Being in my current alone condition, sadly, I haven't had the occassion to share a bed in a very long time. Sure, I've shared neked activities, I just haven't slept with anyone in it. So here I am in Palm Springs and somehow, a new place means I don't have a room to myself and have to share a bed this year. I am worried. I'm not worried about any hanky panky, I'm worried that I am a bad bedmate. Last night, I let my bed bud fall asleep before I got in to my side of the bed. I gingerly lifted the blanket & top sheet, slid in carefully and plopped heavily into my spot. I didn't sleep very soundly as I tried to keep to my side of the bed, laying tightly, like a mummy, hugging the edge of the bed. Then, when I adjusted I had to be careful not to pull the blankets over to my side. Finally, my Bedmate Kryptonite; I snore. I've only had one significant relationship and I know that it all came crashing down in thirteen months for the simple reason that I snore. The noise itself led to other actions and behaviors that ate away at the fabric of our union, like a little Mexican mouse in a box of cheese cloth. Since then, I've not let anyone spend the night for fear that no matter how good our bed activies are or how much they like me, they would not stay more than one night.
This is why I am single, the damage that my snoring has done to a previous relationship has made me bed shy and wary of letting anyone close enough to hear the real me. This morning, I asked my bed bud if my snoring bothered him and he said it hadn't. Tonight he asked for the earplugs I offered. I honestly don't know if I'll ever get over my fear of sharing a bed, but at least I might not have to share a room next Thanksgiving!
No comments:
Post a Comment