This Is Why I Am Single - Such A Pooch-um

Can you blame me?
Look at that face!
Is it any wonder I prefer a dog's company to a man's?

This is the face of a being who wants only to bring happiness and comfort!
He wants nothing in return but a hand on his head, back or butt.
...maybe a taste of your face.

Unfortunately, this is not my personal comfort companion,
he is with a friend of mine, but when he bounced up to me, threw himself on the ground
and rolled at my feet, I knew he was speaking my language.
He was saying, "Be my friend."
...or was it, "You gonna eat that chip?"

He Don't Even Know! - Magic Mig

Meet "Miguel"!

We pretend met at the Arclight in Hollyood.

We were both leaving the theater

with our own gaggles of gays when

I fired off a delicious bon mot about

the movie we had just seen.

He turned to me and said, "Right?"

That's how we both knew that we were at the same screening

of MAGIC MIKE.

We hit it off right away 

and the very next week I was at Miguel's place

for a movie & Thai take-out.

When I got there, 

the place was all set up and all I had to do

was curl up on the sofa next to him

and let him press play on the remote.

He didn't tell me

what movie we'd be watching

and I was delighted to see it was

THE FULL MONTY!

The best part of the evening was

when he jumped off of the sofaat the end of the movie
and did the final strip

along with the guys in the movie!

Yes, he went the Full Monty.

Then, he was kind enough to fill my Monty.

He Don't Even Know! - All that Chaz

Say Hello, to my "boyfriend", 

whom I think is a Chaz.

Chaz is very silly and loves a good laugh, 

I imagine, one time, 

that we were at an electrician friend's 

Welcome Home From Narnia party

when this very annoyingly flirty 

and drunk set decorator guy

was shamelessly throwing himself at Chaz.

I didn't feel threatened at all, 

mostly because Chaz never gives me any reason to fret.

The set decorator made it clear that he had designs on Chaz's crotch.

I turned to Chaz and said, "Go ahead, show him your nuts."

Set decorator's eyes widened with anticipation.

Chaz promptly stuck his fingers in his own ears

and twisted them as he stuck his tongue out

and crossed his eyes.

I did a spit take on Set Decorator,

and yelled, "You're nuts!"

Set Decorator was turned off on so many levels.

Chaz took his fingers out of his ears, 

but left his tongue out as he licked the tip of my nose

and pulled me into a hug.

We never did see that Narnia movie...