Sunday, March 15, 2015
Gay of a Certain Age- I Need Space After My Period
I've enjoyed writing ever since I can remember learning to put words together. I enjoy playing with words so much now that, sometimes I write stuff that I find terribly amusing that other people think is, at best, "Huh"-trocious. I remember when actually writing was more work than it is now. Writing on a typewriter was intimidating sometimes, because if you messed up and didn't realize it until later in your text, you were screwed! Now, you can move your cursor and delete, correct and continue. I remember taking a typing class in high school because I was going to need to type in College and beyond! I sat in a room with 30 other kids for six months typing "I I I I I I...E E E E E" with the correct fingers for an hour every day until I could type 30 words a minute with no errors. That was quite a lofty goal for me, and I never really learned to look at the source page rather than the keyboard... but I felt like I earned the right to call myself a writer.
There was always something romantic about hearing the typehammer slap the type right on to the paper, or the chug-a-chug of back spacing for half a line and the smell of the ink ribbon. Of course now, writing is very easy, with hunt & peck more the order of the day, rather than the splayed fingers in the QWERTY positions. Certainly my typing skills have deteriorated, but I do still find myself spacing my fingers and typing (almost) correctly when I'm not thinking about it.
It used to be that one had to think about what they were going to write and spend some time actually smacking it onto a page. Don't get me wrong I LOVE the convenience of modern writing, I just kind of miss the process - or at least the idea of it. I think it's too easy to push a button, type out 140 or so characters and push send. All this goes to my fond memories of sitting in a classroom, patiently learning a skill and feeling accomplished at the end of it all. That is something I don't think the kids get today. It's why typos are de rigueur in national publications. People just plain don't appreciate what the process used to be, and out with the equipment went the rules. Now, you don't have to do this or that, that was the old way. Well, I'm still holding on to the old ways! I may be making new mistakes, but I'm holding true to the spirit of typing from the old days. Eventually, the old rules will be forgotten by everyone, since they are no longer taught in school (along with handwriting, science and math), but I choose to hold true. I'm still gonna hit the space bar twice after a period!
Why this rant? (space space) click below.
http://www.cultofpedagogy.com/two-spaces-after-period/
I guess this post has nothing to do with being Gay, but so much of our daily lives don't, either.
Right?
Fine, I realized all of this while typing in my fake identity on ManHunt.
Saturday, March 14, 2015
He Don't Even Know! - Phone Sexy
Here's my boyfriend calling me to let me know he's going to be a little late for dinner
because he's going to buy a shirt.
He's really going to get me a surprise from WACKO!
Friday, March 13, 2015
This Is Why I Am Single - The Horror!
Because I haven't given up, I've spent a lot of time scouring the profiles on OkCupid, or as I've taken to calling it, FU Cupid! I start with the picture, if I find them attractive I go to the profile. If they don't sound like they'll take me to a second location from our original date spot in the trunk of their car, I'll move on to the compatibility questions. There I'll find that the match I've made in my head has turned to ashes and crumpled to the floor to be swept away by the winds of FU Cupid's flyaway wings. It is there that I find that they do not like horror movies. I enjoy horror movies very much and I can't imagine spending any real time, hoping to marry a man who doesn't like them!
Sure, I understand some don't like the gore, or maybe supernatural stuff really freaks them out or worse they think horror movies are just plain stupid. I can understand the first two reasons, and I admit some horror movies are stupid beyond enjoyment, but I won't have them dismissed right of the vampire bat! I enjoy horror movies with a sly/dark sense of humor like HOSTEL, THE EVIL DEAD, HOUSE OF THE DEVIL, FINAL DESTINATION. I also enjoy horror moves that are a visceral rush like DAWN OF THE DEAD (2004), 28 DAYS LATER, THE DESCENT, [REC], PREY. Also up there are the ones that are just a fun time like SHAUN OF THE DEAD, EVIL DEAD 2, TREMORS, PIRANHA (2010), SLITHER, DRAG ME TO HELL, ZOMBIELAND. Then there's the ones that are just really good & scary like LET THE RIGHT ONE IN, SILENCE OF THE LAMBS, THE ORPHANAGE, THE CONJURING. I don't love all horror, I need that dark sense of humor, irony or a sense of hope, I didn't like WOLF CREEK or Rob Zombie's HALLOWEEN movies.
