Tonight I'm driving to Palm Springs to celebrate Gay Love with a married pair of friends.
The drive from L.A. to Palm Springs can be rather torturous. If one leaves at the wrong time, it could mean making a usual 2 hour drive into a 5 hour trickle through a sea of bumpers. I, for one, find it difficult to enjoy making a long drive. Sure, I have enjoyed an aimless drive around from time to time, thinking about stuff with the wind blowing through my scalp. There's something about a distant destination with signs every couple of miles letting you know you're not nearly as close as you thought you were to your landing-place that gets me very antsy. I just want to be there. I may speed.
Fortunately, I am hyper-aware that this drive may be a mini-series in the making, or even half a season of GAME OF THRONES, so I have prepared myself. As a Gay of A Certain Age, I have learned to pass the time of a long journey with the help of my iPod, the shuffle function and over 500 upbeat showtunes! That's right, I'll probably get to my hotel thinking, "Wow! That drive was a breeze! It's like I just saw a Broadway double feature!" My friends, Cheyenne Jackson, Michael Ruppert, Marc Kudisch, Faith Prince, Patti Lupone, Laura Benanti, and others will grab me and take me away from the wheel of my Palm Springs bound chariot and place me center stage with them as we sing about Xanadu, Zorba and Xanax! (I love NEXT TO NORMAL, do you know?). My eyes will be on the road, but my voice will be in the sky, mostly because I 'll drive with the moon roof open! So if you're on the 10 or the 60 (I'll decide when I get to that juncture) and you hear some asshole scream singing about Hoping He Gets It, That's me!! Say, "hi!", or applaud, just don't let me see your brake lights!
With all the hoohaw I made about what time I should leave, you'd think I planned everything carefully. Apparently I didn't. I didn't plan on leaving a light on in my car and completely draining my battery. Luckily my friend, Chetto (not his real name) from AAA was able to give me a charge (intended) and get me going (Intended again) on my way with only a 40 minute delay. By the time I got on the road, it was very close to 10:00.
My drive was a breeze!! I got to my hotel by 12:30 and was pleased to find that I had been upgraded to a jr. suite.
Ain't that nice?