Gay of A Certain Age - A Gay Old Time

My time in Palm Springs has been a fabulous mix of relaxation, activity and gayness!  

One of my favorite things to do is go to Wang's for dinner with the fellas, then off to the Spurline for drinks and videos!

This bar is great because they play showtunes & videos all the time!  The videos featured are old & new and everyone seems to enjoy them whether they know the songs or not.  You can walk in and have INTO THE WOODS on the screen and have HELLO, DOLLY bid you farewell as you head back to the aparment of the showtune loving lover who has seduced you during XANADU. 

That Dolly Levi, ever the match maker!

But, where else can you go that the entire bar grabs napkins and literally waves "Bye Bye, Birdie"?

It's always a great night, because I find that, as a Gay of A Certain Age, some of the uniquely gay experiences are fading away.  Gay bars are more inclusive now and you have party girls in there, followed by the straight guys who realize there's less competition at the gay bars and the music is better.  So, because everyone likes to dance, it's easy to go the gay bar.  Showtunes have not seemed to have caught on in the party girl world, nor with the straight guys who follow them to gay bars.  This place is a little haven where a gay can enjoy bonding with everyone else singing OKLAHOMA!  It's also refreshing to see gays of every age there, appreciating the old stuff, or learning about it, along with the newer things.  It is a unique experience that still feels uniquely gay.  I like that.  I cherish this little bar in Palm Springs because the L.A. gays can't seem to support even one night dedicated to showtunes, so it's on these sparse visits to the desert that I can truly enjoy myself.  I even stay at the bar when my group goes to the dance club across the street.  Maybe, this is why I'm single, too, but I like this reason.  I'll take SWEENY TODD over Justin Bieber any day!!

Gobble Gobble

This Is Why I Am Single - Giving Bad Bed

Being in my current alone condition, sadly, I haven't had the occassion to share a bed in a very long time.  Sure, I've shared neked activities, I just haven't slept with anyone in it.  So here I am in Palm Springs and somehow, a new place means I don't have a room to myself and have to share a bed this year.   I am worried.  I'm not worried about any hanky panky, I'm worried that I am a bad bedmate.  Last night, I let my bed bud fall asleep before I got in to my side of the bed.  I gingerly lifted the blanket & top sheet, slid in carefully and plopped heavily into my spot.  I didn't sleep very soundly as I tried to keep to my side of the bed, laying tightly, like a mummy,  hugging the edge of the bed.  Then, when I adjusted I had to be careful not to pull the blankets over to my side.  Finally, my Bedmate Kryptonite;  I snore.   I've only had one significant relationship and I know that it all came crashing down in thirteen months for the simple reason that I snore.  The noise itself led to other actions and behaviors that ate away at the fabric of our union, like a little Mexican mouse in a box of cheese cloth.  Since then, I've not let anyone spend the night for fear that no matter how good our bed activies are or how much they like me, they would not stay more than one night.

This is why I am single, the damage that my snoring has done to a previous relationship has made me bed shy and wary of letting anyone close enough to hear the real me.  This morning, I asked my bed bud if my snoring bothered him and he said it hadn't.  Tonight he asked for the earplugs I offered.  I honestly don't know if I'll ever get over my fear of sharing a bed, but at least I might not have to share a room next Thanksgiving!

Getting Out - Aces!

Hey, I'm in Palm Springs!  I drove in today and did some exhausting grocery shopping.

I was done in, so by the time muh DAB, Dennis, got here, I was tempted to just call it a night and convince him to stay in and watch Dancing With the Stars.  Dennis was on it, though.  He didn't even unload his luggage.  He said, "you wanna stay in, or if we hurry a little, we can make it to the Ace for trivia."  I didn't have time to make excuses, I said, sure and off we went.

By the time Dennis and I got there, people were all over the tiny Amigo Room and there didn't seem to be any place to sit.  We almost gave up, when I saw a table make like they might be leaving.  I negotiated with one of the departing parties, when all of a sudden from the other side of the cramped booth, a woman was sliding in.  I resisited the drama route and simply asked if we could share the table.  She took a second and agreed.  So, Dennis and I were suddenly a team of four, as we shared the small booth with Monica and her husband, Peter.  Neither of us had any idea how this would turn out, but at first I thought, "I left the house for this? I could be napping!"  Then our hostess, Bella Da Ball, started asking the questions.  As it turns out, Monica was a hoot and Peter came through on a few tough answers.  As a matter of fact, we made a great team, with each of us using our own special powers of knowledge.  As these things tend to go, WE WON!

I must say that I'm very pleased that I left the house tonight.  I had a great time playing trivia with Dennis and our new friends from San Francisco.  I admire them because they are on their way to Arizona for Thanksgiving and they are stopping different places along the way.  I love that!

Peter told me he's enjoying the journey.  Here, here!  I enjoyed my journey to the Ace Hotel tonight.

