This Is Why I'm Single - Male Unicorn

Nuff said.

Happy Holidays!!!

Here I am in El Paso, Texas

not alone for the holidays!

I'm visiting family and 

my best friend since High School, Ted.

I hope that if you find yourself alone

that you find ways to enjoy your time and take care of yourself!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Gift Ideas For the Dying Alone - Charade Buddy!

This is the first time I am an actual recipient of a Gift For the Dying Alone.  Let me tell you, I just received this present last night and I couldn't wait to tell you about it! 
I got WHO'S THE DUDE? for Christmas from my friends, Oscar & Daron.  I'm not sure if they knew they got me a Gift For the Dying Alone... I mean last year they got me the board game version of WORDS WITH FRIENDS -DELUXE, knowing full well, I rarely have friends over to my place.  Well, this year they got me a game with an inflatable playmate!! 
Yeah! This blow up guy, The Dude, plays with me!

I took him out of the box and blew him. We became fast buddies...

We played charades, as suggested...

But, when we were done, we agreed that The Dude was not ready to be deflated, so I poured us some Nigori Sake and we watched TROOP BEVERLY HILLS together.

After he told me how Shelly Long's character reminded him of Private Benjamin and his Aunt Solly, we got deeper into conversation and found that we had a lot in common!  We liked a lot of the same stuff and had a very similar frame of reference.  Then, I found myself liking the way the tiny Chrismas lights on my tiny Christmas tree reflected off of his beard.  I got lost in his dark sunglasses and realized that I was becoming very attracted to him.  Mentally AND physically!  I mean. look at that ass!

As if you couldn't see this coming, we ended up in bed together, sounding off our favorite TALES OF THE CITY quotes to each other...  and fooling around.

After enjoying some more sake and giggles in bed, we had our first fight.

 After I finally let him back in (the neighbors were giving us weird looks), we hugged for a little while, made our apologies and I deflated him.  I put him in my underwear drawer where he'll stay until I have time for another in-home date.  Did I mention I'm going to El Paso for Christmas?  I'll be gone for a  few days and I hope he doesn't forget the good time we had and how we survived our first tiff.  I don't know, maybe we'll have a go at it, all I DO know is that this is the best Christmas gift I've gotten in a while!  And as one of the Dying Alone, I can whole heartedly recommend this gift!

I give him 8 out of 10 bathrobes!

Gift Ideas For the Dying Alone - Jizzfrey Cleaners

The holidays are here and it's gift giving time, but what do you get for that friend who's going to die alone, and seems to have everything he wants?  

How about a guaranteed visit from JIZZFREY CLEANERS?  Who are these Jizzfrey guys?  

Well, they provide a service that I'm sure everybody would love.  After the gift is arranged, Jizzfrey Cleaners contacts the recipient and gives them a stylish death alert bracelet. At the moment of death, Jezzfrey Cleaners dispatches a crew to their home and "cleans" up. 

 If they had a dildo that was just right for them, but looks too big or slutty, our cleaners will take it! Two month old sheets on the bed?  Our Cleaners will change them!  

Was someone really into fishnet pantyhose, with personal photos to go along with that fetish, but uncomfortable with family and friends knowing?  Our cleaners will take it!  

Is there a "Make America Great Again" cap in the sock drawer?  Our cleaners will take it, spit on it and then burn it!  

A little too many visits to MyEggplantIntakeDiaryWithPics.com?  Our cleaners will wipe that web history!

Basically, anything someone doesn't want their Mom to see, our cleaners will take it!

(It should be said; child porn, illicit drugs, dead bodies that are not the client, or anything of an illegal sort is exempt from this service)

If you haven't gotten me a gift, please consider getting me this!

JIZZFREY CLEANERS

"You're dead, you shouldn't have to sweat Home Sweet Home!"

Getting Out - Going From Away

I'm in New York for a quick weekend of shows!  I was joined by muh DAB, Glenn Gaylord and we hit the ground running!  After we landed on Thursday, we went our separate ways at the TKTS booth, so while Glenn enjoyed WAITRESS, I was paying my repsects to SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

It's a fun, colorful show with some good laughs. It ain't art, but it was just the ticket after a 5 hour flight.

Yesterday we saw COME FROM AWAY

Which we both loved!  It's a great show that relies on the talent of the cast & musicians, and they delivered.  No super fancy sets or FX, just a group of people on stage the entire time playing various distinct characters.  See it.

Today, I'm rushing off for a 3 show day.  I woke up to snow, so I'm going to cut this short, so that I have plenty of time for my ONCE ON THIS ISLAND matinee.

Here are the shows...

See you soon!

Too Busy For Love - Drag the Halls

Gentle readers, I have not forgotten about you!  I've just been too busy to post!
No, it's true!  You see the Friday after Thanksgiving I couldn't even think of meeting a potential suitor nor post because I had rehearsal for the show that opened Saturday afternoon!

Chico's Angels in Feliz Navidivas opened, we did three shows on Saturday, three shows on Sunday, then a show on Monday and Tuesday night! I was pooped!!

I did enjoy fun visits from fun folk like Greg In Hollywood, Greg Hernandez

Julie Brown

Debbie Gibson

and super hottie Wilmer Valderrama

As well as a few hottie mens

I snuck in a movie with friends...

We enjoyed MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS

Add to that needing to deal with all the press and fans clamoring for autographs, all because

Chico's Angels have become cover models!  We are on the cover and featured in the December issue of THE FIGHT MAGAZINE

We were photographed by Dusti Cunningham and joined by reliable hunk, Duke Shoman.

As a matter of fact, as soon as I'm done posting this I'm rushing off to see darling, Natalie Lander sing her butt off in HOME ALONE, 

 Then, later this evening I travel to Atwater Village to catch BOB'S HOLIDAY OFFICE PARTY again, because 21 times isn't enough!

Then, I have to prep for my trip to New York later this week... I've been sneaking in loads of laundry where I could the past couple of days.  I'm so super busy!

I couldn't even play catch up with you guys, much less even think of shopping for and meeting a date! Too busy for love!!