The Trials of Man Solo - Party of One & Then Some

Today I enjoyed a day all alone, I didn't leave my apartment, except to have lunch.

I went to one of my favorite places that I've neglected lately.  Kung Pao China Bistro welcomed me with open chopsticks.  When one dines alone as much I do, it's important to find places one enjoys, with tasty eats, comfy atmosphere and friendly staff.  Once in a while, I'll lighten up on a place because of heavy visitation, and I don't know how long it's been since I was a super regular here, but apparently I've been gone long enough for someone else to set up Lonely Shop.  I walked in, sat at a random two-top and set out my dine-alone accoutrements; my phone (face down), iPad set on "game" and a thin veil of judgement.  I readily ordered green tea and Siapore Mai Funand and set on to trying to make an eight letter word with only one vowel.  Then, I felt my veil waft a bit when I heard the man seated next to me speak.   First, he called the waitress by her name as she walked by, then he asked her a hypothetical question about a possible future order.  I pegged him in a second; THE LONELY DINER.  He is someone I hope to never become.  He's that late middle-aged man, who is so lonely, he eats in public only to not be alone, try to make friends of the wait staff and make everyone around him feel uncomfortable.  Almost any time a staff member walked by, he called them by name and made some comment or asked some inane hypothetical, like, "So if I ordered the Sai gow, you know maybe, in the future, do you think they could serve it with a different dipping sauce than what it comes with?  What dipping sauce does it come with?"  The staff was very friendly, but after I exchanged a judgey look with the slightly younger single guy sitting on my other side, the rest of us were cringing.  As I was finishing my meal, he flagged down Jose and asked if Mary was leaving, because she had placed his check on the table, and he had not asked for it... She appeared two minutes later and removed the check from his table.

I'm not an idiot, I actually did consider that when I found a parking in that impossible parking lot shared with Whole Foods, that I actually entered some time warp thingy and was actually seated next to future me.  It had to be future me, otherwise, why would he be so comfortable talking to me?  He tried to draw me into his sad web of forlorness as he leaned over and said, "I don't know if you know this, but they have great ice cream here.  Have you ever had their almond ice cream, it's great."

To which I replied, "I sorry, me no speaky LONELY."  Actually, said, "Yes, I have.  Thank you." And shut it down immediately.  Look, I have to judge him and not give in to any pity. He's giving us Die Aloners a bad name!  I am alone, not lonely.  If I'm get lonely there's a Craiglist for it! (actually, I don't Craigslist, because I am wary of serial killers.)  Seriously though, when you dine alone, you are in charge of your own entertainment and you are there to eat.  That is it!  If you're lonely, voulunteer some place where there are people.  Pretend to have an addiction and take in some meetings!  Walk by a skin treatment kiosk at the Grove!  But, for piss sakes, DO NOT MAKE RESTAURANT FOLK FEAR DIE ALONERS!!  It's hard enough to get refills on my green tea without the waiter avoiding me because he's worrying that I'm gonna ask about climate change and its affect on springroll stuffin's!  I wish that it was future me sitting next to me, because I would have slugged myself in the face and told me to snap out of it! Cripes! Sometimes, the Trials of Man Solo, aren't about dining alone, but restraining oneself from punching a possible future-self, because it might not be...

I hope I don't have to stay away from Kung Pao some more, the Singapore Mai Fun was superb!

From the Interwebs -Thought for the Day

The Trials of Man Solo - Cramp Ball

Oh my God, You guys!

I almost took my blog literally yesterday!

At 5:30 am, I woke up with my stomach churning and gurgling sounds that only Captain Nemo could have heard before.  I ran to the terlet and thus began my torturous day of hell dealing with FOOD POISONING.  I felt terrible!  I seriously started to understand suicide as the early hours were filled with so much pain & discomfort and I thought, "what if I'm like this for the rest of my life?  I can't take this!"  I seriously have more empathy for anyone living with chronic pain, because my moments of discomfort were driving me mad, imagine if there was real pain involved.  Again, as I ran to the terlet and back to bed, I lamented not having someone there, but I was also grateful that there was no one there as I embarassed myself with whimpering and whining, because I know there's nothing anyone could have done (except maybe call an ambulance if I passed out and didn't come to) and I would just have to ride it out.  I will say that I'm gratedful that I, at least, have a maid twice a month because as I lay naked on the floor in a cramping ball, I knew it was clean.

