Gay Of A Certain Age - Olivia Newton Gone

 Ew, I totally turned those smiles upside down.

You know that saying, "You don't miss your water, 'til the well runs dry"? 

(Maybe that's just a cool song on the MARRIED TO THE MOB soundtrack)

I had an incident... it all starts with, what I thought was, an affinity for the movie XANADU.

A good portion of my closest friends have bonded over multiple viewings of the very flawed, but completely delicious movie.  After a few in-home viewings, we were all excited that Outfest, the yearly LGBTQ film festival, listed XANADU as their sing-a-long feature back in 2002.

As you can see, there was a huge group of us ready to sing-a-long to all of those great songs on the soundtrack! (not many of us were ready to match the very high vocals of Jeff Lynne and most chose to sit those songs out... not me!  My apologies, still to those who sat around me that night).

We were so excited, Muh Dab, Dennis Hensley, had t-shirts made!

We're XanaDUDES!

Five years later, Douglas Carter Beane had the nerve to take this movie and make it a stage show. I'm glad he did, it was very lovingly hilarious and I built a Broadway visit around seeing the show.

I was also excited to git muh picture made with star, Cheyenne Jackson!

(Look, he's TOUCHING me!)

Two years after that, I got to share the joy with my friends as we traveled all the way to Orange County to catch the Tour of XANADU THE MUSICAL!

We were so excited, we took another shot with me as Sonny and Dennis as Kira, 
but I looked cutest in this shot.

I'm sure there were a few more in-home viewings, 

but in 2015, we jumped at the chance to see it again

in the Sunnyside Cemetery, in Long Beach.

I'm not a fan of cemetery viewings, 

because I find them very uncomfortable

and difficult to enjoy;

it was not an issue this time around.

Also, before the screening, 

there was an awesome cover band 

This guy was ready to match Jeff Lynne...

Then, August 8, 2022

Olivia Newton-John died.
I thought, "Awwww, that's sad." and moved on with my day.

It hit Dennis pretty hard.
While I understood his reaction, 

I just didn't feel the same way...
She was a celebrity, among many we lost this year.

On September 9, luckily my Friday off,

I joined Dennis & former DAB, Brett Freedman

for a farewell to Olivia screening of 
XANADU

at the New Beverly Cinema.

It was well attended for a 2 pm screening.

...And, we ran into friends

Tom Ford and

John Cantwell, whom I love love love as

Love Connie.

During the movie,
I was having a lovely time,

feeling a little sad for our loss.

Then, this scene, at the big opening of the club at the end happened.

Suddenly, at the moment caught in this pic,

 I was holding back a torrent of tears!
Just seeing her sing her number with such a joyful ease,

I realized she was gone.
She had always been a delight when I'd seen her perform

on variety shows, talk show guest spots and even crappy movies.

She was such a sweet ball of sunshine

that I hadn't registered had tanned much of my growing up.

I feel like I can remember the very first time

I heard Have You Ever Been Mellow as a mere child...

Of course, I can't actually, 

but I remember that song and how it made me feel,

how it STILL makes me feel. 

Her indelible performance in GREASE

(which I watched on a loop on Showtime and many more times since)

touches me, still.

There was a huge bubble on my heart

 filled with ONJ

that I had no idea was there

and it just burst right in that moment.

(I'm still getting a little misty eyed while writing this)

She was a sneaky one, that Olivia...

So, now I really get Dennis' reaction,

he was just more in tune with his love for her

than I.

Now, I understand that for many,

we not only lost a

greatly talented, sweet and lovely woman,

but also a chunk of what made us who we are;

we feel as if we've lost bit of our childhood,

a sweet & loving bit.

Farewell Olivia,

and if possible from where you are,

Keep me suspended in time with you

Don't let this moment die...

This Is Why I Am Single - The Unflattering Shot To The Heart 2

 

It happens to everyone on social media, every so often, but this one is so egregious, I just had to share...

You might remember that time I posted about my photographer friend, Dusti Cunningham, posting a pic of me from an event where I was squished awkwardly between two people... if not HERE'S a reminder.

After that, I made peace with the fact that I can not control every image of me that appears in social media.  I also made peace with my less than International Male model body and the many angles by which it can appear to be larger or weirder in places than it actually is... 

Even that didn't prepare me for this horror...

Speaking of horror, it all started with me popping over to the Ace Hotel theater to see THEY/THEM

with muh DABs, Dennis Hensley & Glenn Gaylord.  It is a horror movie with a twist, wherein maybe the LGBTQIAs aren't the victims we're used to seeing. (Mini Review: While it didn't break any new ground except for turning the tables, and isn't a bold new take on slasher movies that some hoped it might be, it was an entertaining enough gathering of Dead Meats and kills, much like the many other slasher movies it means to emulate.  It could have been gorier, but I thought is was alright.)

Anyway, it was a the OUTFEST closing night feature and the theater was abuzz with film makers, the movie's cast (including Kevin Bacon) and a bunch of gays. One of the gays there that I know was Greg Hernandez of GREG IN HOLLYWOOD.  We shared our excitement for the movie we were about to see and caught up on recent stuffs and then Greg snapped and posted this pic...

