Monday, August 31, 2015

He Don't Even Know - Summer Lovin'

Say "hello" to "Sammy"!
"Sammy" is nothing but fun!
He likes to have his days filled with activity 
and his nights with even more!

My summer nights have been 
more than Sandy & Danny 
could possibly imagine!!
This Australian hottie
is the one with the motorcycle
AND pink jacket!
He's a T-Bird & Pink Lady 
all rolled into one!

I love that together
we are Sammy & Danny
and we make our own 

Sunday, August 30, 2015

Too Busy For Love - Shoe Business

I'd love to go to that nude brunch with you on that private Malibu beach your father left you in his will, but I'm too busy!  Not only do I have two shows today, but now I have to replace two pairs of shoes!  The show is a little demanding on footwear, what with all the running backwards, fight choreography and getting up off of knees action... I lost TWO pairs of shoes, so far this weekend!  Now any time I had for brunch or nuding must be spent on Hollywood boulevard shopping for shoes with hung over hookers and club kids! I have to hurry, too! I have a matinee!!
But thanks for the invite!

Friday, August 28, 2015

This Is Why I Am Single - Sketchy Memories

So, I was on Facebook, as I'll be and I glanced at that "People You May Know" strip that usually holds a list of hot shirtless bears, gay porn stars and Shelly Long.  Well, there I saw a guy I went on a couple of dates with eight years ago, whom I'll call Adolpho.  My first thought was, "Oh hey, that guy." then, "I forgot about him." finally, "I thought we were friends on here..."  Had I been unfriended by a guy I didn't fall in love with?  We parted on friendly terms and we exchanged fun stuff for a while after.  I remembered exactly what it was about him that made me come to the conclusion that he was not the one.  Then I clicked on his profile and it would seem that the last eight years have been very good to him.  He's a little ruggedly good looking, now.  He's filled out nicely and he seems to be further along in his career, quite successful and everything is hunk dory!  Then I started wondering if maybe I shouldn't have been so hasty in my dismissal of him and his romantic intentions.  Then, I started to worry, that I am still the exact same person I was eight years ago and now, he's grown up and it is I who is unworthy of him, as if I'd been the one whose love was unrequited.  He unfriended me.  Before I knew it, I was fantasizing, hatching little plans to get him back, or at least get re-friended!
Finally I realized how silly I was being.  Adolpho was not the one that got away, because I remembered, again, all the things about him that gave me pause, most of all, there was no chemistry.
What is it about seeing someone that I shared a little time with, who seems to be doing quite well, that makes me suddenly start doubting myself or a decision that I made, or that I'm missing out on some better life?  It's crazy.   I'd be lying if I said this was the first time this has happened, there were a few, "Maybe I was wrong" moments.  Sadly, some of the other ones have resulted in reunion dates that were almost immediately ruined with the stench of "That's right, that's why I didn't want this the first time around!"  I need to remember to trust myself and trust that I know what I don't want, or what I'm not willing to compromise in order to be in a relationship.  Luckily, I remembered before I ended up on an awkward date with Aldolpho, because, as sweet and nice as he was, he wasn't the one (or one of the ones).  However, this is the first time I've dealt with the unfriending.  I might need therapy on this one...

(Awesome sketch of me by Miguel Angel Reyes)

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

National Dog Day - Poor Me

It's National Dog Day and I don't have a pic of my own pup to post.
I know a puppy companion would greatly improve my home life, 
but my lifestyle, right now, doesn't allow for a four footed pal to get the optimal attention
they so deserve.  So, until I make a big lifestyle change, I will post pics I took of some other 
folks' pups!  If you don't see your pooch here, dear friend, it's not that I love them less, 
I just gots limited space...



Tuesday, August 25, 2015

He Don't Even Know - Not Nicolette Sheridan

This is "Teddy"
The day we imaginary met,
it was Sunday Funday
and we were at The Plunger.
I don't know what it was that
put me in his sights,
but he kept buying me
I thought he was making fun of me 
because I said I still really loved
It turns out, 
he was really into me
and once I realized that he was,
I said to him as he handed me my fourth Cosmo,
"What are you doing? 
I'm a sure thing."

An hour later, he was actually into me.

Monday, August 24, 2015

Too Busy For Love - I love Crowds and funds!

