S'up, Muh DAB? - Muh DABs Are Numbered!

 

Well, along with the story of Brett’s wedding comes the unavoidable realization;

Muh DABs are numbered!

 I used to have a good deal of DABs, now, they’re dropping like flies.

It all started with my first and best Die Alone Buddy, Ted.

 

We’ve been friends since early high school years and are still thick as molasses in caramel!

When I moved out of my home town, I certainly didn’t expect Ted to stop going out and enjoying the single life.  As a matter of fact, when he came to visit me, he opened a few of the Single Life in LA doors for me.  I can easily say, nobody enjoyed being single more than Ted in those days.

Whenever we got together and hit whichever town we were in,

We always had a great time and left a few handsome admirers smiling in our wake.
Paris is still smiling.

What with us living single lives in different cities for years, I guess it was only a matter of time before one of us would fall into some marriage.

So, on Valentine’s Day 2014, bye-bye Single Ted.

Not long after, muh DAB Oscar fell prey to some guy and he got hitched in April 2014.

Oscar and I started acting together in Chico’s Angels in 2003

Not long after, we were hanging out and doing a bunch of stuff together, including traveling and enjoying international guy ogling.

But, no more.

 June 2017, Jerry marries Greg.

                                       

I met Jerry through Brett. 
Many were the evenings of friend events that included much laughter, drinks & man hunting.

I’ll never forget our Miami trip in 2003,

 but I can forget about Dying Alone with Jerry.

 Brett marries Andrew in 2019…

Somewhere along the way Avery has married Koppany.

 Lastly, Ray marries Daran in December 2021.

I didn’t hang out with Ray nearly as much as I did with Oscar during the Chico’s Angels days, but we did share some great times out, and may have gone after the same guy on more than one occasion…

 

Of course, I am happy for all of them and I still get to enjoy the company of most of them, still, along with their husbands,

But, now that they have someone to grow old with, where does that leave me?

 Where does it leave the ever shrinking group of DABs I fantasized would all live in a converted Mid-Century Motel, where each has his own room, with the office/lobby converted into the best den/living room/dining room where we could hang out and plan our next scandalous trip to Miami or Puerto Vallarta?

Speaking of which, who are the DABs I still have left?

There’s the ever reliable Dennis.

We met over 20 years ago and Dennis was the original hub through which I met many of my current friends. We hang and it’s good.

There’s Glenn.  

I met him through Dennis, of course, and he lives very near me, so we share meals often and see each other so much that we bicker like an old married couple and I am always right.

Most of my out & about time is spent with Dennis and Glenn.  There isn’t as much man chasing as there was a few years ago and the pandemic sure put a damper on dating, so we participate in various DAB activities.

My Long Distance DAB is Rich.

I met him through Brett decades ago and I usually see him when I visit New York and on our fabulous DAB Travel Adventures, like the one in Puerto Vallarta.

I will say the Rich is quite the inspirational Man Hunter, from whom I’m still learning.

Also on the Roster is Dudley.

We’ve known each other for years and, for me, Dudley has taken on the mantle of The Hub and is very socially active.

I admire his energy, creativity and ability to get shit done!  I also admire his fearless movements in the social environs of Gay.

I feel like we could stand to be closer.  That has all to do with me shying away from invitations, or keeping myself too busy for love or even forming new DABs.
We’re growing.

Same goes for Steven

We’re relatively new and I sense new and exciting adventures ahead for us.

I even have an Honorary DAB, Geoffy.
I’ve known him the longest of all muh DABS, past & present.

He’s honorary because he’s of the straight persuasion.  We probably don’t seem like the most likely of friends… (“What could they possibly have in common?” I’ve heard someone ask.)
We have plenty enough in common to carry the history of our friendship going on over 20 years. We have a sense of kinship, loyalty, with maybe, a touch of duty behind our relationship.

Geoffy exists mostly separately from my other DABs.  That is mainly because of the gay element within the confines of the DAB definition concocted only for this Blog and entertainment purposes.
I’ll just say, that in the end, Geoff is perfectly welcome to stay in my fantasy converted motel; hetero & all.

There’s a few more, but I shan’t list them, for fear I may scare them away.

So, while my long standing DABs are falling away from singledom and evolving into dear, loving Married Folk, I won’t distress too much because I still have a handful of DABs with whom I can enjoy singledom as we age.  Also, I'm going to need some time to get the money to find and buy that motel I'm fantasizing about!