The Trials of Man Solo - Party of One & Then Some

Today I enjoyed a day all alone, I didn't leave my apartment, except to have lunch.

I went to one of my favorite places that I've neglected lately.  Kung Pao China Bistro welcomed me with open chopsticks.  When one dines alone as much I do, it's important to find places one enjoys, with tasty eats, comfy atmosphere and friendly staff.  Once in a while, I'll lighten up on a place because of heavy visitation, and I don't know how long it's been since I was a super regular here, but apparently I've been gone long enough for someone else to set up Lonely Shop.  I walked in, sat at a random two-top and set out my dine-alone accoutrements; my phone (face down), iPad set on "game" and a thin veil of judgement.  I readily ordered green tea and Siapore Mai Funand and set on to trying to make an eight letter word with only one vowel.  Then, I felt my veil waft a bit when I heard the man seated next to me speak.   First, he called the waitress by her name as she walked by, then he asked her a hypothetical question about a possible future order.  I pegged him in a second; THE LONELY DINER.  He is someone I hope to never become.  He's that late middle-aged man, who is so lonely, he eats in public only to not be alone, try to make friends of the wait staff and make everyone around him feel uncomfortable.  Almost any time a staff member walked by, he called them by name and made some comment or asked some inane hypothetical, like, "So if I ordered the Sai gow, you know maybe, in the future, do you think they could serve it with a different dipping sauce than what it comes with?  What dipping sauce does it come with?"  The staff was very friendly, but after I exchanged a judgey look with the slightly younger single guy sitting on my other side, the rest of us were cringing.  As I was finishing my meal, he flagged down Jose and asked if Mary was leaving, because she had placed his check on the table, and he had not asked for it... She appeared two minutes later and removed the check from his table.

I'm not an idiot, I actually did consider that when I found a parking in that impossible parking lot shared with Whole Foods, that I actually entered some time warp thingy and was actually seated next to future me.  It had to be future me, otherwise, why would he be so comfortable talking to me?  He tried to draw me into his sad web of forlorness as he leaned over and said, "I don't know if you know this, but they have great ice cream here.  Have you ever had their almond ice cream, it's great."

To which I replied, "I sorry, me no speaky LONELY."  Actually, said, "Yes, I have.  Thank you." And shut it down immediately.  Look, I have to judge him and not give in to any pity. He's giving us Die Aloners a bad name!  I am alone, not lonely.  If I'm get lonely there's a Craiglist for it! (actually, I don't Craigslist, because I am wary of serial killers.)  Seriously though, when you dine alone, you are in charge of your own entertainment and you are there to eat.  That is it!  If you're lonely, voulunteer some place where there are people.  Pretend to have an addiction and take in some meetings!  Walk by a skin treatment kiosk at the Grove!  But, for piss sakes, DO NOT MAKE RESTAURANT FOLK FEAR DIE ALONERS!!  It's hard enough to get refills on my green tea without the waiter avoiding me because he's worrying that I'm gonna ask about climate change and its affect on springroll stuffin's!  I wish that it was future me sitting next to me, because I would have slugged myself in the face and told me to snap out of it! Cripes! Sometimes, the Trials of Man Solo, aren't about dining alone, but restraining oneself from punching a possible future-self, because it might not be...

I hope I don't have to stay away from Kung Pao some more, the Singapore Mai Fun was superb!

From the Interwebs -Thought for the Day

The Trials of Man Solo - Cramp Ball

Oh my God, You guys!

I almost took my blog literally yesterday!

At 5:30 am, I woke up with my stomach churning and gurgling sounds that only Captain Nemo could have heard before.  I ran to the terlet and thus began my torturous day of hell dealing with FOOD POISONING.  I felt terrible!  I seriously started to understand suicide as the early hours were filled with so much pain & discomfort and I thought, "what if I'm like this for the rest of my life?  I can't take this!"  I seriously have more empathy for anyone living with chronic pain, because my moments of discomfort were driving me mad, imagine if there was real pain involved.  Again, as I ran to the terlet and back to bed, I lamented not having someone there, but I was also grateful that there was no one there as I embarassed myself with whimpering and whining, because I know there's nothing anyone could have done (except maybe call an ambulance if I passed out and didn't come to) and I would just have to ride it out.  I will say that I'm gratedful that I, at least, have a maid twice a month because as I lay naked on the floor in a cramping ball, I knew it was clean.

At about noon I had a great vomiting session where I could feel my condition lessen immediately after.  Still, I was weak and my stomach & back were terribly achy.  My thinking became clearer and any thoughts of ending it all were safely away, (I never seriously contemplated it, but I did gain some understanding of it) but my thoughts weren't any less dramatic as I thought, "I almost died today!"

So, I barely escaped dying alone.  Thank goodness I had contacted my boss and a DAB, or two, so that if I did die of food poisoning, it wouldn't be a week or two before my naked body was discovered on my bathroom floor.  I did try to tidy up, just in case...