I'd love to go to Aruba and lay nude with you on the beach  over the next two weeks, but I can't!
I'm too busy!  Chico's Angels is back for another two weeks starting this Thursday, plus I have a pick-up rehearsal Wednesday night and a short video shoot tomorrow night.  Add to that dog sitting duties next Thursday through Saturday and I'm just in a tizzy of activity!  Thank you for asking!

Speaking of Chico's Angels, in addition to all that activity, I'll also be very busy stirrring up donations for our Movie crowdfunding project.  We're raising a crap load of money to make a movie, so if you'd like to help out, with even a $1 donation click HERE.  Wouldn't it be great if I were too busy for love because I was making a movie?

Sunday, August 23, 2015

Gay of A Certain Age - Got Bent

I finally got a chance to see a stage production of BENT.  I read the play back in high school looking for a monologue or a duet acting scene.  I remembered parts of it that stuck with me, particularly in the second act.  I saw the movie based on the play years ago, but I don't remember much of it.  I was very excited when I heard that there would be a production going up at the Mark Taper Forum. BENT is the story of the persecution of gays in Nazi Germany. As the play started, I was a little thrown by the first actor's line delivery, but when the other actors seemed to match it, I supposed it was an intentional style chosen by the director, Moises Kaufman. Once I got passed the acting style and the hunky naked man, I got things from this live presentation that I didn't quite get reading it.   First, I didn't get how the main character is such a self preservationist.  He does some horrible stuff to stay alive.  When reading it, he didn't seem so cold and selfish.  Horrible things happen to those he loves, or doesn't love, (in the end we know it is love) so I guess he was just protecting himself.  Hiding his love, or not daring to receive love because there can only be a bad outcome.  Did I get that when I read it? Did that stick with me more than I know?
As a Gay of A Certain Age, I got a chance to revisit a work in a different form, through someone else's vision (Moises Kaufman) and learned something about things that had an influence on me as I grew.  I think I do protect myself at times, depriving myself of a potential relationship, or sharing some of my good stuff with a deserving partner or friend.  I see that some people might see me as a self preservationist, who will withhold to survive.  Now that I've seen it myself, maybe I can change course enough not to get myself to the point that I SPOILER ALERT fling myself into an electric fence in a concentration camp.  No, hopefully I'll learn to, at least, turn down the wattage of the electric fence around my heart.

Saturday, August 22, 2015

Gay Of A Certain Age -Abe Froman's Day Off

Let's begin today's entry with a hop into the Way Back Machine and travel to 1986.
It was a year of tragedy with Chernobyl and the Challenger Space Shuttle exploding.
It was a year of happiness with MAGNUM P.I. as the number one show and the introduction of the Omnibot 2000!  It was also the year that John Hughes gave us FERRIS BUELLER'S DAY OFF.
I mention that because you should know who Abe Froman is. Abe Froman is the name that Ferris steals off of the reservations list to get a table for him and his friends in a swanky restaurant.  The host is dubious, because Ferris seems much too young to be Abe Froman, The Sausage King of Chicago.
You should know who Abe Froman is because, at a time when guys gather together and proclaim a name for their private part, I named mine Abe Froman.   You should know I did this in order to bring the whole thing full circle and explain the title of today's entry.  You see, I was having "fun" with a male friend of mine, naked, and right in the middle of the fun, my Abe Froman decided to take the day off.  It's crazy! I was mortified.  I couldn't understand it. We were "playing" nicely, footloose and panty free, when I thought it might be fun do gymnastics and do a half-back flip without "dismounting."  It seem to go well, until I landed and not only did I not stick the landing, I totally slipped off the mat!  My friend was very kind while I tried not to freak out about it, because I know the more you freak out about it, the less likely Abe Froman is to return.  We played other games in hopes that Abe would just pop up, but no.  I think he went to the MET to admire art or something.  I helped my friend finish his game, then we went out for lunch.  We had delicious savory crepes, while we chatted and laughed.  After lunch, as we were saying good bye, we had one of of those good bye kisses that leads to another with a giggle, that leads to another.  While we were in the middle of this long goodbye, who should turn up, but Abe Froman saying, "What did I miss?"  My friend noted his arrival and said he looks forward to playing again soon.

