Here's how it works; mounted on a wall in between your living room and bedroom, it monitors and waits judgementally to warn you when it senses your behavior becomes sad. I've had it for only two months and already it's helped me many times! It seems to have an unlimited amount of phrases in its memory card. I've heard it say; "Bzzz. You've watched 10 episodes of JUDGE JUDY without leaving that chair. That's sad.", "Bzzz. You've been wearing those jeans for five days in a row. That's sad.", "Bzzz. You keep checking for text messages even though there's been no indication of activity on your phone. That's sad.", "Bzzz. You keep watching EMPIRE. It's not going to get any better. That's sad." and my favorite so far, "BZZZ. Jesus Christ! It smells like the Pilsbury Dough Boy killed himself by shooting himself with a can of instant biscuits after working out with a sardine trainer and his rotting body is decaying into a puddle of silicone! THAT'S SAD! Open a fucking window!" I guess it's programmed with an emotion chip because it sure sounded angry.
There's no telling what this Home Sad Detector will say next! As the box says, "Each phrase is a humiliating, but needed surprise." That is except for the the phrase at the bottom of the package which is printed and red and is marked A PHRASE YOU MAY NOT HEAR: "You haven't moved in three days. You are dead. That's sad. I'm contacting the coroner."
If you do go with a GOLDEN GIRLS themed gift, try the books GOLDEN GIRLS FOREVER by Jim Colucci or BETTY WHITE RULES THE WORLD by Mike Pingel.
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