Now, I'm not angry or upset with Greg for posting it... I just thought it was worth mentioning how unflattering it is.  First, there's the harsh shadows and highlights, offering no forgiveness in facial features or body bumps.  Then there's the indeterminant look on my face, like I was puzzled to be happy... The pièce de résistance has to be the "Bun in the Oven" appearance of my tumtums.  I know I have a belly, and sometimes I have the presence of mind to suck it in when there's a camera pointed at me... in this case, I scooted up to the edge of my seat, but turned & slouched a little back to keep from blocking Dennis in the picture and, apparently, carried a child to term.  I look like I'm pregnant, along with the boobies for feeding.   Honestly, I'm not fit, but this is a bit exaggerated because of the weird way I contorted my body for this shot.  I see this and ask myself, how am I ever going to find someone who's attracted to me, if I keep forgetting my America's Next Top Model challenges training??

Was this really my best shot this week?  UGHHH!

Again, I'm looking at this with humor, because if we take this social media stuff too seriously, we could really fuck ourselves up obsessing over every post that includes us, that we can't control.  I try to choose to enjoy the moment and worry about secondary factors, later.  Like 3 hours later, when I see the photo and OOF, it hits me like a punch in the ample gut! ..but in a good way, like in the movie DODGEBALL.  Also, if this pic scares off any potential suitors, then so be it, who needs someone who's gonna obsess over their images AND mine, to boot?  Ain't got time for that nonsense. 

Meanwhile, I posted this pic,

Which Greg might have said he found quite flattering,  You're welcome!!
I hope you get a husband, a rescue pup,  a subscription to Hulu/Disney + and a fancy house on a private beach with great lighting from this picture, GREG!!!!!

(That may sound mean and resentful, but wouldn't it be neato if you actually did?)

Getting Out - Out Festive

Last night muh DAB, Glenn and I had a nice dinner at Basix and walked up to the Director's Guild of America to catch an OUTFEST movie.

As you know, sometimes I have to battle myself to get me to leave my apartment, but this time, I was lured away by the promise of a movie based on a real murder in the gay porn world!  Exciting, no?

The movie was KING COBRA, starring an produced by James Franco, who was also the recipient of the inaugural James Schamus Ally Award.  It's the story of a porn producer murdered by two rival porn guys, all centering around porn cutie, Brent Corrigan. The movie was sexy without being gratuitous. I enjoyed it for the most part, but I was really annoyed by the really bad lighting throughout the movie.  Muh DAB, Glenn, didn't mind it and said it was prolly an effort at making the movie somewhat film noir.  Meanwhile, I was bothered that I kept seeing the well light extra behind the silhouettes of the main characters eating sushi. 

There was a Q & A afterwards, but the audience did not get to ask questions, so I remained stymied in learning what the filmmaker was thinking, or if they had a REALLY low budget.  Molly Ringwald is in the movie, but you'd hardly know it, unless you know the outline of her hair really well.   In the end, as I said, I enjoyed the movie despite the lighting.

What I enjoyed more was seeing a few folks I haven't seen in awhile, like Robert and Dyana, who generously escorted us in. Josh Schiowitz, whom I don't see much, since he lives in New York.  I  also got to see Erik, whom I haven't seen in years!  He recently joined the Facebook and messaged me when he saw my post saying I was there.  It was a really nice, if brief, reunion.  So, if I didn't see a perfect movie, at least I has a perfectly delightful time seeing old friends.  I'm glad I got out!

Gay of A Certain Age - Paris Done Burnt Up

Friday night I happened to be the lucky recipient of tickets to a sold out screening at OUTFEST 2016.  Muh DAB, Steven K, decided he had too much going on this weekend and had to let something go.  This was it.  It was serendipitous, because I was going to accompany muh DAB, Dennis, to dinner and wait with him to see if he got a ticket on standby.  Thanks to Steven, he didn't have to wait and I had an unexpected movie treat.  To be honest I wasn't very interested in the movie, STRIKE A POSE because, while I enjoyed watching TRUTH OR DARE, I just didn't buy Madonna's story, so this follow up would probably be entertaining, but prolly just as airy.  

I didn't think it so truthful...

On the other hand...

Immediately, I was intrigued when one of the film's subjects, (the documentary centers on the male dancers of that monumental tour), who was introducing the movie said something like "At least we knew this one was being made."  I thought, "How could you have cameras on you throughout the entire tour and not know a documentary was being made?"  then I thought a few more question marks, "?????".   Well, my knowledgable friend Ray, a dancer who has toured a few times told me, that there are always cameras and you don't know whose they are, you assume they're your friends' and sometimes they're your own, but it's possible that they didn't know that everything that was shot could end up in a documentary.  So the documentary unfolds and I found myself wrapped in the lives of these dancers after the tour and how expectations of continued success and popularity are met... or not. I was very touched.

I found my eyes most moist toward the end of the film when the dancers reunite for the first time in many years.  All but one straighty are gays of a certain age and their vulnerability with each other had me in tears.  Each one has their own battle and at that dinner table they find they have allies in each other.  I couldn't help but identify with some of those battles, as a Gay of A Certain Age who despite being basically happy, did/does have few expectations of how my life would be that have not come to fruition.  I really felt like I was seated at their table.

So, I am a fan of this documentary because it provides a much more real story than was projected in TRUTH OR DARE.  These are men/performers/humans I can identify with and root for.  I also appreciate that it wasn't a Madonna bash-fest, although there are a few revelations I had no clue about.  I hope you get a chance to see it.