First, my friend is such a sweetheart for not making an issue of Abe's desertion of us.  This isn't the first time we've played, there have been some very nice and exciting play dates before, this was just one where we decided to play full-contact.  I have no idea what happened to Abe.  I enjoy my friend's company very much, he actually excites me and we get along very well when not in the sandbox.  Honestly, if all we did was cuddle in the sandbox, that would be enough (SHUT UP!)  That's good, because, at the very least, he knows Abe likes him very much.  I know Abe likes him, too!  So where did he go?  I wish he could talk to me and tell me.  Abe and I are together very often, at least once a day, AT LEAST.  That lets me know he doesn't mind being around me.  So what is it?  Am I too fat?  Is this a weight thing?  Could Abe be affected by my weight?  Am I too old?  Does Abe get bored of my stories and leave sooner now?  I'm only 47, is that when every guy's Abe leaves them with no notice?  I'd hate to think that I have to offer Abe some blue candy to stay with me.  Do I have to get little blue candies, now?  Do they mold?  I rarely get the opportunity to play, so I don't know how often I'd be using them and it would suck if I finally got to play with someone and have them come out of the back of the medicine cabinet all furry and green.  I suppose I could do my yearly check up, now and ask my terribly handsome doctor if there is a logical, non-scary explanation for Abe's absence.  I can't have it.  I like Abe a lot!  I think he's a righteous dude.

Thursday, August 20, 2015

Gay of A Certain Age - Banksy On It!

One of the things I really enjoy doing is going on urban photo safaris!
I walk the streets with my camera with brilliant street art in my sites.  Sometimes I circle around and stop my car when I see something intriguing, or I'll just snap a eyeless aim wild pic while driving and hope it comes out.  I snapped the photo above in New York, with no clue that it was by Banksy.  Banksy is probably the best known name in street art and has reached a level of fame that is almost disappointing.

I don't seek out any artists in particular, I just enjoy scoping out and capturing the pieces before they get painted over, replaced or vandalized.
Sometimes when I visit New York, it's most of my Friday!

The idea of art, out in the open instead of up for sale in a hoity toity gallery really appeals to me.
I enjoy the political, as well as the whimsical.  Perhaps his ability to combine the two is what makes Banksy so notable. I do enjoy when I impress myself by correctly identifying a particular artist based on their style. (I guess Homo Riot isn't too hard to figure out..)  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy hoity toity galleries and museums but I find the immediacy and unexpectedness of street art more impactful.

I truly admire artists who get elaborate and work with the environment and utilize existing images, or use incorporate stuff around their "canvas".

As a Gay Of A Certain Age, I've come to appreciate art beyond the frames and find inspiration in the images from artists with something to say and say it at no cost to the public.

Now I see something fabulous happening in England and I'd love to go see it!
Banksy has set up an outdoor exhibit featuring 50 artsists that looks like it would make my head explode.
I'm seriously considering going to DISMALAND.
Check it out HERE

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

He Don't Even Know - Community Theater Rocks!

This is "Patrick", 
I imagine we met after I saw him 
in a local production of 
Yes, I know, he's an actor
and actors shouldn't date other actors
no matter how pretend they are!

I couldn't help it!
You see, the show was a typical
micro budget production with recorded music
instead of live 
and costumes by
Out of the Closet, 
but he and the rest of the cast were
very, very , very good!
I think I fell in love with him at the end of the show
when the guys on stage
pull off their jocks and go
the full monty.
The night I was there, 
Patrick's jock didn't release when it was supposed to,
so he gave it another tug.
It unexpectedly flew out of his hand
and knocked out the free standing light
that was supposed blind the audience to
his full montiness.
No, it wasn't his full monty
(although, it was quite full)
it was the charming look on his face that flashed
from complete horror
to embarrassment
to "well, there it is"
to "Look at me!"
to "Are they gonna go to black out any time soon?"
He handled it like a pro.

I stayed after to say "hi" to  my stage manager friend,
and Patrick tried to slip out without 
making eye contact with anyone, 
but I had to tell him
how much I admired his
fabulous reaction to the flub.
He chuckled and then we stood there awkwardly
for a second 
then we both walked out of the lobby 
to Yogurtland.
After deciding neither of us thought 
the other was an asshole,
we went back to my place 
where I tried to imitate his face during that moment for him,
I didn't get it quite right until I actually
went Full Monty.
I'm method that way...

