Wednesday, September 21, 2022

The Trials of Man Solo: Broadway Producers Hate Single People!

 


It's no secret that I've been having an affair with Broadway for many years, and we've been getting along famously... Until now.

I have not visited the lovely New York City or Broadway since January 2020 and I can barely stand to be away for so long.  I have missed entire runs of shows...

The way my visits usually go is that I'll see an announcement for a show that really captures my fancy and I build a theater-going weekend around that show.  Because I am not a rich man, I check my usual airlines for the best (cheapest)  flights that will maximize my time there.  Lately, I've taken to catching a red-eye after work on a Wednesday, getting me in early Thursday morning.  Then, I go to my friend's apartment (Again, not rich and avoiding prohibitively high hotel rates) take a good nap and wake up refreshed and ready to catch a Thursday night show, leading into a weekend of 5 shows, until I leave on Sunday night.  

Let's rewind to when I find a show I REALLY wanna see;
Usually, I head directly to Theatremania.com

They offer great discounts for shows that wanna boost audience attendance. In my case it's discounts for brand new shows that are just starting out and can put people in seats and, hopefully, get some good word-of-mouth advertising going.  If the show I want is not there, I use the site to get regularly priced tickets, which are going up and up.  Then, I'll go back and see what other shows I haven't seen (or I really enjoyed enough to see a second time,) are offering discounts and continue building my weekend.  Sometimes, I miss the window for the discount offer and head over to regular price and pay up.  I will say that shows offering discounts will get my attention first, especially if I'm on the fence about wanting to see them.  It usually turns out to be a 50/50 ratio of discount & regularly priced tickets by the time I'm done.  I'm not looking to break the Broadway bank, demanding discounts for ALL the shows I see, but I'll take help where I can get it.

As pandemic regulations started to relax and vaccines & boosters for Covid-19 and Monkey Pox were poked up inside me (Hopefully my Polio Booster still holds), I decided it would be a good time to return!  I was excited by a good number of shows opening this Fall and surprised by a few shows that extended into my visiting dates.  I  excitedly headed over to the discount site and

THEN THIS HAPPENED


All of a sudden most of the discounts were listed as BOGO (Buy One, Get One).
WHAT THE FUCK?

Now, I have to be part of a couple to get a discount ticket to a show??
This is straight on discrimination against single people!
Honestly!  Why am I punished and denied a discount for not having a boyfriend/husband???
FUCK YOU, WHOMEVER DECIDES ON THESE DISCOUNTS FOR THESE SHOWS!!!
(Also, for the record, I have no interest in seeing this MJ show - discount or not.  It was just an example) 

There need to be laws to protect single people from this type of discrimination.
Why does it cost more to be alone?
This goes along with paying more for single occupancy on cruises and trips!

Besides, who else is gonna buy that single seat 1/3 into the row?

I can not type noisily enough to express how offended I am by these assholes.

Also, what if there are 3 people who want to see a show together?

Today, out of 20 discounts offered, 13 are BOGO and I am denied a 50% discount that couples get to enjoy. That's not right and I hope there is a lawyer reading this that will help me with a class action suit populated by all of us who are dying alone and enjoy theater, but don't get to enjoy the discounts offered to couples.


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