Single Perks - I Love the Movies!

One of my favorite things in the world is seeing someone's astonished face when I reveal that I love going to the movies alone.  Many people enjoy doing that, so I don't know what's astonishing about it, but I delight in their horror of even considering doing something like that alone.

I find it quite peaceful and enjoyable, sitting in a movie theater with no one at either side and no one trying to finish a conversation during the previews.  It also may be due to some trauma I experienced in my collage years when I was enjoying HOWARD'S END at the Fountain Theatre in Mesilla, New Mexico.

In those days, my home town of El Paso, Texas was not much an art house cinema haven, so there were many films we had to drive 45 minutes away, into another state, to see.  HOWARD'S END was one of them.  I was enjoying the movie very much (Not so much THE INHERITANCE on Broadway, based on this book) when it became very clear that two of the five of us were not enjoying the movie.  One of them actually went to the back of the house and took a snooze on the sofa by the snacks!  I spent the last half of the movie worrying that my friends were not having a good time.  Imagine how much more I would have enjoyed the movie if they weren't there.

Not much longer, two more friends and I went to see MILLER'S CROSSING on campus at the Student Union (Fortunately, the Union Programs Office was another source for artsy films).

Again, half way through this Coen Brothers movie, my two companions were making it very clear that they were not having a good time.  Their constant, very audible, sighs and obvious shifting in their seats was driving me nuts!  I, too, was having my patience tested by this particular Coen Brothers outing, but it was so hard to get into the movie and immerse myself in the world of gangsters with these two acting like they were on their third homily in a very special Sunday mass.  This time I was less worried for their amusement and more annoyed by their insistence that everyone around them know that they were bored and must suffer along with them. "NAY," I say, "NAY!"

Sure I've had great times seeing movies with groups of friends...

(...like when we went to see GODZILLA

and got photo-bombed by director Gareth Edwards & friend!)

But I find it much easier to enjoy myself, when I'm by myself.

To prove I'm not just some weirdo with a blog, HERE'S scientific proof, by way of Kayleigh Dray of STYLIST, that going to the movies alone is actually good for you!

Going to a movie and not worrying about anyone else but the shirtless guy on screen... Them's the perks!

Single Perks - One and Done!

On my recent trip to New York, I threw together an impromptu Sunday brunch with some of my NY favorites.

Two invitees were immediate yeses, while one was a tentative maybe. 

You see, the maybe, whom I’ll call Erin, ‘cause that’s her name, was having a hard time giving a solid yes because her husband wasn’t feeling well,

while their child was just getting over an illness, which was just part of a vicious cycle of sickness being passed from person to person in their household.

It was then that it occurred to me how fortunate I am to be single in these times of contagion.  You see, when I get sick, I stay home, nurse myself, then get right back out there.

These unfortunate people who have a mate, or worse a mate and a child (or maybe even children!) have to get sick, pass it on, nurse those who caught it, then get sick again!

Sure, I’ve whined about not having anyone to bring me soup & gluten-free crackers and put the Netflix on Black Mirror for me,

but I’d much rather endure a few days of that than the weeks of recycled disease that comes with another person breathing the same apartment air!

Here's the brunch club: me, Thom Storr, Erin Quill and Richard Cramer

As you can see from the photo above, Erin made it to brunch, but I'll tell you; 

not having to worry that you'll have have to endure a cycle of germs constantly flying around you for weeks because you live alone... Them's the perks!

Single Perks - Hot Dates

I know a few of you were worried, so here's your relief!  I got my new Colt Hairy Chested Men calendar for 2017!  Again, with the help of Amazon Prime, I have my calendar of hot mens to hang in my closet to help me keep track as the days just slip away, along with my youth.  As you remember, last year I had a mini-crisis worrying that I'd have to start the new year without a hot man dangling in my closet.  ...And of course, the great thing about being single is not having anyone around getting jealous of the paper hunks, worrying that I wish I was living with them instead.  This year, I went with the hairy chested mens because, while I do enjoy a hot man in leather, I like full color photos, as opposed to the all black & white of the leather calendar.  I like the color because it adds an element of personality to the fantasy.  Also, don't think it's not driving me nuts that I have to commit to one type of guy for 12 months!  I think the the hairy chested variety will provide a more diverse collection than the restrictive leather offerings.  Now, all I have to do is hope that I don't flip a page and have to start any month off with a dead porn star looking at me!