At about noon I had a great vomiting session where I could feel my condition lessen immediately after.  Still, I was weak and my stomach & back were terribly achy.  My thinking became clearer and any thoughts of ending it all were safely away, (I never seriously contemplated it, but I did gain some understanding of it) but my thoughts weren't any less dramatic as I thought, "I almost died today!"

So, I barely escaped dying alone.  Thank goodness I had contacted my boss and a DAB, or two, so that if I did die of food poisoning, it wouldn't be a week or two before my naked body was discovered on my bathroom floor.  I did try to tidy up, just in case...

Gay of A Certain Age - A Shred of Friendship

As a Gay of a Certain Age, I can say I am lucky to have the friends that I have.  I can easily count off a number of friends that I know I could call to bail me out of jail.  There are some friends that I am not as close to as I used to be, but usually when I see them, we talk as if we'd seen each other the day before.  Then, there are the few friendships that have just gone to crap and I don't care to see that person as much as they don't care to see me.  I'm not good at pretending to like someone that I don't, but I'm also not one for drama, so I can, at the very least, be civil and polite; I don't think I hate any of my former friends, I just don't trust them with my heart.  Then, there's another category of friend, that is basically "Friend-Lite".  These are people whom I like and admire, but as much I try I cant seem to connect with.  With some of them, I always feel like I'm auditioning for the friendship and they don't ever seem to let me all the way in, while others are simply on different schedules and we never seem to get together.  One night after a seriously displeasing event, which left me feeling like a humngous fool, I decided that I would stop chasing these types of friends.  That is to say, I'd stop trying so hard and setting myself up for disappointment.  Of course, I'm totally open to their invitation and would try very hard to get to them, but they have to make the first move.  I've found much peace that way.

This evening I recieved something very special in the mail, a third of a hand painted portrait.  I knew what it was the second I pulled it out of the envelope.  It was painted by a friend at a time when three of us felt very close. Unfortunately, just as she was about to finish her masterpiece, the other two of us hit a rough patch.  A really rough patch.  She tried her best to be a mediator over the next few weeks, but my friendship with the other could not be saved.  He falls into that category of I'd rather not see him because I felt our parting was totally one-sided, especially because I tried to hang on a little and show support for his artistic endeavors and show there were no hard feelings, even though we weren't hanging out or talking much at all.  The final straw came when I realized that he had unfriended me on the Facebooks.  Now, there are hard feelings.  She remained friends with him, which I did not blame her for, at all.  They were friends before I met them both and they were very close and she had no reason not to be friends with him.  I did my best not to bad mouth him when we hung out together.  They spent a lot of time together.  Unfortunately, her time was very rare and she slipped into that twilight of Friend-Lite.  I tried getting together, but dates got cancelled or when I was sure I'd see her at a certain event, she wasn't there.  When I had my revelation and stopped chasing, she was lumped into that group.  I was happy to see her on the Facebooks and the Instantgram and we shared happy comments, but I think I've seen her in person once a year for a brief moment where we had no chance to just sit and talk.  Then today, I got my shred of that portrait.  She sent me kind note explaining that she had finished the portrait of the three of us, finally decided to cut me out and presented it to him in a frame, just the two of them.  This did not hurt me.  I undertstand, perfectly, that she started the project as a gift for him and she worked very hard on it and it would be an absolute shame to have it sit under her bed for a few more years, or in a dumpster!  What I found touching was that she saved that sliver of me for quite a while, instead of throwing it out.  So, tonight I have it on my wall, next to another prized drawing of me as a pinhead.  I'm excited with the idea of getting together for a good visit with her soon!

