Too Busy For Love - Shoe Business

I'd love to go to that nude brunch with you on that private Malibu beach your father left you in his will, but I'm too busy!  Not only do I have two shows today, but now I have to replace two pairs of shoes!  The show is a little demanding on footwear, what with all the running backwards, fight choreography and getting up off of knees action... I lost TWO pairs of shoes, so far this weekend!  Now any time I had for brunch or nuding must be spent on Hollywood boulevard shopping for shoes with hung over hookers and club kids! I have to hurry, too! I have a matinee!!
But thanks for the invite!

Single Perks - The Message of the Shoes

One of the perks of being single is that when I trip over shoes that are laying
on the living room floor, I think, "I should put those away."
Then, I'll move them or not and move on with the rest of the day.
Surely, if I had a husband and tripped over his shoes, it would become an event
filled with frustration and suspicion.  I wouldn't just think, "Oh, he or I should put those away."
and move on.  Instead, I would immediately begin to wonder how he could do that.
He knows I hate tripping over his stuff on the floor!  Why do I always have to pick up after him?
What is he trying to tell me by doing this?  Does he just not respect me anymore?
Why didn't I know I was marrying a slob?  He wasn't like this when we first moved in together.
He hid this from me.  And if he hid that from me, what else is he hiding?  Who did I marry?
Is our whole marriage a sham if he lied to me about who he is?  Why do I let myself be fooled by people who just want something from me?  Oh my god, is he going to quit his job so he doesn't have to work and we live on my paycheck while he lounges around all day?
Is that why he married me?  I'm such a fool!

No, when you live alone, you know your shoes are sending you no message.
I like that.  Them's the perks!