AUGUST In February; or When Mother Loved SHREK

Today is my mother's 82nd birthday!

I love my mother and am grateful for every birthday she gets.

I remember I wanted to do something special for her 70th birthday, a while back.

While those thoughts were forming in my head, 

my sisters were talking about a special gathering for that occasion 

with the siblings that were scattered amongst three states

coming together.

Of course, that made sense.

I still wanted to do something special for her

and finally thought, why wait until her 70th?

So, for her 69th birthday, 

I took her to New York.

What would be more special than sharing something I love

with the mother I love?

That whirlwind weekend

included site seeing, tasty meals and

SEVEN BROADWAY SHOWS.

Yes, I think I exhausted my mother

with the stage.

We saw, in order; HEDDA GABLER, starring Mary Louise Parker, 

SHREK THE MUSICAL, 
BILLY ELLIOT THE MUSICAL,

AUGUST OSAGE COUNTY,

IN THE HEIGHTS,

PAL JOEY...

I loved showing my Ma around the town

and she seemed to have a good time.

Nowadays, memories are slipping away from her, 

but she still remembers going to the Big Apple with me.

I've chosen my favorite pics of her on that trip,

hopefully as a reminder to her of some of the details...

...And, of course, because I am me, 

our last full day in New York was her 69th birthday

and the last show we saw was

MAMA MIA

because that's who she is!

I may visit New York very often,

but there will never be as special a visit

as the one with my mother,

when we were on the top of the world together!

I LOVE YOU, MA!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Gay of A Certain Age - Everybody's Talking About Danny

I just wartched the 

EVERYBODY'S TALKING ABOUT JAMIE

on the Amazon Prime.

It's a movie version of the West End hit stage musical

of the same name.

First, I enjoyed it very much.

It was interesting to me that,

when I was growing up 

the gay movies were all about the torture of being gay

and finally coming out.

...that and everygay dying of the AIDS.

Now, the kids these days get to see

the gay kids openly gay, but still dealing with the same stuff

or a slightly different version  of it.

In this story,

the openly gay kid

must deal with the trauma of wanting to be a drag queen.

I'm pleased that there is mention of the generations of previous gays

whose struggles make it easier for today's young gays

to be open and out.

As a matter of fact, 

Richard E. Grant, 

was my favorite actor/character in the movie.

Anywho, 

while the main character, 

I think his name is, Jaime,

is having the familiar struggles with his father,

it's refreshing to see him have a very loving and supportive mother,

who accepts her son for who he is 

and encourages him to be who he wants to be.

She even buys him a pair of  glittery red heels to do it in!

This is realistic, 

because it is totally based on a real mother and son.

Lovely!

It's also realistic because I have my own very own

loving and supportive mother.

I'll call her "Patty",

because her name is Patricia.

Of course, because it is a theatrical story 

and there needs to be crisis to overcome,

Jamie has a moment when he gets very angry with his mother

and says some very awful things to her.

...Even though she bought him some lovely shoes!

I think back to my time with my Ma,

and while I'm sure there were many times that 
I took her for granted,

was snotty to her,

or just didn't appreciate

how difficult it must have been to raise four kids on her own,

sometimes working two jobs

and not having much time for herself,

I NEVER said anything intentionally hurtful to her!

It was at this point

that I decided I hated Jamie.

Of course, as they do,

things worked out and Jamie

finally appreciated how lucky he was to have the mother that he does

and they share a wonderful moment

when he finally gets to be a drag queen,

The End!

This reminded me of my mom and me.
Even though it wasn't my life long dream to be a drag queen,

I have always known I wanted to be a performer

and be on stage.

I am fortunate to have performed

on stage

in front of an audience

every year, since I was in high school.

(For 18 years, it's happen to be mostly in drag)

There are many times when my mother could not make it to my performances

in high school & college.

I am happy to say that she has been to L.A.

and seen me in CHICO'S ANGELS

a few times,

but the moment the Jamie movie reminded me of most

was at the 

Best In Drag Show 2018!

It was a fundraiser for

Alliance For Housing and Healing, as well as for Aid for AIDS.

It was a pageant

that we prepared for for 6 months

had very little rehearsal 

and went up in a huge theatre

(The gorgeous Orpheum)

full of over 2,000 people.

