Gay Of A Certain Age - Olivia Newton Gone

 Ew, I totally turned those smiles upside down.

You know that saying, "You don't miss your water, 'til the well runs dry"? 

(Maybe that's just a cool song on the MARRIED TO THE MOB soundtrack)

I had an incident... it all starts with, what I thought was, an affinity for the movie XANADU.

A good portion of my closest friends have bonded over multiple viewings of the very flawed, but completely delicious movie.  After a few in-home viewings, we were all excited that Outfest, the yearly LGBTQ film festival, listed XANADU as their sing-a-long feature back in 2002.

As you can see, there was a huge group of us ready to sing-a-long to all of those great songs on the soundtrack! (not many of us were ready to match the very high vocals of Jeff Lynne and most chose to sit those songs out... not me!  My apologies, still to those who sat around me that night).

We were so excited, Muh Dab, Dennis Hensley, had t-shirts made!

We're XanaDUDES!

Five years later, Douglas Carter Beane had the nerve to take this movie and make it a stage show. I'm glad he did, it was very lovingly hilarious and I built a Broadway visit around seeing the show.

I was also excited to git muh picture made with star, Cheyenne Jackson!

(Look, he's TOUCHING me!)

Two years after that, I got to share the joy with my friends as we traveled all the way to Orange County to catch the Tour of XANADU THE MUSICAL!

We were so excited, we took another shot with me as Sonny and Dennis as Kira, 
but I looked cutest in this shot.

I'm sure there were a few more in-home viewings, 

but in 2015, we jumped at the chance to see it again

in the Sunnyside Cemetery, in Long Beach.

I'm not a fan of cemetery viewings, 

because I find them very uncomfortable

and difficult to enjoy;

it was not an issue this time around.

Also, before the screening, 

there was an awesome cover band 

This guy was ready to match Jeff Lynne...

Then, August 8, 2022

Olivia Newton-John died.
I thought, "Awwww, that's sad." and moved on with my day.

It hit Dennis pretty hard.
While I understood his reaction, 

I just didn't feel the same way...
She was a celebrity, among many we lost this year.

On September 9, luckily my Friday off,

I joined Dennis & former DAB, Brett Freedman

for a farewell to Olivia screening of 
XANADU

at the New Beverly Cinema.

It was well attended for a 2 pm screening.

...And, we ran into friends

Tom Ford and

John Cantwell, whom I love love love as

Love Connie.

During the movie,
I was having a lovely time,

feeling a little sad for our loss.

Then, this scene, at the big opening of the club at the end happened.

Suddenly, at the moment caught in this pic,

 I was holding back a torrent of tears!
Just seeing her sing her number with such a joyful ease,

I realized she was gone.
She had always been a delight when I'd seen her perform

on variety shows, talk show guest spots and even crappy movies.

She was such a sweet ball of sunshine

that I hadn't registered had tanned much of my growing up.

I feel like I can remember the very first time

I heard Have You Ever Been Mellow as a mere child...

Of course, I can't actually, 

but I remember that song and how it made me feel,

how it STILL makes me feel. 

Her indelible performance in GREASE

(which I watched on a loop on Showtime and many more times since)

touches me, still.

There was a huge bubble on my heart

 filled with ONJ

that I had no idea was there

and it just burst right in that moment.

(I'm still getting a little misty eyed while writing this)

She was a sneaky one, that Olivia...

So, now I really get Dennis' reaction,

he was just more in tune with his love for her

than I.

Now, I understand that for many,

we not only lost a

greatly talented, sweet and lovely woman,

but also a chunk of what made us who we are;

we feel as if we've lost bit of our childhood,

a sweet & loving bit.

Farewell Olivia,

and if possible from where you are,

Keep me suspended in time with you

Don't let this moment die...

This Is Why I Am Single - A Win/Winwin Situation

I know I have been here before. I know I have told you I have been here before. …but, it’s such a nice place! Here I am “in Love” with a gay porn star. That’s in quotes because, of course, I know it isn’t actually love; it’s an infatuation with a terribly good looking man, compounded by the fact that the guy is a total sweetheart. His name is Arad Winwin.

 Here’s the thing; I first noticed Arad at a RuPaul’s Dragcon as a standout amongst a throng of underwear models for Andrew Christian.

 He popped out of my photos of the event like Olivia Newton John in XANADU and, in my mind, we turned into cartoon fish and danced a wet dance.

I noticed him on a THE FIGHT MAGAZINE cover and learned his name.