Monday, August 17, 2015

The Trials of Man Solo - Chafe and Warm

I'm not a nurse, but I've played one (badly) in a short film.  I'm not a time traveler, either, but I'd like to take you back to this weekend, when a DAB of mine and I walked for two hours on a hot summer day and encountered a spider.  It turns out, not only did I suffer the humiliation of the "There's a spider on me!" dance, I also am suffering from a terribly ouchy case of chafing!  It didn't feel so bad Saturday night, but Sunday morning, after driving to breakfast with a friend, I had to come right back home and sit nude (on a towel) the rest of the day and night, because I had sores on my tushy and high on my inner thighs where there sweaty moist seam clumps in my underwears rubbed against my skin for a long hour walk home.  Luckily, I had an almost expired tube of cortizone cream that offered a little relief.  It was no fun (I'm still suffering, now).  It was then that I thought it would have been nice to have somebody there to play nurse for me.  While I enjoyed the company of HANNIBAL, Amazon Prime & Hulu Plus, none of them could roll me over, apply some cream and gently blow to cool my hot tush.  They couldn't run out and get me a salad from Hugo's or a crepe from WeHo Bistro, instead of the serviceable tuna sandwich I made myself. (I would have ordered delivery, but I would have had to answer the door nude!) They couldn't tell me, "it's too warm in the living room, go to your bedroom where the swamp cooler hits you better. Idiot."
Such are the Trials of Man Solo; at times when one would prefer to be coddled and receive some TLC, there is no one there.  Fortunately, I survived!  Could-Woulda-Shoulda, right?  Anyway, I finally got a chance to watch TROLL HUNTER!

Saturday, August 15, 2015

WTF - Weird Tales File

This has nothing to do with being single, or living alone,
except that it happened while I was with one of my DABs...
It's something I worry about every summer and tonight it almost happened!
See, muh DAB and I (mostly muh DAB) thought it would be a good idea to walk from his place
in West Hollywood to the mall in Century City to see MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 5.
The walk took more than an hour and by the time we got to the theater, MI5 had sold out,
but we walked a long way! We weren't just gonna turn around and go back home,
so we saw FANTASTIC 4, instead- that's not the weird tale! (Believe the bad reviews.)
It was as we were walking back, through the sketchy neighborhoods of Beverly Hills, in the dark,
when I brushed up against a bush.  I felt a tough, stringy web thing on my arm and brushed it away.
Then I commanded muh DAB to stop!  Right in front of us was a spider web stretched across the
sidewalk.  A closer look revealed a spider right at face level.  Had we kept walking,
one of us would have kissed a spider!  I moved over to the street, to walk where it is safer.
I was almost gloating how I had saved us from a vicious spider attack, when I felt the stringy webbing, still on my arm.  I brushed at it again and when I looked down, I saw another spider ascending the web right up my leg!!  I did the gayest little dance while I lept off the ground to put distance between me and the spider that was attached to the web stuck to my arm.  It kept coming up!
I finally broke the web and he fell straight away as I continued to dance.
I love summer, but I hate inconsiderate spiders who build their webs across walk ways, or even,
as once in my former home, across the door way!

The little guy I took a picture of above, wasn't in a web, but skittering along the doorknob to the garage.
I don't want them dead, I just want them to keep in their own space!
Anyway, the weird part was the dance.

Thursday, August 13, 2015

Single Perks - Feasting My Eyes

Golly, it's a good thing I'm single, otherwise I may not be able to oggle to my heart's content!
I don't have to work too hard to convince others that I do enjoy an eyeful of hunky man, so when I'm in the vicinity of such, I don't turn away shyly and if I happen to have my camera with me, I'll snap a few pics.  I've only had on one lone term relationship and one of the things I truly appreciated was that my man didn't mind my involuntary eye candy consumption.  The first few times together, we'd be driving and a Chris Hemsworth type would jog by shirtless (a regular occurrence in WeHo, almost as reliable as the bus schedule...) so, I'd turn away from the site, worried that I would offend my beau by glancing at a hot piece o' beef in onion skin shorts.  To my relief he said, "You can look."  Which, of course, I did and by then, he was gone.  CURSES!
I really like that my guy knew that my looking at a hot guy in no way diminished my admiration for him.  He wasn't jealous at all.  He knew he didn't have to be.  Everything I had worth giving, I was giving to him.  He thought that ignoring the obvious was as ridiculous as I do.  I know his looking at a hunky guy doesn't mean that he's not into me.  If I was to feel threatened by that, it would be because I felt insecure about our relationship and the presence of some unknowing hot guy would be the least of my problems. The important thing for me is that if I'm in a healthy relationship, the site of Joe Manganiello walking towards us isn't going to make me or my mate suddenly end our relationship, as if Joe were some kind of Medusa. I know that I won't own my mate's eyes or mind or feelings and he certainly wouldn't own mine! If I ever felt the need to control those things about him (or control any of him, for that matter) then I would know that the relationship is unhealthy.
Fortunately, I'm single and I don't have to worry about any of that. So, until I find a fellow wide-eyed mate, I'll keep enjoying the view, and try not to get my eye poked out. Them's the perks!