It was very exciting.

Here's a picture of me

for my talent portion 

with my talent partner Duke.

I chose this picture because it is colorful, fun

and Duke is shirtless.


Anyway,

the show went very well

and I had a lot of support from the audience,

so my Ma got to experience some applause and hooting for her son

throughout the night.

Luckily, I won!

It was a grand experience, 

to be sure,

but the best part was seeing how 

happy and proud my Ma was.

I'm pretty sure she wasn't so excited just because I was in drag,

it was because, 
while she was working so hard to support her kids

and I was spending my time in school plays

and drama tournaments,

then, majoring in theatre in college,

instead of something "more practical",

she got to experience the excitement and energy

of a huge theatre full of people

cheering her son on,

and enjoying the silly things he was doing on stage

in a dress
(6 dresses actually).

And to top it off,

her son helped to raise over half a million dollars

for worthy causes.

That's something to be proud of!

So, as if winning the pageant

wasn't enough of a spiritual boost,

seeing that smile on my Ma's face

showed me I hadn't wasted my time 

in high school & college.

(I'm taking this very moment to apologize to my Ma,

who for some reason, made it to see me in 

the worst production, high school or otherwise,

of  MAN OF LA MANCHA.  
It was just AWFUL and I cry when I think she spent all day at work,

then, probably skipped dinner,

to get to the high school auditorium in time.
I only hope she slept through it.)

So, congratulations to the real life Jamie!

As a Gay of A Certain Age, I know how important

and fortunate it is to have a wonderful,

loving and supportive mother!

My Ma came to visit recently,

and we shared a wonderful drag moment

by having a fabulous impromptu Kaftan fashion shoot

by the pool.

"It's Called Fashion Look It Up"

Apparently the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree!

If you want to know more about my 
BEST IN DRAG SHOW journey,

you can read about it
HERE

Happy Easter!

As you know, I enjoy crafting my own greeting cards, whenever possible.  I was quite delighted to receive a handmade card from my dear mother.  I know I am very lucky to have had the loving, hard working mother I have had and lucky, still, to have her around.  I love this card almost as much as I love her!  I sent her one of the few cards I crafted for Easter.

Don't worry!! I crafted one for you!

HAPPY EASTER!

This Is Why I Am Single - Fueling the Fire

As you may know, I've been rather busy, if not running around in a dress & heels, then funning with my friends and keeping up with social obligations.  Even in a rush, I'm sometimes surprised when I realize the reason why I do some of the things I do.  For example, I like my iced tea unsweetened, but I prefer my coffee creamy and sweet.  Why not unsweetened like my tea? Why don't I like my tea sweet?  It occurred to me one day that I liked my coffee that way because when I was pre-school and staying with my grandma, I'd ask to join her in her morning coffee.  Not wanting to make me feel left out, she poured me some java.  I realized that she would pour a bit coffee into a mug of milk for me.  Since I realized that, every cup of creamy coffee is a sweet reminder of Grandma.  Well, running around lately, as I have been, I didn't keep an eye on fuel gauge as I usually do.  I kept driving to my destinations with the thought of, 'I'll get gas on the way home". Then, I would forget to do it.  Of course, a little late on my way to an engagement further away than most, I was so upset with myself that I had let my tank get so low and I had to stop for gas, making myself later.  That moment of regret was compounded by the sudden flashback to my mother in a mini-rant about my alleged father always using her car and leaving the tank empty.  She told my juvenile self to refuel when I reach half a tank.  Come to think of it, I usually do, and most certainly if I reach a quarter tank!  I realized this is something I do because my mother was so upset and I didn't want to be like my alleged father, but here I was, running late and having to stop for gas.  Is it more because I don't want to upset my mother or because I don't want to be like my alleged father, always skitting around on the verge of having pushed it too far and dying out?  Prolly a combination of the two, no?  It's these little revelations that sometimes explode into bigger personal dramas or, worse, personal excuses...

This Is Why I Am Single; sometimes I'm like my alleged father.

Now, please enjoy a vintage photo of me with my coffee-pushing Grandma, prolly right after a cup o' morning joe...