I have hairy chested men in my closet to help start my day with a smile, them's the perks!

Single Perks - No Waiting For Me!

Yesterday, I visited Grand Central Station.  Then, after a lovely tour of the New York Botanical Gardens,

up in the Bronx, where greens were the greenest and quiet was the order of the day, I saw WAITRESS on the Broadway.

To start, I wasn't too big a fan of the movie.  I thought it was okay, but very uneven.  The musical on the Broadway reminded me of that fact, but even though a lot here feels like it shouldn't work, it does.  I don't think the sound of the songs necessarily fit the setting of the show, deep South, but emotionally, they're great.  There are little surprises, vocally, that remind me that I love Jessie Mueller.  I fell for her after reluctantly seeing BEAUTIFUL and then, loving the show.  She has some great moments.  Christopher Fitzgerald steals every moment he is in, even when thanking an audience member for stopping a fallen mug from rolling off stage, as he's in the middle of singing his song. (Gravity was high on that stage last night, even though something fell unintentionally four or more times, each time was handled very well.) Fitzgerald exudes that confidence on stage that compels the audience to trust every moment with him; he is present, observant and in charge.

I won't recount the story, except to say that our dear waitress finds herself pregnant by the very husband she fears and hates.  She stops short of reciting the recipe for Unwanted Baby Pie. 

It just supports my feelings that it is better to be alone than be in a horrible and painful relationship.
While she waits tables, she's also waiting to break free.  I don't have to wait, I'm already free to live and love as I please. Them's the perks!

Single Perks - Picking My Seat

I love going to the theater!  The only thing I love more than that, is having a great seat at the theater! Being single makes it so much easier to find a seat!  I don't mind seeing shows on my own because my ticket purchase time is cut dramatically when I'm picking a seat for only myself.  I don't have to worry about anyone else's preferences, and very often there are single seats orchestra center, whereas the only pairing of seats will be way off to the side or rear balcony.  For example, when I saw SPAMALOT for the first time, I went with my friends Dana & Eddie.

When I was purchasing tickets for three, the only available ones were off to the side in the mezzanine.  Normally, I wouldn't take these seats and look for another day, but this arrangement was day specific, so I took those seats at full price.  When we were seated I was dubious, then I got angry once the curtain went up and revealed that about a third of the set was blocked from our view.  I had a hard time enjoying the show because I was so angry that they would even sell these seats at all, especially at full price!  Luckily, my friend Jeff was later cast in the show, so I had occasion to go back and see it again- in a fabulous single seat, orchestra center.  I enjoyed the show much more, then.

So, last night, last minute, I popped up to the TKTS window, saw BLACKBIRD listed, asked  if there were any good seats for the show and the lady said yes, (I have opted to not to see any show for an evening because there was not a good seat, even at half price) and by 8:00 pm I was seated just a few feet from Jeff Daniels and Michelle Williams as they performed.  Seeing an intense play like this from the fourth row; them's the perks!

Here's my mini-review:

Blackbird by David Harrower is a rough play about damaged people, only getting more damaged. The show is in previews, so this isn't exactly the final product. I think the preview time is still needed, because I felt while the acting was really good, there still some developing to occur. Right now, I feel like Michelle is not committing to the actions of her character, mostly because those actions are a clear detriment to said character. It's also because those actions are contradictory to her character's reasons for being there. Her physicality is great, though. These are not easy roles.  Also, I think the tension was a little slack, but I think in a week or so, this is going to be top notch.   I loved the set, too!

