Friday, January 29, 2016

He Don't Even Know - Craft Knight

This is, "Raoul".
I love "Raoul".
We met when one of muh DABs brought him to Craft Night
 as a guest.
I guess he was smitten,
because he surprised me
about 20 minutes after every one left.
He was shirtless at my door
and presented me with a coarsely crafted card
made from a cardboard box.
He cut up his t-shirt into jersey hearts
and put the golden "W" in the Sharpie written text
"I really like you,
it's no Wonder, man!"

Then, he helped me hang it over my bed...

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Getting Out - Everybody Go Bangles!

So, yesterday, I woke up and planned my day; "Go to work, come home, watch CAROL, go to bed"
Easy breezy, right?  Also, why I'm single, right?  Then sometime in the morning I got a message from my friend, Kenneth currently in the 213 asking if I would like to join him for a night of Susanna Hoffs & Belinda Carlisle.  I immediately thought, "NO. STAY HOME. WATCH MOVIE. SLEEP." So, I replied, "I would love to."  Accordingly, after work, I rushed home, downed for a 20 minute nap, got up, changed and made my way down to Largo.  I thought I'd leave a little extra early to find parking, even though it would take me only three minutes to drive down.  Then I got inspired! I had enough time to walk there! I had no idea what had gotten in to me.  Can you imagine walking from Santa Monica Boulevard, down passed Melrose, all the way to Beverly?  I found it difficult to imagine, so I hopped on a bus that was right on the corner of La Cienega and Santa Monica the same moment I was. PLUS, I had a tap card in my pocket, so it was free! Thanks City of West Hollywood!

SIDEBAR (in the OJ trial sense, not actually page lay out, because that's literally over there --->):
 I work in the Long Range and Mobility Planning Division of the City of West Hollywood and one of our goals is to get people to use their cars less.  Well, look at me!  I did exactly that!  ...And it was relatively painless!  Good on us!)

So, I met Kenneth and the guys at Largo and we had a great time.  Actually, Kenneth gives a great recap HERE.

After the show, we said quick goodbyes and scurried away in our varied directions.  I even WALKED home. The walk was very pleasant.  Actually, the entire evening was a blast and I am glad I shushed the inner-lazy in me and enjoyed this entertaining week night, only a twenty minute walk from my sofa.  Thank you, Kenneth for getting me out!  I actually got home and watched CAROL, too!  It was a late night (and an even earlier morning!), but it was well worth it!  

FYI, tonight's plan is to sit and watch BRIDGE OF SPIES, so don't call!

Monday, January 25, 2016

This Is Why I Am Single - It's in the Cards

Once again, Craft Night was a joy!  There's nothing like having a bunch of friends over to take scissors and cut their hearts out.

It doesn't matter whether they had someone to craft a card for or just some aggression to craft off, it's always nice to gather and share conversation, laughs & cocktails.

This is why I am single; I've taken to crafting cards that are not quite conducive to romance...

I need to make sure that what I make to amuse myself, doesn't become an unintentional mantra.
Sure, irony is fun, but it doesn't let you buy it dinner, then not even kiss you goodnight before excusing itself because it's unexpectedly tired.  
What I've learned is sometimes, you gotta give love a chance and invite it in.  So, while I'm cleaning up this humongous pile of colored paper, glitter and cut outs over the next few days, I'll take a lesson from my friend, Steven and craft a card about love...

Saturday, January 23, 2016

Gay of A Certain Age - Craft Night 2016!

As a Gay of A Certain Age, I don't think I'll ever get tired of crafting valentines for lovers I don't have!  Tonight is Craft Night 2016 and I have some guests coming over to ply their skills at drinking & cutting & pasting!  It's always a good time, even if they aren't the prettiest cards ever made.  As a matter of fact, one friend didn't like the card she made, so she threw it into the recycle bin.  A week later, another friend reported that he took the card out of the bin and sent it to his mother and she LOVED it!  So there you have it; one woman's trash is another gay guy's Valentine!
I hope you have an creative outlet like this, just because I'm dying alone, doesn't mean I gotta do it blandly!

Now, enjoy some of my previous Craft Night creations:

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

This Is Why I Am Single - Facial Scare

This Is Why I Am Single; Sometimes I'll leave my home with weird facial hair happening because something went wrong when I was trimming my beard, but I didn't have enough time to fix it, or shave it all off. I actually walk the streets, in my usual single state & hoping for suitor attention, with this on my face. Is it a beard? Is it a mustache about to sit on a toadstool? Is it the face of a human "Wooly Willy"?     I think it IS that last one!

Yeah, I look like I fell asleep and a five-year-old did my face with a magnet-pen and iron filings.
Who'd wanna date that?  Then again, I know few guys who really appreciate wooly willies!
Oh, well. I guess I'll walk around like this all day and see if it gets me any more attention than my usual face does.  Maybe a facial fetishist will give me a wink! ..or a barber!

