughing at people and feeling guilty.  Just the opposite occurred, I was so very touched by the movie and thought it was very sweet!  Well, muh DAB, David is very sweet, so what was I even thinking?
I was very proud that he produced and directed such a great film.  I see great stuff happening for this movie. Visit the DEANERS Facebook page and click "like" if you're so inclined.  Believe me you'll like this movie a heck of a lot!

My weekend was full, and even though I never had another guy's tongue in my mouth, I had a freakin' blast!  Thank you, my friends and DABS who helped this weekend be a happy time away from my TV.  Now I gotta go watch Game of Thrones.  Bye!

Friday, April 22, 2016

Thursday, April 21, 2016

Gay of A Certain Age - Crisis? What Crisis?

Lately I've been feeling a little blue.  It's more than a loneliness thing, it's kind of a "something is missing" feeling, which I'm still convinced has a lot to do with my last 3 weeks of whirlwind travel & activity.  It got me wondering if this was a mid-life crisis.  Aren't I a little too old for mid-life?  I'm almost fifty, but I don't think I've ever had that big moment where I wonder what the hell I've done with my life, dump my age-appropriate boyfriend, take up with a 20 something jr hunk, and buy a sporty new car.  I'm basically content with my life and don't regret much- it's all been kind of nice.  Of course, I've been living a good portion of my life in a self-protective bubble that lets only a few people get very close to me, surrounded by a thick layer of great, trustworthy family & friends.
Does everyone have a mid-life crisis?  Can I expect to act unreasonably and go off on some wild tangent any time soon?  Or can I expect this moment of melancholy to just fade away, as usual, with no fancy red Miata to show for it?  I'll stay tuned and keep my 2001 Integra in the meantime...

As a Gay of A Certain Age, I've come to take bouts of the blues in stride and believe that everything is fine, I am where I'm supposed to be and who I'm supposed to be. ..driving what makes sense for me.  I think some people believe that life is not complete without a midlife crisis, so they jump on any unusual circumstance to convince themselves that it is happening and everything is wrong for them.  I found something to keep things in perspective for other Gays of a Certain Age.  It's a little harsh, but I think it does that trick.  HERE it is.

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

He Don't Even Know - El Hunko

This is "Felipe"
he told me he loves me 
while we were sitting in blue chairs on the beach
in Puerto Vallarta.
Now that we're back in the States
his favorite thing to do 
is sit next to me while I edit photos from the trip.
He gives me massages
that relax me and keep me going
at the hundreds of photos on my laptop.
He gave me a special massage as I worked on this one
of him!

Muy bueno!

Sunday, April 17, 2016

Too Busy for Love - The Come Down

 As you may know I've been terribly busy.  It seems that for the past couple of weeks I've been off on some adventure or other; I went to Puerto Vallarta to perform

..and oggle men

Then, the weekend after I returned, I went to Palm Springs to celebrate Muh DAB, Brett's birthday

..And oggle men.

Then the weekend after that I performed at BONKERZ

and oggled men

And the very next day I drove down to San Diego with my friend, Ray to see our lovely friend, Eden Espinosa in a new musical, RAIN

It was a really great show and, of course, Eden was great in it!

In between, weekends, my nights were filled with work meetings, dinner with friends, shooting an appearance in a webseries and a charity Bingo night for Muh DAB, Mike

(The lovely, Catherine Mary Stewart was in attendance)

Just yesterday, I was at a pool party, followed immediately by 4 hours of GEARS OF WAR with my friends, Geoff & Dave.

Today is really the first day I've actually been in my home with nowhere to rush off to, or prepare for.  Then it hit me, I am depressed.  It's a crazy kind of sadness that makes me feel really alone.  I blame the TRANSPARENT theme song.  I'm watching the show as I finally unpack from Palm Springs, put drag stuff away for a few weeks and prep my laundry.  Every thirty minutes I am hit with a new wave of sadness.  The show itself is amazing, but these are not happy people and I can't help pulling up feelings of sadness or frustration along with each of them.  
Don't be worried!  I know myself well enough to know that this is the come down after a very long string of events and happenings and scheduled fun.  It takes a little while for my mind and heart to wrap around the sudden absence of people.  It's almost like my mind and heart have to make up reasons that I am not surrounded by people having fun or receiving applause.  It's perfectly natural.  And to tell the truth, I do want to wallow in a little sadness and feel feelings that are stored away from other people.  It's good to feel, even if the feelings themselves are awful.
You may also know that muh DABs are legion, so I'm not getting a full day of wallowing in Transfolk & laundry.  Now, I am going for yogurt with muh DAB, Glenn, then I'm going over the hill to FEAR THE WALKING DEAD with my friends Billy & Barry, whom I haven't seen in weeks!  I really don't mind feeling blue, but I'm just too busy!!!