Getting Out - Busters

Last night, instead of going home after work, sitting on the sofa and using a Ouija Board to try to bring back KNOTS LANDING, I joined my friends for dinner and a movie.  We dined & hooched at Marmalade Cafe, where I enjoyed an Italian chopped salad and a raspberry lemondrop.  After, we walked over to the Pacific Cinema at the Grove and watched GHOSTBUSTERS.  As you can see from the above photo, two of the group were of the female variety.  At dinner one of them said something that struck me as sad.  She said, "We saved this viewing with you guys, even though we really wanted to go opening weekend to support female driven movies."  It's sad because this movie can't just be a typical summer movie remake, it fails or succeeds only because there are all female leads.  It pisses me off that the industry and a lot of America still feel this way.

I enjoyed the movie because I found it funny and entertaining.  Not because it was four women making me laugh, but because what they did was funny.  Some of the laughs were big, some chuckles, some missed the mark- regardless of what sex the person delivering the goods was.  If the movie was bad because of bad direction, incompetent editing or poor story telling, it still would fail because  something "female driven" is a big risk.  Despite how many successful movies starring female casts there are, it's still a risk.  Sadly, it's not just Hollywood spewing this crap...

This election season, aside from all the typical party bashing, there are still those out there who say they will not vote for a woman president.  That's simply ridiculous.  Regardless of her many years of top level political experience and service, for some, she's not good enough to be president because she is a woman. How is this still a way of thinking?  Mortifyingly, there are some women who think this way, too.  Why should I care... I'm a guy.

Maybe I care because I love and respect my mother, who worked very hard to raise four kids on her own.  There was a time when I first moved to L.A., I was almost thirty years old and barely able to pay my bills, with exception of free rent in Van Nuys... and I thought to myself, "Cripes!  At thirty my mother had four kids to support!" I couldn't imagine having four kids at that time and I knew I certainly wouldn't be enjoying the life that I was leading. To be truthful, my bills included auto insurance, gas money, food, credit cards that I had given up on trying to pay and my regular Gay Day every Tuesday in West Hollywood.  I lived check to check working as an extra in movies & TV and doing script coverage.  Those were hardly back-breaking jobs.  How did my mother do it?  I get miffed when I think maybe she could have made more money if she was a man, making it a little easier on her.  Just knowing how hard my mother worked and a lifestyle she didn't get to enjoy because for 30 years she had someone to take care of, makes me blow my stack because people have this way of thinking that a woman is not as good, as strong, as capable or respectable as a man. 

Hopefully in the near future, people can be appreciated as individuals regardless of sex, age, race or sexual orientation.  Because of my Ma, that way of thinking was Busted for me, early on.  Hopefully GHOSTBUSTERS, will bust a few more things this summer.  

This Why I Am Single

I blame my mother.  She did too good a job of raising a semi-well adjusted, independent son.  While she didn't actually divorce until after I was out of high school, she raised four children by herself.  The man I call "my alleged father" was in and out during that time, and when he was around, he was more of a burden to her than help.  I must have been really spoiled because, growing up I had no idea how difficult it must have been for her.  Now, I have no idea how she clothed and fed four happy children.  I knew, sometimes, that we were doing without, but I never felt lacking in the important things.  There were two or three years that we lived in Government assisted housing and used food stamps, but I never learned to feel any shame about it.   Sure, we kids weren't angels, but today we all are responsible adults and all family gatherings are almost disappointingly drama-free.  I think a large part of the reason we grew up with good attitudes is that my mother spoke to us, when we were naughty; she'd explain to us why what we did was wrong and why we shouldn't do it.  My cousins used to hate getting in to trouble at our house because they'd have to sit through the lecture, they preferred the Spank & Go method.

My mother never told me how hard she was working.  It's just as I look back that I realize how she went to work every day and came home exhausted, made sure we were fed and was in bed by 9 to start all over again.  I also see that I could have made it a little easier on her.  Still, because her schedule was so limited, I learned to do my own laundry, how to hate ironing (I do not iron!), how to cook my own meals and how to deal with minor situations on my own.  I learned how to handle myself, yet I'm not too proud to ask for help if I need it.  (I may try a little too long to try to do something on my own, but ultimately I will make the call.)  So, it is through her example,
and a little to her absence, that I have learned to be fiercely independent.  I'm not saying I don't need anybody, but I will survive if I don't find someone. The most important thing, I can take my time.