Too Busy For Love - It's a Mismatch!

If you had asked me out last week or so, I would have had to turn you down.  You see, I was very busy. I was doing The Mismatch Game at the Renberg Theater at Ed Gould Plaza at the Village at the LGBT Center in Hollywood.  I've been doing the show for over ten years and have loved every minute of it.
The show is the brainchild of Dennis Hensley, who started doing it as birthday party fun and grew it into a fundraiser for the Center.  Over the past ten years, the show has raised over $100,000 for programs aimed at gay youths.
I first started as the Vanna White guy- helping sort prizes and helping Dennis pull names to get people out of the audience and on to the stage as contestants.  Then Dennis finally took pity on me (or was desperate to fill a slot) and let me do Herve Villichaize one weekend in Palm Springs.

I must not have sucked because I found myself in his stable of stars, which also includes people I admire and learn very much from including; Julie Brown, Kate Flannery, Jackie Beat, Jack Plotnick, Sam Pancake, Drew Droege, Tom Lenk, Tony Tripoli, Madeline Long, Patrick Bristow, Kali Rocha and so many, many more.  One particular show, I was seated next to Nicol Paone, doing her spot on Arianna Huffington. She was on fire! So much so that I felt like a molecule next to the sun. It was then that I decided I wanted to up my game, be better and bring more to the show. Maybe I was tired of Herve, but I just didn't feel like I was delivering as well as I might have. (and perhaps could have done a little more preparation.) Dennis let me try something new, Harvey Fierstein.

This one I really tried to prep for. I did my research, got his voice down, but I didn't really shine here either. I'd say I did okay and didn't stand out suck, but it certainly wasn't what I set out to do. I guess if I'd lived in the character a little longer, I would have felt a little more at ease and ready to interact with the others on stage in a more dynamic way. It just felt weird to be up there in a show I'd done for years, feeling like a newbie. Then Dennis, in his wise ways, asked how I'd feel about doing the show as my drag character Reba Areba. I lit up at the idea.

This seems to be the delightful fit I hoped it would be. We play up that Dennis was expecting Reba McEntire, but got me instead. It's always a blast and I'm grateful to Dennis for letting me be a part of it. As a matter of fact, Dennis is a big part of why I'm too busy for love. He constantly has something going on and is always willing to find a way to let me be involved. If you'd like to see what Dennis is up to at any given moment, pop on over to the Blog Cabin over there on the right --> and click the link to his blog, which is connected to his website which also features his way awesome podcast DENNIS, ANYONE?


Okay, then.   I have to go, I'm very busy!

S'up muh DAB - Desperate for a Connection

My blog is fairly new and I still have plenty to say,
but sometimes I worry I'm too focused on me.
So, I found something that is almost, nearly connected to my theme.
On the surface, it's about a webseries called MGR (My Gay Roommate)
It sounds like a show about a pair of guys who have found a nice DAB (Die Alone Buddy) situation, despite being differently oriented.  I haven't had an opportunity to check it out on YouTube, but it sounds terrifically on topic.

What I'm really blogging about is photographer Austin Wondo's blog entry about his
adventurous photo shoot with the two stars of the show, Noam Ash and Austin Bening.
You know I love photography and I've been a fan of Wondo's photography for a few years.
I thought you might enjoy it, too! (There's a link to his full NSFW blog in the Blog Cabin, over to the right ->)

And just so there appears to be a connection, I'm posting a pic of me and my former roommate of over ten years ago.  I don't think I ever thought we'd die alone together, but in any case, he lives in Ft. Lauderdale now, so it's an official DAB Fail.

He Don't Even Know! - A Remote Chance

This is "Terry",
He wears sunglasses

because they're mysterious
and he is unexpectedly & delightfully shy!

I'll always pretend to remember
our first in-home date at his place.

He turned on the TV,

hit some random button on the remote,

and turned very red with embarrassment.

His faulty button push revealed

that he had the entire final season of 

THE MENTALIST

all saved up to watch.

