Saturday, October 8, 2016

This Is Why I Am Single - I Can See the Future

So I was at this pool party, where I struck up a nice rapport with this tall fella.  My friend Aynsley noticed that we were getting along nicely.  She asked, "So, you guys gonna go out?" I said it would be nice, but we have no future.  Sadly, I looked into the future and there was only trouble for us based on his size.  Certainly, when one looks into the future with their potential life-long mate, they see the bad times as well as the good.  Well, I saw the bad time when he got sick and I couldn't carry him upstairs to bed, I couldn't help him into the back seat of the car on the way to the doctor; I saw that I literally could not support him.  That, and we'd never have sex without two or three stacked phonebooks.  See, the real reason that we can't be together isn't because I can't lift him romantically over the threshold, it's because I can't get out of my head and not sabotage myself with doubts and improbable problems.  Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't say no, if he were to ask me out, but I couldn't initiate based on my ridiculous musings.    My mind works against me, This Is Why I Am Single. 


  1. But your an actor and go get rejected in your career. What makes you go to that audition each time? Hope?

  2. Sorry, honey. How is he dealing with the break-up?

  3. I would wear heels to date him!