Sunday, January 17, 2016

Gay of A Certain Age - A Table for the Dying Alones

 Last night was a blast!
As you know, I drove to Palm Springs to help my friends, Don & Steve celebrate their wedding reception.  I didn't make it to the wedding 8 years ago, so it was very nice to be included in the celebration!  You see, they got married in a small, quiet ceremony back when there was this little window for the gays to marry.  Being the fabulous fellas they are, they decided that they would not have the big party until ALL gays could get married.  So, eight short years later, SCOTUS decided to let them have their cake!  I was overjoyed to be invited.
When I arrived, I saw that there was a DJ...
...A handsome DJ, so I knew I would have a good time.  Then I saw Melissa
and was certain I'd have a Fuckin' blast!

Soon came the time to leave the greens and step into the tent where fooding and entertainment were to be held.  We had place settings and I panicked a little when I realized I wasn't seated with Melissa and her hilarious husband, John.  Where would I be sitting?  With whom would I be sitting?  I looked around for table 17, found it empty and sat down, waiting to see if maybe the DJ would be fooding with me, instead of running the technical stuff for the entertainment.  I should have thought about it for a second, because it soon became very clear I was at the table for the dying alones.

It's not a bad thing, it's more comfortable than sitting with some of those annoying, clinging and cloying couples.  Then to my delight, muh DAB (Die Alone Buddy), Dean sat right next to me!

Dean and I discussed many things, our friendship with Don & Steve, broadway musicals, great television, how obvious it was that Melissa & John were playing up that they were having a better time than we were...  So we sat back, ate delicious foods and watched family and friends talk and sing about how fabulous Don & Steve are.

The evening was a perfect delight and I couldn't have enjoyed myself more...

 I mean, I really couldn't!

It was nice seeing Don & Steve together, happy, and it made me feel good knowing that they care for their friends as much as they do each other.  Don & Steve rock!

 While I couldn't be more happy for them and couldn't have had a better time, I could have probably payed a little more attention to handsome waiters, DJ and caterers in search of a little lovin'.
The thing is, as a Gay of A Certain Age, I've learned that love and fun come from all around you and from many people rather than just one, so stay in the moment and enjoy where you are and who you are with.  There's plenty of time to go man hunting later.  And I just might have, I'm not saying.

...until my next entry.

Friday, January 15, 2016

UPDATED Gay of A Certain Age - Broadway Brake Lights!

Tonight I'm driving to Palm Springs to celebrate Gay Love with a married pair of friends.
The drive from L.A. to Palm Springs can be rather torturous.  If one leaves at the wrong time, it could mean making a usual 2 hour drive into a 5 hour trickle through a sea of bumpers.  I, for one, find it difficult to enjoy making a long drive.  Sure, I have enjoyed an aimless drive around from time to time, thinking about stuff with the wind blowing through my scalp.  There's something about a distant destination with signs every couple of miles letting you know you're not nearly as close as you thought you were to your landing-place that gets me very antsy.  I just want to be there.  I may speed.

Fortunately, I am hyper-aware that this drive may be a mini-series in the making, or even half a season of GAME OF THRONES, so I have prepared myself.  As a Gay of  A Certain Age, I have learned to pass the time of a long journey with the help of my iPod, the shuffle function and over 500 upbeat showtunes!  That's right, I'll probably get to my hotel thinking, "Wow! That drive was a breeze!  It's like I just saw a Broadway double feature!"   My friends, Cheyenne Jackson, Michael Ruppert, Marc Kudisch, Faith Prince, Patti  Lupone, Laura Benanti, and others will grab me and take me away from the wheel of my Palm Springs bound chariot and place me center stage with them as we sing about Xanadu, Zorba and Xanax! (I love NEXT TO NORMAL, do you know?).  My eyes will be on the road, but my voice will be in the sky, mostly because I 'll drive with the moon roof open!  So if you're on the 10 or the 60 (I'll decide when I get to that juncture) and you hear some asshole scream singing about Hoping He Gets It, That's me!!  Say, "hi!", or applaud, just don't let me see your brake lights!

With all the hoohaw I made about what time I should leave, you'd think I planned everything carefully.  Apparently I didn't.  I didn't plan on leaving a light on in my car and completely draining my battery.  Luckily my friend, Chetto (not his real name) from AAA was able to give me a charge (intended) and get me going (Intended again) on my way with only a 40 minute delay.  By the time I got on the road, it was very close to 10:00.  

My drive was a breeze!!  I got to my hotel by 12:30 and was pleased to find that I had been upgraded to a jr. suite.  
Ain't that nice?

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

This Is Why I Am Single - Cheesy Excuse

This is kind of an addendum to my last entry, because it is directly related, you guys.  As you may know, I went home to El Paso for Christmas.  When one goes to El Paso, they must see family, they must see friends and they must eat CHILE CON QUESO.  For those of you who don't know, in it's simplest form, this is a sauce/dip made of cheese and green chiles.  There may be variations in the cheese used, but the best is the government cheese Grandma used to wait in line for.  Apparently, almost any cheese used turns out delicious.  So, my dilemma is that everywhere I went, there was chile con queso; taco stands, fine restaurants, everyone's home...  Almost everywhere I went to eat, this stuff was poured on my food, and if it wasn't, I poured it on myself!  This may be part of why I made it to my highest weight ever.  Maybe?