(Photo by Dusti Cunningham)

 From there I took the next logical step and stalked found him on Instagram. Later, whilst perusing a gay porn site on Sunday morning while listening to NPR, as one does, I saw his face and clicked on the thumbnail. To my delight, I watched as he danced naked with another guy who looked exactly like me! I may have imagined the “looked exactly like me” part. As time went on, I enjoyed his posts on Instagram and collected his postcards from Andrew Christian Underwear. I would delight in chance sightings at events and hoped to see him at the DragCons, which I did. I’d always ask for a picture with him and he’d happily agree and pose.

 Then, it started becoming apparent that he was recognizing me- or one of me because I’ve accosted him as Frieda Laye, Reba Areba and maybe myself. Once I realized how many times I’ve actually come in contact with him, photographed him and stared at him, again imagining we were cartoon fish playfully chasing each other through the sea of love, I was actually amazed that he was not creeped out by me. I mean, people, this last Drag Con alone, I visited the Andrew Christian underwear booth, multiple times and shot multiple shots-patiently stalking waiting for a good clear frame in hopes that the pic wasn’t blurry because my camera is acting up and sometimes the display doesn’t come up so I can see what it looks like so I shoot many in hopes that one is in focus because he keeps moving and I’m not using a flash to save battery life because there’s so many things to capture at Dragcon…

 And of course, I know he has a job to do modeling underwear, so each time I’d go stalk take pictures, I’d buy some underwear. (I got some really cute stuff! … but also a pair of denim looking briefs- with no butt! I gotta sift through the bins more carefully) (I need a butt in my undies) I bought more underwear than I need, but it was a bargain and Andrew Christian made some buck, so it was a win/win!

Don’t forget, I also worked with him with a lot fewer people around when we shot the Best In Drag Show Calendar last year.

Every single time I had an encounter with Arad, we was the sweetest guy, and gracious. I don’t know if he actually remembered me each time, but he made me feel as if he had. It wasn’t until 10:30 pm, or so, the Sunday night Dragcon closed, I had gone to the new West Hollywood establishment, Rocco’s, with friends after the big 90’s Mixtape Concert at the Hollywood Bowl, when I saw Arad there. He was just hanging out and I didn’t think he had seen me walk by. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to bother him after photostalking him for two whole days, I wasn’t in drag so he prolly wouldn’t know who I am and HE DOESN’T KNOW WHO THE FUCK I AM. I may have a very active fantasy life, but I’m not delusional. But, then, he turned, saw me and sauntered right over to say “hi” and gave me a nice hug. Then he asked how the rest of my day was and was chatted for a moment before he returned to his hanging out. He did know who I was. He actually stopped what he was doing and came over to me and said “Hi.”

That was the moment I officially “fell in love” with him. It’s not just because he’s a super hottie underwear model/porn guy, but simply for the fact that as someone who’s admired worldwide by lusty & hungry gaymosexuals and prolly approached every minute, everywhere he goes, he took the time to walk over to me and say “hi”, when he could have very easily pretended that he didn’t see me in the crowd. That’s sweet. That’s deserving of my “love”.

This is why I am single; I give my “love” to public hot guys, and some guys cannot handle that.

P.S. Don’t worry, Chris Rockway, I still “love” you, too!

Gay Of A Certain Age - Warm Memories

As A Gay Of A Certain Age, I'm allowed to decorate my home as I wish,
without having to consult the taste of a live-in love.  I'm also allowed to fill my closet with as many
clothes as I wish, fashionable or not.  Unfortunately, there comes a time when you may realize
that you have too many clothes in your closet and some of them you haven't worn for years.
I mean, YEARS.  What to do?  Sure you can sell some to used clothing retailers, who are likely to give you more judging looks than cash or you can just give them away to a charity clothing store (I recommend Out of the Closet).  Some clothes are easy to get rid of, while others have an inexplicable emotional value.  Could I possibly give away a t-shirt from my first visit to Broadway in 1992?  Who would want t-shirts from my days at the Union Dinner Theatre, 20 years ago?  I worked hard for my Aerosmith local crew tee!   Yes, I could need therapy after clearing out some old clothes...

Fortunately, muh DAB, Dennis Hensley, introduced me to Project Repat!  This is a company, where you send in your favorite tee shirts, which you can't wear anymore because you're too fat, or they're damaged, or they have those awful yellow deodorant stains in the arm pit, or they just won't survive another wearing... in any case, they take the tees and make them into a nice, soft quilt!
I really enjoy mine very much!  I recently took it to a screening of XANADU in a cemetery and bought a t-shirt there that I'm sure will go into my next quilt!

Also, this company employs Americans!  It's called Project Repat because they are repatriating jobs!
It's a can't lose all the way around.  I highly recommend it, especially for you guys with all the Judas Priest and Def Leppard tees from happy days (and probably current ones) at the El Paso County Coliseum, where it seems there was at least two heavy metal bands every weekend!
Repat & Rock On!!