This Is Why I Am Single - Facial Scare

This Is Why I Am Single; Sometimes I'll leave my home with weird facial hair happening because something went wrong when I was trimming my beard, but I didn't have enough time to fix it, or shave it all off. I actually walk the streets, in my usual single state & hoping for suitor attention, with this on my face. Is it a beard? Is it a mustache about to sit on a toadstool? Is it the face of a human "Wooly Willy"?     I think it IS that last one!

Yeah, I look like I fell asleep and a five-year-old did my face with a magnet-pen and iron filings.

Who'd wanna date that?  Then again, I know few guys who really appreciate wooly willies!
Oh, well. I guess I'll walk around like this all day and see if it gets me any more attention than my usual face does.  Maybe a facial fetishist will give me a wink! ..or a barber!