Monday, April 11, 2016

Gay of A Certain Age - 'Til It (Kind of) Happens To You

When did "victim" become such a pathetic word?  It seems to have so many negative attributes attached to it, that when someone is labeled a victim, they become so much more than a person who was harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action.  Today, a victim is someone who suffers unreasonably out loud to gain attention and pity.  Well, at he risk of inviting comments and shouts from the gallery with vitriolic intent, I am announcing that I am a victim.  Technically.  ...Or wholly, maybe I'm not even aware of any harm that has come to me, or is yet to come.  You see, I believe that I am a victim of date rape, even though there was no perceivable harm or injury.  It wasn't until the case against Bill Cosby reached a terribly high level of credibility and a group of us were discussing, joking, and making crude comments about our own opinions and experiences that I even realized that the very same things many of these women were reporting had happened to me.  You may be thinking, "Oh, come on!  How could you not know that happened to you?  Are you going to claim that it was so traumatic that you forgot?"  Well, oddly enough it is the opposite of that.  The incident seemed so benign that I dismissed it, but it did happen.  And, while I prefer that the memory came to me in a dramatic moment worthy of a Friday cut off, to be continued on Monday... I simply put an notion and an event together and there it was.  I was date raped.

I saw this guy at a grocery store in West Hollywood.  He was bald, muscular and very handsome.  He literally had a sparkle in his beautiful eyes.  He was several people ahead of me in the cash out line and he disappeared out the door with his healthy groceries, receipt and quick glance back.  I thought it was just another "one that I should have flirted with" situation, but I was pleasantly wrong when he drove up to me in his Jeep (A JEEP!) as I stepped out of the store.  He told me to hop in.  I did!  In just a few minutes we were in his driveway making introductions and making out like school kids.  Before I hopped in his Jeep, I was on my way to an engagement, on foot, nearby and I didn't want to be too much tardier.  We made a date and I headed off to the place I was going with the bottle of wine I got at the store.  The night of my date, I wasn't sure what was going to happen, but I prepared for sex, just in case.  You see, on romantic, maybe first of many dates, I don't plan on sex, but I prepare, just in case it gets too hot & heavy, or if I decide during the evening that a one night stand is the best this is going to be.  And he was hot!  Also, if sex does occur, I prefer just jump in and go where the moment takes us.  I'm not a "Top Only" or "Bottom only" type, I'm a "whatever moves me" kind of guy.  We go out to dinner at a cute little restaurant in West Hollywood (long gone) with pinatas strung about.  We have a nice conversation over cocktails and dinner.  Soon, we are back at his place, where I can't remember everything, but I remember making out, then heading over to his bed.  There we lay naked, talking and kissing for awhile.  He even gave me a nice little massage and got me totally relaxed.  I really enjoyed the whole thing, but wondered if we were ever going to get to sex.

I woke up face down with him on top of me and his hard penis inside me.  It took me a couple of seconds to pin point what was happening, but once I realized he was screwing me from behind, I thought "Oh, here's the sex!"  So I lay there and he did his thing and I enjoyed it and after he had his fill of topping, I got to face him and we made out more and did the other stuff I like to do in bed.  I fell asleep and spent the night.  I don't think I intended to do that.  The next morning we shared a shower and I walked to work, only because I had changed for our date the evening before and didn't have to worry about co-workers' comments about the wearing the same outfit twice.  So, I had a really nice time with this guy and liked him.  Unfortunately, as much as we tried we just couldn't get our schedules to match and I finally gave up trying to go out with him again.  Over the years I've seen him in the neighborhood or at parties, we say, "Hi",  we laugh, we're Facebook friends!  Should I be angry with him?  Can I blame him for anything?  Can I even be sure he did anything wrong?  This was years ago, I can't remember if he offered me anything to drink at his place after dinner, so I can't actually say he might have slipped me a Mickey.  All I know is, I went on a date with him, knowing there was the possibility of sex and I got it.  I wasn't traumatized, he didn't force me, I enjoyed it (after the initial ouchiness of having an unexpected and not-thin penis in muh tush), we're still friendly, how can I say anything bad happened at all?

