The Trials of Man Solo: Broadway Producers Hate Single People!

 

It's no secret that I've been having an affair with Broadway for many years, and we've been getting along famously... Until now.

I have not visited the lovely New York City or Broadway since January 2020 and I can barely stand to be away for so long.  I have missed entire runs of shows...

The way my visits usually go is that I'll see an announcement for a show that really captures my fancy and I build a theater-going weekend around that show.  Because I am not a rich man, I check my usual airlines for the best (cheapest)  flights that will maximize my time there.  Lately, I've taken to catching a red-eye after work on a Wednesday, getting me in early Thursday morning.  Then, I go to my friend's apartment (Again, not rich and avoiding prohibitively high hotel rates) take a good nap and wake up refreshed and ready to catch a Thursday night show, leading into a weekend of 5 shows, until I leave on Sunday night.  

Let's rewind to when I find a show I REALLY wanna see;

Usually, I head directly to Theatremania.com

They offer great discounts for shows that wanna boost audience attendance. In my case it's discounts for brand new shows that are just starting out and can put people in seats and, hopefully, get some good word-of-mouth advertising going.  If the show I want is not there, I use the site to get regularly priced tickets, which are going up and up.  Then, I'll go back and see what other shows I haven't seen (or I really enjoyed enough to see a second time,) are offering discounts and continue building my weekend.  Sometimes, I miss the window for the discount offer and head over to regular price and pay up.  I will say that shows offering discounts will get my attention first, especially if I'm on the fence about wanting to see them.  It usually turns out to be a 50/50 ratio of discount & regularly priced tickets by the time I'm done.  I'm not looking to break the Broadway bank, demanding discounts for ALL the shows I see, but I'll take help where I can get it.

As pandemic regulations started to relax and vaccines & boosters for Covid-19 and Monkey Pox were poked up inside me (Hopefully my Polio Booster still holds), I decided it would be a good time to return!  I was excited by a good number of shows opening this Fall and surprised by a few shows that extended into my visiting dates.  I  excitedly headed over to the discount site and

THEN THIS HAPPENED

All of a sudden most of the discounts were listed as BOGO (Buy One, Get One).

WHAT THE FUCK?

Now, I have to be part of a couple to get a discount ticket to a show??

This is straight on discrimination against single people!

Honestly!  Why am I punished and denied a discount for not having a boyfriend/husband???

FUCK YOU, WHOMEVER DECIDES ON THESE DISCOUNTS FOR THESE SHOWS!!!

(Also, for the record, I have no interest in seeing this MJ show - discount or not.  It was just an example) 

There need to be laws to protect single people from this type of discrimination.
Why does it cost more to be alone?

This goes along with paying more for single occupancy on cruises and trips!

Besides, who else is gonna buy that single seat 1/3 into the row?

I can not type noisily enough to express how offended I am by these assholes.

Also, what if there are 3 people who want to see a show together?

Today, out of 20 discounts offered, 13 are BOGO and I am denied a 50% discount that couples get to enjoy. That's not right and I hope there is a lawyer reading this that will help me with a class action suit populated by all of us who are dying alone and enjoy theater, but don't get to enjoy the discounts offered to couples.

This Is Why I Am Single - The Unflattering Shot To The Heart 2

 

It happens to everyone on social media, every so often, but this one is so egregious, I just had to share...

You might remember that time I posted about my photographer friend, Dusti Cunningham, posting a pic of me from an event where I was squished awkwardly between two people... if not HERE'S a reminder.

After that, I made peace with the fact that I can not control every image of me that appears in social media.  I also made peace with my less than International Male model body and the many angles by which it can appear to be larger or weirder in places than it actually is... 

Even that didn't prepare me for this horror...

Speaking of horror, it all started with me popping over to the Ace Hotel theater to see THEY/THEM

with muh DABs, Dennis Hensley & Glenn Gaylord.  It is a horror movie with a twist, wherein maybe the LGBTQIAs aren't the victims we're used to seeing. (Mini Review: While it didn't break any new ground except for turning the tables, and isn't a bold new take on slasher movies that some hoped it might be, it was an entertaining enough gathering of Dead Meats and kills, much like the many other slasher movies it means to emulate.  It could have been gorier, but I thought is was alright.)

Anyway, it was a the OUTFEST closing night feature and the theater was abuzz with film makers, the movie's cast (including Kevin Bacon) and a bunch of gays. One of the gays there that I know was Greg Hernandez of GREG IN HOLLYWOOD.  We shared our excitement for the movie we were about to see and caught up on recent stuffs and then Greg snapped and posted this pic...

Now, I'm not angry or upset with Greg for posting it... I just thought it was worth mentioning how unflattering it is.  First, there's the harsh shadows and highlights, offering no forgiveness in facial features or body bumps.  Then there's the indeterminant look on my face, like I was puzzled to be happy... The pièce de résistance has to be the "Bun in the Oven" appearance of my tumtums.  I know I have a belly, and sometimes I have the presence of mind to suck it in when there's a camera pointed at me... in this case, I scooted up to the edge of my seat, but turned & slouched a little back to keep from blocking Dennis in the picture and, apparently, carried a child to term.  I look like I'm pregnant, along with the boobies for feeding.   Honestly, I'm not fit, but this is a bit exaggerated because of the weird way I contorted my body for this shot.  I see this and ask myself, how am I ever going to find someone who's attracted to me, if I keep forgetting my America's Next Top Model challenges training??

Was this really my best shot this week?  UGHHH!

Again, I'm looking at this with humor, because if we take this social media stuff too seriously, we could really fuck ourselves up obsessing over every post that includes us, that we can't control.  I try to choose to enjoy the moment and worry about secondary factors, later.  Like 3 hours later, when I see the photo and OOF, it hits me like a punch in the ample gut! ..but in a good way, like in the movie DODGEBALL.  Also, if this pic scares off any potential suitors, then so be it, who needs someone who's gonna obsess over their images AND mine, to boot?  Ain't got time for that nonsense. 

Meanwhile, I posted this pic,

Which Greg might have said he found quite flattering,  You're welcome!!
I hope you get a husband, a rescue pup,  a subscription to Hulu/Disney + and a fancy house on a private beach with great lighting from this picture, GREG!!!!!

(That may sound mean and resentful, but wouldn't it be neato if you actually did?)

From the Interwebs - The Sound of Fading Love

 

No Day of Independence

I have no intention of getting married any time soon,

but it horrifies me that they are coming after same-sex marriage next.

As we watch our poisoned Supreme Court

do away with Abortion Rights, 

you should realize that 

that is just the beginning.

They've grabbed the brass ring,

now they're going to dismantle the entire carousel.

 

MisDrag Pride-GameCon 4: WeHo Pride 2022

Here's the thing,
I thought I might be riding the Best in Drag Show float in the parade,
but I never got the call.  After crying in the corner of my apartment for 6.9 hours,
I decide to go the parade, anyway, but not in drag.

So, while Drag Season is still going on, and I wasn't in drag,
I still got some fun shots of folks in drag...
and some hotties, neither in drag nor shirts.

Best In Drag Show

JoJo Siwa

The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence

...And that is the conclusion of the West Hollywood Gay Pride Parade.

The Los Angeles Gay Pride parade was the next weekend, but I was too pooped to go to that one.

Also, in case you feel like Drag Season is over just because I didn't drag up for the parade...

I had a self-tape audition I had to do in drag, early morning, before work, on the next day.

There's no escaping the drag!

(I didn't get the commercial, either)