Yesterday, I had a Dark Sunday. It's not as scary as it sounds, although some of that Orlando depression is still gripping me. I think of it more like Broadway shows are dark on Mondays. I did not want to leave my apartment yesterday. I had very little energy, minimal cooling and a touch of the blues. My eyes opened Sunday morning and I stayed in bed, with my ceiling fan blowing my window units cold air down on me. I didn't move, I stayed there for a long time, hoping to fall back to sleep since I felt so tired. I guess I had been pretty busy... Thursday night muh DAB, Dennis & I went to see the UNAUTHORIZED MUSICAL PARODY OF THE BIG LEBOWSKI.
I didn't enjoy it as much as I'd hoped. The cast is great and I did get some real laughs, but the show's style is just too loose for me, with more winking to the audience than I care for. An unrelated and unfortunate side note; when the cast launches into their rendition of Welcome To the Jungle, there's added sound effects of machine gun fire. I was immediately unsettled, what with the loud music in a club atmosphere, I was instantly transported to Orlando. I know, it's Drama Queeny, but like I said, this one is hanging on to me.
Friday, I drove to City of Industry to be an extra for my friend Billy who needed folks for a convention scene in Season 2 of CON MAN.
I had a good time. it reminded me of the old days, when I used to do extra work frequently.
I got to hang out a lot, talk with muh fellow extras, act a little bit and eat all the bananas I wanted! Plus, I got to have a little chat with Leslie Jordan, who was there shooting another scene. That took up most of the day, I got home close to 9:00 pm, so I plopped down and watched TED 2.
Saturday, I breakfasted with Oscar/Kay Sedia, did my taxes and met Ray/Chita Parol for lunch/rehearsal. I got caught in Hollywood Bowl traffic on the way back from Ray's, placing me in the intolerable heat for a good 30 minutes longer than expected. I got home and napped, in my underwear under the fan. By the time I woke up I realized I just enough time to get ready, gather crap and head to the theater for TACO KISSES, totally missing a BBQ at Alex/Bossman's. I performed at the 8:00 & 10:00 shows.
We stayed after the show, talking to guests and then talking to each other, having a good, solid catch up session. I didn't get home 'til close to 1:00 am.
Sunday came and I was dark. I enjoyed the last three days' events, but I felt down. I decided to turn on my Sunday music mix and do some things around my apartment. like clear out the bottom of my bathroom vanity and organize. I did a load of laundry, even though it involved stepping outside, which I truly wanted to avoid. An invitation to brunch turned into a torturous 20 minute consideration of how to reply "no" without sounding suicidal. Then, that turned into consternation because I should be able to choose to stay in my apartment feeling how I feel, without having to justify or even explain it to anyone. Yes, "no" can be that dramatic. I got back to enjoying my time alone, chorin' & snorin', as I call it because I broke up the day with a nap. Later, I ordered my favorite Chinese food and watched GAME OF THRONES alone and thrilled.
I don't know why I felt guilty wanting to stay in, by myself, but I did. Then I remembered that tonight I have dinner plans after work, a work meeting on Tuesday night, then I fly out to El Paso on Thursday night, so I'm not going to have much time at home, at all!
As a Gay of A Certain Age, I'm finding that not only do I not mind being alone, but sometimes, I NEED it! Listen to your body and heart, it's telling what you need. Sometimes you need to go dark!