Sunday, November 12, 2017

Gay of A Certain Age - The Big Five Oh! - My Last Aussie Day

Suddenly it was the last day of my birthday trip.  That morning, I thought I'd make it a full day of site seeing and maybe catch a bus for a day trip out to a fancy beach, so I'd have to be out of my room and on the street by 9:00 AM.  That's what I thought, what actually happened was I was so knocked down and dehydrated by my body's liquidation sale, because of the glutenful burger bun and copious servings of hard apple cider, that I didn't get out of bed until 1:00 PM.  I actually forced myself out of the bed and into the shower because I didn't want to miss the entire day because I was being wimpy.  

Once out of the hotel, I walked over to the trolly stop, where I remembered seeing a sign about a hop on/hop off trolly around the area.
Here it comes!  
I really didn't mind waiting for it, because there was so much to see 
like old buildings..

...and local hotties, waiting for the same trolly!  

So, I hopped on the trolly, got off and found a place to stuff my face.  Of course, after I had gotten some food in me and downed a bottle of water, I felt better.  I continued my tour and admired the architecture, old and new...

Then, I happened upon this lovely place; Queen Victoria Market

Inside I found such tasty and visual delights!

And the fellas behind the counter were tasty, too!

I wanted to sample those, too!
Alas, I had to move on and take a gander at the non-edible treats

I made my way to the trolly stop and hopped on.  This time I made it all the way to the water.
There were such beautiful and colorful buildings

and a bridge I remember crossing in the cab on the way in.

There was also a nice place for a levitating selfie!

Did I mention the colorful architecture?

By this point, I had expended all my energy, so I hopped on the trolly. I headed back to the hotel, so that I could rest up for a few hours for my sexy time ahead at The Laird!

On the ride home, I admired more of Melbourne...

 All rested up, I re-showered, picked cute underwear, picked out my sexiest clean t-shirt & jeans and headed out.  In a few minutes I was back at The Laird for the sexy club I was promised.

 I paid my $20 and entered Voguey Bear.  I know it's nerdy to show up right at start time, but I couldn't be out too late because I had to get up early to catch my flight home the next morning.  Now, the way this was described to me, there was to be a "spa" like atmosphere with a dark room for neked shenanigans.  I walked about and found the "dark room", it was a little square of room blocked off/out by a flimsy black sheet of plastic.  Hmmm.  Already 40 minutes in and there's only me and one other guy, who showed up with something in a large brown paper bag that he checked in with the bartender when he arrived.  I was anxious & horny and getting bored.  Since I was the first arrival, I thought I should set the tone, so I checked my pants, leaving my sexy clean t-shirt on and traipsing around in the carefully chosen cute underwear which matched the ankle-cut socks in the shoes I also left on.  The event poster has a neked bear guy dancing around on it, after all!  That other guy collected his brown bag and left.  I was just about to confront that Paul Mac guy, (who was kind enough to carry on a nice, but awkward conversation for an extended time with me while spinning tunes) when men started arriving.  I confidently strolled about, clutching my bottle of Hard Apple Cider... in my underwear.  It had been another hour since others arrived, creating a nice atmosphere, but no one else checked their pants!  I failed at setting the tone!  Nonetheless, I stuck to the underwear look because I had committed to it and I'm probably never going to see any of these people ever again, so there!  Paul Mac introduced me to a handful of guys and I had a nice time chatting with them.  It was obvious that I was not going to have the sexy time I had imagined, so I let that go and just enjoyed the night.  All in all, it was like spending an off night at the Faultline or Eagle in Los Angeles, in my underwear.  At 11:00 PM I retrieved my pants, said my goodbye and cabbed it to the hotel.  I like to imagine that only half an hour after I left, it all turned into a raging orgy... but only because I had taken off my pants and set the tone.

I got everything in order and I went to sleep with hopes of waking up feeling well enough to endure a 14 hour flight home, because as a Gay of A Certain Age, I know that even though one would try, they can't sleep the entire way back.  Luckily, I woke up feeling much better and a little energized.  I made it to the lovely airport, greeted by a giant sign, bidding me farewell

I had a fabulous time and even though a few of my excursions were cancelled and I spent most of my time in the cities and rarely got to a beach or cave or kangaroo reserve, I feel like I couldn't possibly have done more.  I loved my time in New Zealand and Australia and hope to return! I also hope to see Nate and Dan in person again! A huge thank you to yous guys for enhancing my trip!!

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