He gave me the sweetest kiss

when I told him I like the show, too!
We bent-spooned on the sofa and
started watching right then!
I know how it ends.

Gay of a Certain Age - San Francisco Days End

This book was published on January 21, 2014.  I could not wait to read it!  I pre-ordered it three months in advance.  I carefully moved books around to make room for this one next to the other TALES books.  I have not read it.  I haven't read it because THE DAYS OF ANNA MADRIGAL is the last book in a series of books that have meant very much to me.  As a Gay of a certain age, I was there when the six-hour mini-series based on the Original TALES OF THE CITY aired on PBS in 1994.  I watched the show over three nights and ate it up like an entire season of Knots Landing in six hours.  It was the first time I had seen gay characters treated like regular folks and it's probably no coincidence that I finally admitted to myself that I was gay less than a year later.
After seeing the mini-series, I immediately bought the book and zipped through it.  Mind you, I'm not one to dedicate much time to reading, but I sat and read all six books in the series, one after another and wished for more.  I remember reading and wishing I had a friend like Mouse (Nevermind that I already did...).  After letting the books settle within me, I turned it around and wished that I could BE a friend like Mouse.  I think in some ways I have succeeded, in many ways not.  Not only did the books influence my behavior, but the unlikely adventures featured in these magical books, helped me to look at people in a different way.  Instead of thinking, "What the fuck is wrong with them?" I would take time to imagine their own private Tale and writing off their behavior toward me as a direct result of accidentally dating a child pornographer.
I grew to love the characters, and would see the faces of the perfectly cast original stars of the first TALES whenever I thought about them. (There were Showtime presentations of the next two books that declined in quality- as far as treatment of the material).
I got so excited when Armistead Maupin revived the series with MICHAEL TOLIVER LIVES and followed up with Mary Ann Singleton's story.  Then, finally, this; THE DAYS OF ANNA MADRIGAL, which is said to wrap everything up.  I don't want it to end.  These books were there when I was at an early stage of self acceptance and started up again as I was accepting that my spunky attitude and a crapload of colorful plastic things may be all I have to keep me company.
Maybe I'm holding on to the memory without appreciating the influence.  Perhaps these books are more like training wheels that need to come off of my bike.

I think I can read the last book and let go of these people- this person, Anna Madrigal who embodied that strength of spirit, that generosity of love & acceptance, that absence of judgement, that teacher of life and that dispenser of truth that I hope I can be, even in the smallest way, sometime.  I will be brave, like Anna, and read this last book and hope that I can accept where it leaves me.
So, once more, I'll be transported to San Francisco, but it'll be up to Mr. Maupin to determine whether I return a wreck or at peace.  Wish me luck.

He Don't Even Know! - The Eyes Have It!

Say hello, to my "Boyfriend", Abby!

His real imaginary name is David.
I call him Abby because one night we got a little tipsy

on Vanilla Lemon Drops,

shaved his face,
went to this video on YouTube

and applied make-up until 

he resembled Donna Mills.
(Luckily, I had a blonde wig on hand)
With those beautiful eyes, how could we not?

That's what I love most about Abby,

He's always up for an impromptu madcap adventure!