Single Perks - Date With a Colt- UPDATED

I haven't received many concerned letters, so I'll tell you...
The last day of use is coming for my Colt Hairy Men 2015 Calendar!
I checked Amazon.com and they were out of stock with a promise to send one as soon as they were back in stock. That is UNACCEPTABLE!!  I must confess I got in quite a panic.  What am I supposed to do, take down this calendar on Thursday night and then start 2016 with no imaginary boyfriend???  Do they have razor blades & cyanide pills in stock?  They might as well just send those, instead! .  Why did I wait so long to order my new imaginary boyfriends?  Who else is buying these calendars?  You (all?) will be glad to learn that I did a little extra clicking and found another Colt Calendar that will be delivered today or tomorrow, via the magic of Amazon Prime.  Yes, thanks to my flexible tastes, 2016 will be a year's worth of imaginary dates with men in Leather.

Yeah, since I don't like to preview and be surprised every month, I'll have to assume the entire calendar is in black & white.  I prefer color, but don't be a pussy!  Take those grey tones!  Yeah, you like that chiaroscuro effect, don't you?  Yeah.  Hot!

Because I'm single, I can keep a calendar of leather clad/naked men in my closet without having somebody get jealous of paper rivals.  I don't have some insecure whiny puss saying, "Why do you have to look at them? Aren't I enough?"  I'd have to respond, "Frankly, unless your body & face morph every first day of the month, then, no.  No, you are not enough. However, your lack of shape-shifting ability is not the turn off, it's your inability to separate fantasy from reality.  Just because I oggle a photograph of a guy ( a photograph that is probably of someone that existed ten years ago and majorly touched up) doesn't mean I want to drop everything and be with him.  Who is standing next to me? Who am I living with?  If that's not what I wanted, it wouldn't be this calendar that drove me away from you."  Because I am single, I don't have to deal with that and I can enjoy my calendar, porn, movies, television, magazines, photos, walks outside and my unconscious dreams without having to deal with any of that.  Them's the perks!

UPDATE!

Got it!

Single Perks - I'll Tell Goofy You Say "Hi"!

I told a co-worker of mine that I'm planning to take a day off and go to Disneyland before my pass gets blocked out for the holiday season.  She looked at me with envious eyes, if not for taking the day off, then for going to Disneyland.  She hasn't gone as much as she used to.  You see, she's married and has children.  Most would agree that she and her family are Disney's target market, but with the recent hiking of admission, starting at about a no frills $100 a person, a park visit is a rare treat nowadays.  Poor married couples with children! $400 dollars for a single day AND single park is scary, whereas $100 for a single gay is not so bad, and less than a Broadway show!  Lucky me!  I bought an annual pass and it will pay for itself in 6 visits!  See, as a single gay, I don't have to worry about how much I'm going to have to sacrifice to help other have a nice time.  With the annual pass, all I really have to worry about is what I'm going to eat!  Disneylanmd has helped me realize that a little splurging can be enjoyed more often than if I had a partner and/or children.  I can do this whenever I want; them's the perks!

Single Perks - Out & About

I'm reminiscing about the time I went to Madrid for my birthday
and now I have a hankering to travel somewhere that I've never been,
like Rio, Thailand or Bismarck, North Dakota! (one of my goals in life is to visit all of the United States and I've only got 10 to go- right down the middle of the country).
Being single, I have the advantage of just picking up and going when it suits me & my schedule alone!  That's right, I don't have to worry about a partner's work schedule or obligation to their dog from a previous relationship.  I don't have to take into consideration someone else's commitment to be in someone's wedding.  All I have to worry about is my DVR's recording capacity!

You've read me whine about the trials of traveling alone, but now, I've asked my friend Google about single gay travel, and a few things popped up!  One of the most promising is this one, gaytravel.com. They have taken the time to put something together for gay singles!  ...And while summer may be a soon-to-be memory, I can take off as soon as next week if I please, to squeeze myself in there!

Also, if I happen to end up in one of those places that has a naughty room in the bar, lucky me can take part with no worries of cheating because I'm single & free; them's the perks!