I was disappointed to learn that the other two thirds of portrait probably ended

up in the trash, after all.  He ended his friendship with her, which surprised the hell out of me, because I thought if there was anyone who was safe from his axe, it would be her.

Then, I got a little sad for him.  I honestly don't know if he has any friends left.  If he couldn't find it in his heart to find a way to keep her in his life, I don't think he knows what friendship is.  All of my closest friends, I've had by my side for well over ten years and I have some friends growing closer every day.  Sure, we've had hard times or just needed a little space, or grown apart, but we've always found our way back, or even worked to save the friendship.  I try not to take my friends for granted because I cherish them & know I need them and some of them are going to be the ones to die alone with me.

He Don't Even Know - Peppermint Twist

This is "Rory"

He's my "boyfriend" because,

aside from being such a cutie,

he is a bartender.

I don't know why, 

but I'm always attracted to the bartender!

Maybe it is because they pay attention to me

 and bring me stuff for my mouth.

My favorite time with "Rory"

was last fall when we were at home

watching holiday movies

and he asked if I wanted a special drink.

I said yes, of course!

All of a sudden, 

his lips were on mine

for a deep kiss.

Much to my surprise,

his mouth was filled with 

peppermint schnapps!

What a twist!

It was a thrilling little surpise and we kissed for hours.

Gay of A Certain Age - Just Been There, Just Done That

So, I went to Santa Fe this past weekend and had a great time.  Nobody asked me, so I'll tell you.
I made a promise to myself that every year I would go some place I have never been.  I've knocked out all but ten states in the U.S. over the years.  Sometimes, I get so busy throughout the year that it goes by so quickly that I realize I didn't go anywhere I hadn't been.  This year I'd decided to combine a visit with my friends Ted & Eduardo in El Paso with somewhere close enough to drive.  Santa Fe was the perfect choice.

I enjoyed the historic sites and artsy stores.  The atmosphere was fun and inspirational while the climate was cool and bracing.  While I enjoyed a few gourmet meals, my favorite meal was a bowl of Frito Pie!

What really made this dish a tasty treat was the chili, obviously not from a can, that had the perfect amount of beans and meat in a delicious red chili sauce that had the right amount of heat dancing on my tongue throughout.

We also enjoyed the night life!

We hit The Matador early and got some great suggestions for dinner.

I made it clear that I was single and available, but I had no takers.  I did have some guy buy me a Campari & Soda... When we walked in and ordered, the bartender asked where we were from and once he herad Texas, Bob (maybe his real name) chimed in with "I'll buy their drinks!"  Bob and his gal turned out to be delightful company, in from Dallas.  After a nice visit (plus another Campari & soda) we headed of to dinner, where I enjoyed a fancy shrimp enchilada.  After dinner we headed to Evangelo's.

I must say it got a little wild, what with me having to forgo Campari for Amaretto on the rocks!  Then it got even wilder when Bob from Dallas walked in the door and boughtanother round!

The conversation was bustling and it was all fun & games, until Bob's ?teenth Coors Light hit and he started talking about killing all Muslims, so I suddenly announced, "My mom says I have to go home now."  Ted said, "Who can argue with his mom?" and we thanked Bob for his generosity, while slipping out the door.

The next morning I enjoyed a super tasty chile relleno omlette at the Plaza Cafe, then headed to an artsy district where we explored a few shops, galleries and outdoor dislays.

After a few purchases, we stopped at Teahouse for a delectable lunch just before hitting the road, back to El Paso.  My favorite part of that meal was the Key Lime pie which I haven't enjoyed since I went gluten-free a few years ago.  Thank you for a gluten-free crust, Teahouse!

As a Gay of A Certain Age, I think it's important to explore our world and seek out new experiences.  I don't know where the new place I will visit will be, next year, but I look forward to the new adventure!

Too Busy To Post - Santa Fe

I'm in Santa Fe right now!