By the way, I've been in the presence of hot mens on numerous occasions, as my camera can attest, and NOTHING has happened with any of them. So there! (saddy face)

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Gay Of A Certain Age - Warm Memories

As A Gay Of A Certain Age, I'm allowed to decorate my home as I wish,
without having to consult the taste of a live-in love.  I'm also allowed to fill my closet with as many
clothes as I wish, fashionable or not.  Unfortunately, there comes a time when you may realize
that you have too many clothes in your closet and some of them you haven't worn for years.
I mean, YEARS.  What to do?  Sure you can sell some to used clothing retailers, who are likely to give you more judging looks than cash or you can just give them away to a charity clothing store (I recommend Out of the Closet).  Some clothes are easy to get rid of, while others have an inexplicable emotional value.  Could I possibly give away a t-shirt from my first visit to Broadway in 1992?  Who would want t-shirts from my days at the Union Dinner Theatre, 20 years ago?  I worked hard for my Aerosmith local crew tee!   Yes, I could need therapy after clearing out some old clothes...

Fortunately, muh DAB, Dennis Hensley, introduced me to Project Repat!  This is a company, where you send in your favorite tee shirts, which you can't wear anymore because you're too fat, or they're damaged, or they have those awful yellow deodorant stains in the arm pit, or they just won't survive another wearing... in any case, they take the tees and make them into a nice, soft quilt!
I really enjoy mine very much!  I recently took it to a screening of XANADU in a cemetery and bought a t-shirt there that I'm sure will go into my next quilt!

Also, this company employs Americans!  It's called Project Repat because they are repatriating jobs!
It's a can't lose all the way around.  I highly recommend it, especially for you guys with all the Judas Priest and Def Leppard tees from happy days (and probably current ones) at the El Paso County Coliseum, where it seems there was at least two heavy metal bands every weekend!
Repat & Rock On!!

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

He Don't Even Know - Harder Than A Matador Coercing A Bull

This is that time I imagine I went to the beach 
with "Gus".
The amazing thing about that is that "Gus" got me there!
I am such a home body
that I'd rather stay in watching
again, than go out into the sun.
Many a lesser man has failed to get me out of the house 
and they either gave up and left
or stayed and withered into small dust bunnies
that my maid is afraid to touch.

"Gus" has succeeded in a way that is marvelous.
I try to resist, but I can't
when he grabs my head
holds me still
looks into my eyes and says,
"We're going"
(then the kill)
and smiles.
The combination of his eyes, voice smile
and little tingle sparks on the sides of my head
tell me that I must be where he is.

So, there's the beach
swap meets,
baseball games!

My favorite thing is when I do it to him
and he pretends to go along
and follows me to bed.