Then I think about it a little outside of the "nothing traumatic happened" mindset.  What if I was a "Top Only" guy and waking up with him inside me bothered me and I tried to resist?  Would he have stopped?  Would he have beat me into submission?  What if I had said "no"?  Who puts their dick in an unconscious person's hoo-ha?  That has to be an indicator, right?  We hadn't discussed anything about having sex with each other, even though it was very implied with us naked in his bed together, but I never said "put it in" or anything nearly as romantic as that.  I never said, "yes."

Then, I roll right back over to; I don't know if he did anything more than assume I was okay with bottoming and was satisfied that it was alright when I didn't resist.  I have to assume that he is innocent of anything else.  But something still feels wrong and while it's nothing more than a new nagging suspicion, I can't help but think I should feel violated.  At the very least, I have a new empathy for women who have been raped, who step up despite the humiliation and loads of doubt heaped on them.  I feel sympathy for the women who aren't sure what happened to them, who may blame themselves and never say anything because they have no proof or certainty beyond the knowledge that they never said "yes".

As a Gay of A Certain Age, I have come to realize that as life continues, you may become aware of something that has happened to you in the past, that you either didn't realize affected you, or worse, harmed you in ways you didn't know about.  I learned that it's important to keep an open mind when people make accusations or are accused, because while the suspect is innocent until proven guilty, it's not always that easy for the victim.

Friday, April 8, 2016

Too Busy For Love - The Bonkers RAIN Down in San Diego

I must apologize for my absence.  It seems that since I got back from celebrating Brett's birthday on Monday, I've been on the go at work and after!

Such after work events include a long dinner with a DAB, rehearsal for an upcoming event, making an appearance in a webseries and getting a badly needed massage.  I can't believe there are only so many hours in a day...

Anyway, I would love to go see that movie about the lady who goes to jail, then becomes a monster cookie lady, but I'm still very busy!
Friday I have to work, then immediately head to Long Beach for a guys' movie night. Then Saturday, I have to pick between several events to attend just before heading downtown for an appearance at Precinct's club BONKERZ!

Where I'll be doing a number with the other 2 Chico's Angels.  It promises to be an exciting, fun, but very late night.  I hope I get plenty of rest because I have to wake up the next morning and head to San Diego with my friend, and fellow Angel, Ray.  We're going to a matinee of RAIN, starring our dear, lovely and mega talented friend, Eden Espinosa. (Fine!  She's more Ray's friend, but I'm sure she considers me a very strong acquaintance)

Anyway, I don't think we'll be back on the road until after 6:00, which means I won't be back in L.A. until after 8:00- just enough time to miss any FEAR THE WALKING DEAD season premier activities.  So you'll just have to watch that ex-con business lady eat brains on your own, 'cause I'm too busy!  Thanks for asking!

Sunday, April 3, 2016

Too Busy For Love - Spring in the Springs

I'd love to come over and watch that show with the zombies in our underwear, but I can't, I'm too busy!!  You see I just got back from Puerto Vallarta, when I had to pack up again and drive down to the Palm Springs.  I came to celebrate my friend Richard's birthday at Tropicale.

Then, I switched to the group house where we will be celebrating muh DAB, Brett's birthday for a few days.  We've already enjoyed a lovely celebration at Wang's.

Dinner was followed by 90 full minutes of musical gazing at Spurline!  There's, even more planned for two more days.  I haven't even mentioned the puzzle that I'm excited about putting together WITHOUT LOOKING AT THE BOX!   So, you're gonna have to hold off the zombies on your own, until I get back.   Please, save the "in your underwear" part for me, though!