Sunday, April 17, 2016

Too Busy for Love - The Come Down

 As you may know I've been terribly busy.  It seems that for the past couple of weeks I've been off on some adventure or other; I went to Puerto Vallarta to perform

..and oggle men

Then, the weekend after I returned, I went to Palm Springs to celebrate Muh DAB, Brett's birthday

..And oggle men.

Then the weekend after that I performed at BONKERZ

and oggled men

And the very next day I drove down to San Diego with my friend, Ray to see our lovely friend, Eden Espinosa in a new musical, RAIN

It was a really great show and, of course, Eden was great in it!

In between, weekends, my nights were filled with work meetings, dinner with friends, shooting an appearance in a webseries and a charity Bingo night for Muh DAB, Mike

(The lovely, Catherine Mary Stewart was in attendance)

Just yesterday, I was at a pool party, followed immediately by 4 hours of GEARS OF WAR with my friends, Geoff & Dave.

Today is really the first day I've actually been in my home with nowhere to rush off to, or prepare for.  Then it hit me, I am depressed.  It's a crazy kind of sadness that makes me feel really alone.  I blame the TRANSPARENT theme song.  I'm watching the show as I finally unpack from Palm Springs, put drag stuff away for a few weeks and prep my laundry.  Every thirty minutes I am hit with a new wave of sadness.  The show itself is amazing, but these are not happy people and I can't help pulling up feelings of sadness or frustration along with each of them.  
Don't be worried!  I know myself well enough to know that this is the come down after a very long string of events and happenings and scheduled fun.  It takes a little while for my mind and heart to wrap around the sudden absence of people.  It's almost like my mind and heart have to make up reasons that I am not surrounded by people having fun or receiving applause.  It's perfectly natural.  And to tell the truth, I do want to wallow in a little sadness and feel feelings that are stored away from other people.  It's good to feel, even if the feelings themselves are awful.
You may also know that muh DABs are legion, so I'm not getting a full day of wallowing in Transfolk & laundry.  Now, I am going for yogurt with muh DAB, Glenn, then I'm going over the hill to FEAR THE WALKING DEAD with my friends Billy & Barry, whom I haven't seen in weeks!  I really don't mind feeling blue, but I'm just too busy!!!

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