This is a breast of chicken doused in chile con queso

This Is Why I Am Single; When in El Paso, I will gladly pour liquid cheese down my gullet, and not even consider working out or simply taking a walk to offset the effects.  Then, I'll whine about gaining weight in my blog.  I'm fairly sure I'll continue bringing my weight back down to my almost acceptable plateau, but what I'm certain of is that whomever said, "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels," has never had chile con queso made with Grandma's government cheese!

NOTE: There's a little more to Grandma's recipe, but I shan't reveal her secret.

Monday, January 11, 2016

This Is Why I Am Single - 'Member? Monday

This is when I went to Miami with a group of muh DABs!  'Member?  This was my first time in Miami and it was such a great time.  Here's the thing, I might have had an even better time, but I had something weighing on me... my weight.  I thought I was hideously fat.  When I found this picture while looking for another one, I was all, "What?? I thought I was fat?"  Crazy, right? ...'Cause I'm looking at that pic and thinking to myself, 'I'd do me.'  (I'm the one on the left).  Isn't it crazy how looking back at something with today's eyes can totally change an hard held opinion one had in the past?

This Is Why I Am Single; even though I have had the revelation that I wasn't as fat as I thought I was and shouldn't have let it encumber my enjoyment of Miami,  I can't look at myself now with tomorrow's eyes and convince myself that I'm not as fat as I think I am.  Yeah, this week my evil scale told me I'm the heaviest I've ever been.  Don't worry, I'm not suicidal, and I'm already heading back down to my almost acceptable/settling-for plateau weight, through a little dieting.  My weight does sometimes knock my self-esteem down, while sometimes, I don't let it get in the way, or very rarely, I might feel like it's the reason I'm sexy to someone.  I will say, that over the years, while I have not lost or even maintained that weight, I've done better at dealing with the way I let it affect me.  Obviously, I haven't gotten any better at feeling badly enough about it that I go to the gym... but, that's another "This Is Why I Am Single", ain't it?

Saturday, January 9, 2016

This Is Why I Am Single - One From the Queue

Nobody's been asking for days, so I'll tell you!  A little while back I said I had one in the queue and I should tell you how that turned out.
This is Why I Am Single (I guess you might be able to tell where this is heading); when one sees someone across the room and there's sparks, one should not let that person leave without a phone number.  That's what happened with me and I did not let him leave without my number.  As you can kind of see from the manipulated photo above, he has beautiful eyes and a plentiful beard.  He contacted me and, after an endless back & forth on availability, we made a date.  I was quite excited about that date and was all smiles and proper behavior.  As it was happening, it felt like it was going very well.  I don't think I had one moment where I was fumbling for something to say and there were no awkward silences.  We Q&Aed back and forth, while enjoying tasty cuisine of the Hugo's variety.
Then I hit a sign post, good or bad, you decide... After an hour he took to his phone and said he wanted to push something back another half hour because he was enjoying our date.  Is that good because he was having a good time, or bad because he made plans for the same night we had a date, for only an hour after we  met?  Then, when we were parting, after he said he had a great time, I asked if he wanted to do it again soon, there was that awkward pause that was absent during dinner.
Then a, "sure. Yeah.. Sure" came out, not exactly saving the situation.  I got it, but didn't understand what went wrong.
Then, as I was walking home I did the play by play in my head and figured it out.  While his eyes, beard and general niceness were very attractive, I went against one of my general rules on age.  He was young, 29.   Then, I replayed the conversation in my head and realized I was the one with plenty of Q and he was giving little A.  No, he wasn't secretive, or self centered, he simply didn't have a lot of answers for my questions.  They were simple questions, like "My favorite song is GOD GIVE ME STRENGTH by Elvis Costello & Burt Bacharach.  Do you know it?"  He didn't.  He didn't know Elvis and might have fibbed about knowing Burt.  He's a singer.  And looking back, a lot of the conversation went like that, me asking questions/talking about stuff that he didn't know about.  So while we did talk about stuff, I don't think there was as much substance coming from the other side of the table.  He didn't have enough life experience to keep up with my flowing river of pop culture and well informed opinions.  So, it went well enough, but I don't think there's gonna be a second date.  I do wish we had made out, though.  I was looking forward to feeling that nuzzly beard against my cheek.

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

He Don't Even Know - Run, Joe, Run!

This is "Joe".
You can see him here
fulfilling his New Year Resolution;
"Always run to Danny"

Sure, he means it literally, 
but he also means
no matter what it is;
good, bad, scary, happy
he'll run to me 
to share it.

I love it when he
shares all over me! 

Monday, January 4, 2016

Gay of A Certain Age - What, Me Worry?

I'm fairly happy with where I am in life, and as a Gay of A Certain Age, I might be more worried about not finding anyone, but it's not keeping me up at night,  My sleep apnea does that, thank you.
If you are a person who is Dying Alone With Me and are TRULY afraid of dying alone, there may be something you can do about it.  I found this helpful list of 11 Signs That You're Going To Die Alone and there's advice on how to avoid it.
I'm guilty of #2 & #3, but I'm still not worried.