Friday, December 15, 2017

Gift Ideas For the Dying Alone - Jizzfrey Cleaners

The holidays are here and it's gift giving time, but what do you get for that friend who's going to die alone, and seems to have everything he wants?  

How about a guaranteed visit from JIZZFREY CLEANERS?  Who are these Jizzfrey guys?  
Well, they provide a service that I'm sure everybody would love.  After the gift is arranged, Jizzfrey Cleaners contacts the recipient and gives them a stylish death alert bracelet. At the moment of death, Jezzfrey Cleaners dispatches a crew to their home and "cleans" up. 

 If they had a dildo that was just right for them, but looks too big or slutty, our cleaners will take it! Two month old sheets on the bed?  Our Cleaners will change them!  
Was someone really into fishnet pantyhose, with personal photos to go along with that fetish, but uncomfortable with family and friends knowing?  Our cleaners will take it!  
Is there a "Make America Great Again" cap in the sock drawer?  Our cleaners will take it, spit on it and then burn it!  
A little too many visits to  Our cleaners will wipe that web history!

Basically, anything someone doesn't want their Mom to see, our cleaners will take it!

(It should be said; child porn, illicit drugs, dead bodies that are not the client, or anything of an illegal sort is exempt from this service)

If you haven't gotten me a gift, please consider getting me this!

"You're dead, you shouldn't have to sweat Home Sweet Home!"

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