Monday, August 10, 2015

This Is Why I Am Single - The Constant Reminder

So there I am, minding my own Instagram when some little fucker leaves a comment on one of my photos... 1 man + 1 woman = true love #truelovelost.  There it is in one emojied sentence- the experience of being gay, or black or just different.  No matter how progressive or liberal you may think the world around you is getting, there's always going to be some one or some group that will come to you, unprovoked and try to put you in your place.  Here I have some nitwit trying to tell me, that as a gay man, my love is not valid or true.  I'll venture a guess that he considers himself a Christian and he probably attends a church where they approve of this attitude and behavior. He and others like him, wouldn't know true love if it was in front of them because they are too busy looking at photos of shirtless hunks and leaving homophobic comments.  Again, unprovoked he came to me to spew his hateful message.  I'm not hurt, so much as annoyed.  I am secure enough in my sexuality and emotional being to know the validity of my love, but I'm not secure in my emotional restraint.  I know the right thing to do would be to ignore & delete, but it was late and I was tired & weak, so I responded. At least, I was provoked.  I commented on every photo he posted.  I started with "Some guys suck (emoji rooster)", something I thought was appropriate, cute, a little shocking and not personal.  Then, I started criticizing the photos, themselves.  There were plenty that were out of focus, poorly cropped or badly framed.  Then, I noted or hashtagged all of the photos that featured phallic symbols, like the tall building, the jellyfish, the mushroom and furry caterpillar. On one aquatic shot I commented "the stingray is flat, like your photography".  I'm neither proud, nor ashamed that I turned into some bitchy queen and I'm sure when he sees the comments, he's going to feel like he's the victim.  I don't worry about myself becoming a monster, either, because it wasn't long until my focus went from hurting his feelings to amusing myself with what I felt were clever insults.  Here's my question, why should I worry about hurting his feelings? Why should I put the kid gloves on? Why should I show him any mercy? Why shouldn't I face this evil with evil of my own?  Because I know it is wrong.  I know it is wrong to make anyone feel less than what they are.  I guess I did it because I wanted to knock this homophobic little fucker off his high horse (there was a photo of horses that inspired a Dr. Freud comment), even though I knew it was wrong.  I don't know if it was justice, but I do know it was therapeutic.

This Is Why I Am Single: Every day I'm faced with constant reminders that my love is less, that love for me is less, that I am less of a person and I don't deserve to be loved like straight people are.  Whether I am engaging in an argument or minding my own business, someone will remind me.  It doesn't matter that I don't believe it, it's difficult finding the other half of the couple that isn't damaged by it.  How many guys have I tried to build a relationship with whose part in it was diminished by these everyday reminders?  How many gay men are doomed to never having a relationship because they will never believe that they are worthy of love? How many of them have self hatred that is endlessly fed by all these messages?  That's why we have to push back, so that #lovewins

Saturday, August 8, 2015

Gay Of A Certain Age - A Girlfriend I Could Love

Last night I went to see GIRLFRIEND at the Kirk Douglas Theatre and thoroughly enjoyed this gem.
I had no idea what the show was about before I walked in, except that the show was built around songs from Matthew Sweet's Album of the same name.  I am saddened to admit that I have not really taken time to listen to Matthew Sweet, and apparently missed out on a grand experience, listening to this album when I was younger.  Now, I've purchased the album on iTunes and hope that there is an Original Cast Recording to come.
I might have been thrown by the title of the show, but I was not expecting to see the relationship that develops between these two guys.  I really enjoyed watching it unfold, even though it made me a little melancholy about coming out so late in life.   Looking back as a Gay Of A Certain Age,  I didn't come out (including to myself) until I was 28 years old and I didn't really do anything with guys or girls in that time.  There was some weird stuff with my roommate, Shelby,  the year or so before I came out; something I think that had to do with unrecognized sexual tension which ended with me getting punched in the face over a missing beer mug and him getting arrested for assault.  I never got to have the young love story or the first love story.  While other gays were finding themselves in exciting, frustrating and terrifying  love stories, I was enjoying living life without sex and through the love stories of those who lived in KNOTTS LANDING. (Is it a coincidence that I came out less than a year after KNOTTS LANDING was cancelled?)  If I didn't have the young love story that played out from meeting, to dating, to relationship, to break up, I at least had the delicious awkwardness of meeting someone I really liked, with no idea why I really liked them and not knowing how to express it, along with not realizing, until years later, that someone really liked me that way, but I was clueless because I didn't know I was gay.

Regardless of my lack of experience as a fresh out of high school gay developing a relationship with a fellow youth, I really felt with these guys and went along for the entire ride, connecting through the music and recognizing the feelings and thoughts that defy age.  Maybe I'm more empathetic than I should be, but after this show, I kind of felt like I actually lived the young love story... or maybe the show and cast were that good.  Anyway, I'm glad I caught this show before it closes tomorrow.  If you have a chance, see it, it's delightful and touching.

Friday, August 7, 2015

This Is Why I Am Single - The Accidental Friend Beard

Here I am with my friend Ray.  Aren't we a cute couple?  No.
I have great friends, some of which are DABs, and I enjoy spending time with them,
we don't have a problem showing affection for each other.  I'd say it's pretty great
and that's a problem.