Anyway, it's difficult for me to imagine having a partner who can't or won't enjoy these things with me. Certainly, we don't have to do everything together, or even like all of the same things, but this is a big part of my entertainment- I must share my enthusiasm for it with someone who gets it. I don't wanna sit at home suffering through the terrible continuity & murky story telling of the awful and addictive AMERICAN HORROR STORY, or admiring the lush gore, hypnotic score and twists & turns of HANNIBAL all by myself! I need someone to gasp with me, and jump in fear and giggle in ironic delight with me. I need a horror partner! I'm sorry, but it is a deal breaker... or a neck breaker.
Thursday, March 12, 2015
He Don't Even Know! - Fuzzy
Here's my "boyfriend" thinking about snuggling with me on our sofa,
wrapped in the fuzzy blanket our friend Skylar gave us as a prize
for winning the whole game at his "Celebrity Night" party.
(We have an uncanny ability to identify celebrities from eyebrow movements-
and don't even ask how we got Jane Wiedlin of the GoGo's!)
We will definitely be watching
RHODA.
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
A Legend In My Own Timer
One of the aspects of being single is learning to do things on your own.
I love my camera(s) and I am ever grateful for self-timers! I travel alone very often and I place myself in the way of fabulousness all the time and it is very important for me to get a picture of myself in that fabulous place!
It's almost a sport, setting the timer and getting yourself in place, then after the camera has clicked seeing if you got yourself in the right place, checking if you're in focus along with your surroundings or if you're making the face you think you're making. I usually refuse the well meaning, "Do you want me to take the picture for you?", because, really, where's the fun?
The only thing I ask of people is to be aware of their surroundings - and if they see a camera all by itself, balanced precariously on a fence or the edge of a fountain, with a little light blinking on it with increasing speed DON'T STAND IN FRONT OF IT! ...and certainly, don't pick it up!
In the shot above, which we'll call Bryant Park Fail, the idiot reaching for my camera didn't get away with a new toy and I was very annoyed, but more, I was amused with myself and the situation. When you're alone, sometimes it's those awkward interactions that make your day.
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
He Don't Even Know! - South Beach Dream
Here's my South Beach Dream boyfriend
I imagine that he has recorded all episodes of
QUE PASA, USA?
to watch in bed with me
because it's bilingual and we both love
Steven Bauer.
Steven Bauer.
Monday, March 9, 2015
FU Cupid
Like I said, I haven't given up on love.
Actually, the only event I hold in my home every year is CRAFT NIGHT.
Every year, usually in January, I invite friends over for crafting Valentine's Day cards and cocktails. I put out a spread that would make Martha Stewart green with envy, then green with nausea as she studied the materials that are available. There's construction paper, glitter, stickers galore, colorful popsicle sticks, abandoned boa scraps, random feathers, vintage V-Day cards, superhero schoolhouse valentines, post cards, magazine cut outs, pornographic magazines for cutting out and a random red alcoholic concoction that strikes my fancy two hours before folks arrive.
It's always a fun time, where two or three different circles of friends, meet or play catch up. The food is usually from Daphne's Greek Cafe, 'cause that's what the kids like and it's vegan-friendly. The cards created vary from sweetheart, mom-ready to "oh no you di'n't", pornographic. I tend to make both kinds. Of course, I make the cards and have no one to give them to. That's not the point! It is a night to celebrate the love of friends and companions and cherry cream soda mixed with prosecco.
It takes a few hours to set up and a few days to take down... I like to craft a few here and there as ideas hit me throughout the week, leaving me the following Friday or Saturday to dedicate to cleaning up. It's always worth the effort!
So, I present a few of my more ironic, or down right anti, Valentine's Day Cards for your viewing endurement.
' Cause I ain't fucking nothing else!
Goodbye, love Kitty
Right?
Finally, the card that inspired this blog...
BUT REALLY, I HAVEN'T GIVEN UP!!
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