Single Perks - One and Done!

On my recent trip to New York, I threw together an impromptu Sunday brunch with some of my NY favorites.

Two invitees were immediate yeses, while one was a tentative maybe. 

You see, the maybe, whom I’ll call Erin, ‘cause that’s her name, was having a hard time giving a solid yes because her husband wasn’t feeling well,

while their child was just getting over an illness, which was just part of a vicious cycle of sickness being passed from person to person in their household.

It was then that it occurred to me how fortunate I am to be single in these times of contagion.  You see, when I get sick, I stay home, nurse myself, then get right back out there.

These unfortunate people who have a mate, or worse a mate and a child (or maybe even children!) have to get sick, pass it on, nurse those who caught it, then get sick again!

Sure, I’ve whined about not having anyone to bring me soup & gluten-free crackers and put the Netflix on Black Mirror for me,

but I’d much rather endure a few days of that than the weeks of recycled disease that comes with another person breathing the same apartment air!

Here's the brunch club: me, Thom Storr, Erin Quill and Richard Cramer

As you can see from the photo above, Erin made it to brunch, but I'll tell you; 

not having to worry that you'll have have to endure a cycle of germs constantly flying around you for weeks because you live alone... Them's the perks!

Getting Out - Blue State to Blue State

After completing my last show for Chico's Angels' November run...

I hopped a plane and headed to New York!  I needed a little break from the tension of the election madness and knew that a few Broadway shows would hit the spot.

I contacted muh DAB, Richard, and asked him to join me for a TKTS night.  That's the half price ticket booth and I've taken to doing that the day I fly in ever since I missed SOUTH PACIFIC because of a delayed flight.  That was $130 I didn't get back.  To be clear, I rushed home from my theater, got a few hours sleep, rushed to LAX, flew 5 hours, got in a cab, hit my resting place, rushed to Times Square, got out Tix, rushed to a quick dinner and rushed to the theatre to see FIDDLER ON THE ROOF

It beat out newer shows that were available because it is closing soon and I've never seen a big time production of it. (Not since April, anyway)  The performances were really good, but while the production itself was very good, it didn't offer any surprises or special thrills.   Richard & I had a fab time.

Today, I brunched with Richard, then headed to my Matinee...

I saw NATASHA, PIERRE & THE GREAT COMET of 1812.  It was delightful!  The Imperial Theatre has been remodeled to accommodate audience members on stage and bring the playing space further into the house, for a more immersive experience.  It reminded me very much of the For The Record productions that I've been enjoying for the past few years (Remember SCORSESE?)  As for the show itself, I enjoyed it very much and bought the Original Cast Recording as I left.  I didn't realize, of course, that the CD I bought didn't feature Josh Grobin and Denee Benton, whom I had just seen and were awrsome.  So I'll hold on to this one, but look forward to a Original BROADWAY Cast Recording.

I had three hours to kill before my next show, so I went over to the 42nd Street movie theaters, but nothing line-up time-wise (Really Marvel, super hero movies at 2 hours +? ( I don't mind when I'm not on a shedule))  So I went to Times Square to people watch...

Sometimes just watching folk ain't so bad, right?

Then, as I was walking around, I saw Hair & The City and decided to get a much need buzz.

I may be going to the theatre alone, but I'll be looking snazzy doing it!

Speaking of going to the theatre, I made it to my seat with plenty of Instagram viewing time before the start of this evening's show, THE FRONT PAGE

I came to this show despite my aversion to Nathan Lane- one of the ickiest people, ever.

I enjoyed the show and am glad I got to see a play this outing, I always try to throw a play in amongst all the musicals.  The performances were enjoyable, Jefferson Mays was very, very good and one of a number of stars that seemed too large for their roles.  With a huge, talented cast like this one, you can't go wrong and the show is worth seeing- especially because Nathan Lane doesn't come in 'til well into the second act!

I have one more day and two more shows and while I am seriously underdressed for the weather and haven't been hit on once, I feel great with my new head buzz and inspired by the shows I've seen.  My only regret is that I haven't seen many of my NY Friends- and even though I had about 3 hours to kill today, it all seems so crammed together.  I guess that's what coming in on a Friday, instead of a Thursday does to me, but I will make an effort to see some the New Yorkers I love.  It's not always so easy getting out!