This Is Why I Am Single; I have such a great time with my friends in public places that many times people think we are dating.  If a guy who would be perfect for me sees me happily attending a show or chomping lunch at Hugo's with the same friend time and again, he may dismiss me as unavailable.
That is very unfair, because I know when I see a guy I'm interested in, I walk right up to him and declare my intentions, no matter who he is with.  That's not at all true. I think our insecurities take over when we see someone we like and will use any factor as an excuse not to a approach.   Maybe we should start a new code, but instead of hankies, we use phone covers.  We could walk around with a red phone cover if we are single and available, a blue one if we're single and desperate, yellow if we're single but not emotionally available, a green phone cover if we're just easy regardless of relationship status, red with green stripes if we're single with good credit, green with black spots if were LTR material but will fuck Channing Tatum if he asked...

I don't know, there's gotta be a way to have a great time with friends without worrying that I'm discouraging a potential suitor.  If you have any suggestions, please let me know.  Until then, I will be enjoying uninhibited good times with muh buds.

Thursday, August 6, 2015

This Is Why I Am Single - Such A Pooch-um

Can you blame me?
Look at that face!
Is it any wonder I prefer a dog's company to a man's?

This is the face of a being who wants only to bring happiness and comfort!
He wants nothing in return but a hand on his head, back or butt.
...maybe a taste of your face.

Unfortunately, this is not my personal comfort companion,
he is with a friend of mine, but when he bounced up to me, threw himself on the ground
and rolled at my feet, I knew he was speaking my language.
He was saying, "Be my friend."
...or was it, "You gonna eat that chip?"

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

He Don't Even Know! - Color My World

Meet "Kevin",
he's an imaginary blast!
Our favorite thing to do is find local fairs
around the city
and enjoy a few beers, 
then get our faces painted.
By the end of the night,
we end up tipsy at home 
getting paint into every nook and cranny
of our naked bodies!
Remember, Water colors are safer than oil paint!

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Gay Of A Certain Age - Tacoless Tuesdays!

Today, two very kind fellow employees invited me to join them for lunch.
The sad story starts now, they said they were going to a taco place in the heart of West Hollywood, Boys Town and I had no idea which place they were talking about!  Apparently it has been there for months and I was clueless.  We arrive at Guisados and I note that I have also missed the new places next door,  Bar 10 and Bayou!  This is the hot spot of my very own city, just a 15 minute walk from my front door! How could I not know these places?

As I was munching through a delicious sample platter, with six of their many taco offerings,
(I'd already snarfed one up before taking a picture) I thought that this simple menu of tacos only is perfect fare for Sunday Funday activities or just a simple, light dinner.  Then I thought,"why haven't I been here, yet?"  I glanced up, shuddered and thought, "oh, THAT'S why."  Across the street is Pump, Lulu Whatsherface from Idiot Wives of West Of West Hollywood's restaurant.  I've avoided this part of town since the once delightful Abby turned intro Stupid White Girlz hanging with their "Gays" and the homophobic assholes who want the Stupid White Girlz.  Even more, I don't come here because of the icky people I'm sure Pump attracts.  It's the perfect hideous pairing for the Abby.

As a Gay of A Certain Age, I like things how I remember them.  I remember Sundays starting at Marix for margaritas, then heading into Boys Town on foot and ending at the Abby, a sprawling gay haven where gays of all types convened and ignored each other.  When the Abby started getting icky with stupid girlz trying to be like Harpy Griffin and collecting Gays like they were Hello Kitty Pez, we would end our tour at HERE, just short of the Abby.  Then, it started being no fun.  I don't like to even talk about those awful reality shows that showcase stupidity that affects their idiot audiences who learn that that behavior gets them attention.  So when Pump opened up, I decided that the area has been infected with douchebags and their douchebaggery and vowed not to return.  Apparently, I'm very good at keeping a vow I don't exactly remember taking.  I may be wrong, of course.  Perhaps the people who enjoy Pump are perfectly nice, fun folk who enjoy a good laugh and Donna Mills stories, but I don't think so.  In any case, perhaps it would behoove me to visit the night life in the area with willing friends and revive my interest and social reach.  Why should I let the perceived presence of  vulgar jerks deprive me of delicious tacos and a possible hook up at Motherlode?  At any age, that'd be a nice night!

Monday, August 3, 2015

Single Perks - I Pooled It Together

Here are some more pics from the pool party I'm glad I didn't talk myself out of attending...

It's a good thing I'm single, otherwise I might feel guilty enjoying these pics!
Them's the perks!