Friday, May 5, 2017

Gay of A Certain Age - Crown Me

So, 'member that post about the cute dentist who made me feel old by not knowing a certain doctor joke of a certain age..?  Well, let me tell you!  I was fortunate enough to have one of my crowns crumble right out of my mouth, (Jordan Almonds, much?) and I had to go back to the office.  I sit in my chair, ready to feel like Methuselah, again, when all of a sudden the assistant comes up to me and Dr. CutieGinger, DDS. and asked if we've ever heard of a show called THREE IS COMPANY.  Well I clutch my little metal ball chain what holds my bib in place, trying not to answer too quickly, thus seeming old AND desperate.  Then Dr. CutieGinger, DDS says, "THREE'S COMPANY? Yeah, of course I know it."  I feel a sudden rise; maybe he's not THAT young and I'm not THAT old.  Just to feel like I'm in with the Kool kidz, I says, "Yeah, I used to watch that every Tuesday night."  There's suddenly a cold, silent & awkward pause, as if someone had Fabreezed the room with Novocain.  Dr. CutieGinger, DDS breaks the silence with, "Oh, I watched old reruns on TV Land."  UGH!!  Did I ruin it?  Did I scare off the Kool Kidz by admitting I was a first-run watcher?  I just wished everything would fast forward and to the part where I'm quiet and his hands are in my mouth.

One minute later, I was sitting quietly with his hands in my mouth, when the assistant up and leaves the room to get something.  Then, the teensiest little hairs on my my ear start standing.  They were anticipating the brush of soft, warm breath as Dr. CutieGinger, DDS leans in and whispers in my ear, "You know, I asked him the other day, if he had heard the story of The Boy Who Cried Wolf.  He said he hadn't.  Can you believe that?"  I went all weak in the tongue! I couldn't believe it; Dr. CutieGinger, DDS actually shared a story with me about how young his assistant is.  There I was, feeling like I was in THE CLUB!  Was it the He's Younger Than Us Club? The I Know Old Stories Club?  The I Just Want To Kiss You Club???  I didn't know!  I didn't care!  I was just so excited that I felt like he wanted to win me over.  And he did!

Golly!  As a Gay of A Certain Age, I know how nice it feels when someone pulls you into their circle- never mind I have no idea what that circle is or if it even exists outside of that moment!  I also know that Dr. CutieGinger, DDS made me feel so good, that I didn't mind sitting in that chair for about 40 minutes with sharp metal things dancing around in it.  I also didn't mind that my insurance didn't cover replacement of a crown under five years of age.  I just knew that Dr. CutieGinger, DDS and I will always have The Boy Who Cried Wolf.

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