This Is Why I Am Single - Words With Fish

As a Dying Alone, one of my favorite pastimes is playing Words With Friends with friends.

Sometimes I play Words With Friends with friends' friends.

And I've actually met people through this game, like Dan from Melbourne, who's my friend Dennis Hensley's friend.

We played the word game for a year or so, then I met him in Melbourne when I went to Australia.  We had a great time!  ...Except a few hours after I ate a glutenful bun at Huxtabuger...

It wasn't their fault. We went there specifically because they had gluten friendly buns, but in the excitement and gabbing I forgot to order the bun... It's a messy story you really don't need to read about.  The point is, I met Dan on Words With Friends, then I flew across the world and met him in person.  If you would like to see other delicious Australian men I met/saw in Australia, click here.

All that is to say that I'm open to meeting new people, even on a game platform.
Cut to me seeing I have a message from a new opponent named John W Nicholson.  He was a very friendly Military man who was playing with me all the way from Saudi Arabia!  Somehow he figured I was gay and confessed to being gay, himself, which isn't easy in the Military.

Of course, the first thing I did was look him up on the Facebooks.  He had a page.  Then, I Googled him and he popped up right away.  I read his story.  I thought this had a slight chance of being real.  One of the things that kept me in was that his English was exceptionally good.  I conversed with him as I would any single gay guy in the Military.

The second set of texts confirmed my suspicions.  He got too friendly too fast, hoping to prey on my Dying Alone loneliness.  I decided to have fun and continue with this Catfish game... and the Words With Friends 'cause I was winning.  (Disclaimer: I'm one to talk about grammar & spelling, please excuse my errors in texting - I have fat, impatient fingers) (Also, if you're having trouble reading the texts, click the pic and it'll enlarge)

 His English skills also plummeted, so I figured this was a team;  someone well spoken to get 'em on the hook and another to keep 'em on until it's time to reel them in. Anyway, I decided to find out, once and for all what his deal was, so I began to tease.

I wanted him to know I am frivolous with this newly won money!

I liked that he didn't seem to mind that I totally ignored his texts that gave away his game too soon.

 I was really having a fun time.

Then I turned into that girl in Kill Bill,
O-Ren Ishii: You didn't think it was gonna be that easy, did you?

That damn Wikipedia page!!

I was amazed that he thought that there was still a chance for this visit to happen.
So why not give a little more hope?

Then, I got bored and deleted him.

It's interesting to me that people fall for these "too good to be true" connections so often.

Can't people tell right away that the compliments and kind words are not real?

Who pops out of the blue to tell you they like you??

Or are some of these guys real?

I thought the This Is Why I Am Single was because the only guys who hit me up are fake guys, but it might actually be...

This Is Why I Am Single; I'm immediately suspicious of anyone who shows interest in me.

I'm totally right about this one, but I have probably scared off a few guys who were actually into me because I refused to believe it was real.  Actually, I think there's a good chunk of my friends I made work hard for the friendship because I found it difficult to believe that they really liked me and valued my friendship.  Wow, THIS is the big reveal for me- not that this Gay Military Guy is a Catfisher, but that I could be scaring away the all wrong fish!

That's just awful.

Well, apparently I have some work to do on myself, so I'll leave you with this...

Real John William Nicholson Jr, if you're reading this and you're really gay, hit me up.  I think you're cute.