Single Perks - Feasting My Eyes

Golly, it's a good thing I'm single, otherwise I may not be able to oggle to my heart's content!
I don't have to work too hard to convince others that I do enjoy an eyeful of hunky man, so when I'm in the vicinity of such, I don't turn away shyly and if I happen to have my camera with me, I'll snap a few pics.  I've only had on one lone term relationship and one of the things I truly appreciated was that my man didn't mind my involuntary eye candy consumption.  The first few times together, we'd be driving and a Chris Hemsworth type would jog by shirtless (a regular occurrence in WeHo, almost as reliable as the bus schedule...) so, I'd turn away from the site, worried that I would offend my beau by glancing at a hot piece o' beef in onion skin shorts.  To my relief he said, "You can look."  Which, of course, I did and by then, he was gone.  CURSES!
I really like that my guy knew that my looking at a hot guy in no way diminished my admiration for him.  He wasn't jealous at all.  He knew he didn't have to be.  Everything I had worth giving, I was giving to him.  He thought that ignoring the obvious was as ridiculous as I do.  I know his looking at a hunky guy doesn't mean that he's not into me.  If I was to feel threatened by that, it would be because I felt insecure about our relationship and the presence of some unknowing hot guy would be the least of my problems. The important thing for me is that if I'm in a healthy relationship, the site of Joe Manganiello walking towards us isn't going to make me or my mate suddenly end our relationship, as if Joe were some kind of Medusa. I know that I won't own my mate's eyes or mind or feelings and he certainly wouldn't own mine! If I ever felt the need to control those things about him (or control any of him, for that matter) then I would know that the relationship is unhealthy.
Fortunately, I'm single and I don't have to worry about any of that. So, until I find a fellow wide-eyed mate, I'll keep enjoying the view, and try not to get my eye poked out. Them's the perks!

By the way, I've been in the presence of hot mens on numerous occasions, as my camera can attest, and NOTHING has happened with any of them. So there! (saddy face)

Single Perks - I Pooled It Together

Here are some more pics from the pool party I'm glad I didn't talk myself out of attending...

It's a good thing I'm single, otherwise I might feel guilty enjoying these pics!

Them's the perks!

Single Perks - Photo Flirt

So doing the show as I do, I am pleased that some people enjoy the show so much,
that they stick around for pictures afterwards.  The Angels and I will come up stairs and pose for pics with enthusiastic audience members, some of which are handsome, hunky fellas.
Being single sure has its perks!  Because I don't have a man to call my own, I am free to flirt shamelessly with whom I please.  Add to that, my slutty character and I can flirt to my heart's content quite easily!

I don't know what it is about drag appeal, but I don't even have to try!  Guys will come up to me with a huge smile and grab my hands and rub them all over them.  It's very nice.  It kind of makes me forget the heels I'm wearing that pinch me like an angry Grandma in church.  Of course, I carry my little camera with me to capture the fun and "spank bank" deposits.

It's all innocent fun, I've never really hooked up with anyone who's made advances to me in my character drag... that's just something I don't think I'm ready for...
Meanwhile, I'll enjoy the tight hugs, the involuntary hand explorations and some sweet chaste kisses with no guilt whatsoever- them's the perks of being single!

Single Perks - The Message of the Shoes

One of the perks of being single is that when I trip over shoes that are laying
on the living room floor, I think, "I should put those away."
Then, I'll move them or not and move on with the rest of the day.
Surely, if I had a husband and tripped over his shoes, it would become an event
filled with frustration and suspicion.  I wouldn't just think, "Oh, he or I should put those away."
and move on.  Instead, I would immediately begin to wonder how he could do that.
He knows I hate tripping over his stuff on the floor!  Why do I always have to pick up after him?
What is he trying to tell me by doing this?  Does he just not respect me anymore?
Why didn't I know I was marrying a slob?  He wasn't like this when we first moved in together.
He hid this from me.  And if he hid that from me, what else is he hiding?  Who did I marry?
Is our whole marriage a sham if he lied to me about who he is?  Why do I let myself be fooled by people who just want something from me?  Oh my god, is he going to quit his job so he doesn't have to work and we live on my paycheck while he lounges around all day?
Is that why he married me?  I'm such a fool!

No, when you live alone, you know your shoes are sending you no message.
I like that.  Them's the perks!