Tuesday, June 18, 2019

This Is Why I Am Single - A Win/Winwin Situation

I know I have been here before. I know I have told you I have been here before. …but, it’s such a nice place! Here I am “in Love” with a gay porn star. That’s in quotes because, of course, I know it isn’t actually love; it’s an infatuation with a terribly good looking man, compounded by the fact that the guy is a total sweetheart. His name is Arad Winwin.

 Here’s the thing; I first noticed Arad at a RuPaul’s Dragcon as a standout amongst a throng of underwear models for Andrew Christian.

 He popped out of my photos of the event like Olivia Newton John in XANADU and, in my mind, we turned into cartoon fish and danced a wet dance.

I noticed him on a THE FIGHT MAGAZINE cover and learned his name.
(Photo by Dusti Cunningham)

 From there I took the next logical step and stalked found him on Instagram. Later, whilst perusing a gay porn site on Sunday morning while listening to NPR, as one does, I saw his face and clicked on the thumbnail. To my delight, I watched as he danced naked with another guy who looked exactly like me! I may have imagined the “looked exactly like me” part. As time went on, I enjoyed his posts on Instagram and collected his postcards from Andrew Christian Underwear. I would delight in chance sightings at events and hoped to see him at the DragCons, which I did. I’d always ask for a picture with him and he’d happily agree and pose.

 Then, it started becoming apparent that he was recognizing me- or one of me because I’ve accosted him as Frieda Laye, Reba Areba and maybe myself. Once I realized how many times I’ve actually come in contact with him, photographed him and stared at him, again imagining we were cartoon fish playfully chasing each other through the sea of love, I was actually amazed that he was not creeped out by me. I mean, people, this last Drag Con alone, I visited the Andrew Christian underwear booth, multiple times and shot multiple shots-patiently stalking waiting for a good clear frame in hopes that the pic wasn’t blurry because my camera is acting up and sometimes the display doesn’t come up so I can see what it looks like so I shoot many in hopes that one is in focus because he keeps moving and I’m not using a flash to save battery life because there’s so many things to capture at Dragcon…

 And of course, I know he has a job to do modeling underwear, so each time I’d go stalk take pictures, I’d buy some underwear. (I got some really cute stuff! … but also a pair of denim looking briefs- with no butt! I gotta sift through the bins more carefully) (I need a butt in my undies) I bought more underwear than I need, but it was a bargain and Andrew Christian made some buck, so it was a win/win!

Don’t forget, I also worked with him with a lot fewer people around when we shot the Best In Drag Show Calendar last year.

Every single time I had an encounter with Arad, we was the sweetest guy, and gracious. I don’t know if he actually remembered me each time, but he made me feel as if he had. It wasn’t until 10:30 pm, or so, the Sunday night Dragcon closed, I had gone to the new West Hollywood establishment, Rocco’s, with friends after the big 90’s Mixtape Concert at the Hollywood Bowl, when I saw Arad there. He was just hanging out and I didn’t think he had seen me walk by. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to bother him after photostalking him for two whole days, I wasn’t in drag so he prolly wouldn’t know who I am and HE DOESN’T KNOW WHO THE FUCK I AM. I may have a very active fantasy life, but I’m not delusional. But, then, he turned, saw me and sauntered right over to say “hi” and gave me a nice hug. Then he asked how the rest of my day was and was chatted for a moment before he returned to his hanging out. He did know who I was. He actually stopped what he was doing and came over to me and said “Hi.”

That was the moment I officially “fell in love” with him. It’s not just because he’s a super hottie underwear model/porn guy, but simply for the fact that as someone who’s admired worldwide by lusty & hungry gaymosexuals and prolly approached every minute, everywhere he goes, he took the time to walk over to me and say “hi”, when he could have very easily pretended that he didn’t see me in the crowd. That’s sweet. That’s deserving of my “love”.

This is why I am single; I give my “love” to public hot guys, and some guys cannot handle that.

P.S. Don’t worry, Chris Rockway, I still “love” you, too!

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