S'up, Muh DAB? - Glenn

This is Glenn, he's one of my DABs- (Die Alone Buddy).
Glenn is a fellow single fella who's currently dating or just meeting guys.
We live close to each other and share close friends, so we spend a lot of time together.
...mostly eating.  I don't mind eating alone, sometimes I prefer it, but it is nice to have someone to talk to or yell at.
Did I say yell at?  Yep, I did.  Over meals and movies and various social events, Glenn and I have fallen into a The Bickersons type relationship. We bicker, argue, or sometimes say just plain awful things to each other.  Why?  Now, in gay friendships (probably hetero ones, too) there's usually a little bit of catty play in groups, where we make fun of each other, then reflectively, make fun of ourselves, but I've noticed that there's usually a one-on-one Bickersons pair that stands out.  Maybe it's just me, because I know I've had this type of relationship with other friends, and seldom two at the same time.  It's interesting to me how we'll turn the simplest exchanges into arguments, or if not arguing, use an argumentative tone.  We make "yes, thank you" sound like the closing statement in a mass murder trial.
I know we're just playing.  God, I hope he knows we're just playing...  But, what is it with these friendships where aggression takes the lead?  Is it a fun, playful way to get out the frustration of other areas of our lives?  When I unleash the hounds because Glenn can't think of a place where he wants to have dinner, is it really me reacting to not being happy with having to work the reception desk on Fridays, now?
When Glenn angrily agrees to brunch at Hugo's, AGAIN, is it really because his dog is an idiot?
I care about Glenn; I care about his life, his relationships, his happiness and we enjoy so many things together, so I don't know what it could possibly be that makes us bicker.  When did we mutually & silently agree to be each other's punching bag?  When I tell him I hate him so much for picking MAPS TO THE STARS last Friday night, he knows I don't really hate him, right?  I'm sure he was kidding when he added "...for you." to "That was pretty good."   I do know that when we have actually had an issue (a rarity), the tone is more quiet and serious, so I know we're not playing.
Should I worry, or is this a regular and legitimate type of friendship?
Do we all need someone we can be an asshole with?

This isn't my first ride on the Gay Movie Cliche-go-round, so, no, I'm certain there is no sexual tension.  This ain't a MOONLIGHTING thing where we argue instead of schtupping. (If it was, I'd be the Dave.  I don't know if Glenn is the Maddie, but I am definitely the Dave.)  So, I don't know what it is.  All I know is we enjoy each other's company, like movies a lot and care about some of the same stuff & people.  I know that if there was trouble, I could turn to Glenn and he could turn to me. I imagine that conversation would end like this, "FINE! I'll donate my damned kidney, but next week we're eating at Salt's Cure!"  So, I'm secure in our friendship, but I'm not sure if this type of playfulness is something we both need, or need to cut out.  I trust we'll figure it out.  I 'd like our friendship to be a healthy one, because dying alone can be lonesome sometimes.

This Is Why I Am Single - Jesus Cripes!

Apparently, this guy died on a cross so that I wouldn't be able to get married.  I don't know how he knew that it would be an issue, over 2,000 years later, but he did it.  Now, some people think he died for everyone's sins, and was all about peace & love.  Not true!  He died so that Republicans could slip his name into any issue in order to get support from the masses.  He died so that gay folk may not get married, so that gay folk may not see their loved ones in hospitals, and so that gay folk could be murdered in his name.  He never said anything like that in The Bible, if you believe in that sort of thing.  He died, so that people would follow ink and paper to the literal rule, rather than follow their hearts and minds.  He died so that people could get rich by mentioning his name.  He died so that Mathew Shepard could burn in Hell.  What an asshole.
I personally don't think this guy died for all those things.  I don't think he's an asshole.  I think he died because he tried to show that his God was not what everyone else was saying he was.  I think he died because churches had become places of profit, rather than worship.  I think, if I believe the Bible, that he hung out with a whore and 12 other guys who went fishing a lot.  I don't think he'd have trouble with guys who like guys.
Who I do think are assholes are those who use his name to forward their hate, fear mongering and profit.  The ones who are assholes are those who disrespect others who choose not to believe that Jesus is all that and a bag of wafers, and try force others to live by their religious beliefs.  Why should anyone be forced to live by the Bible, anymore than they are forced to live by the Quran or by Erma Bombeck's The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank?   I shouldn't be forced to live by anyone's religious beliefs.  I should be able to engage in a civil ceremony without any religious faction telling me that I may not.  It's as simple as that.

I'm not even dating anyone, so what do I care?

I care, because the oppressive energy behind this religious fervor is disheartening.  When I am told that I can not get married, I'm told I can not be loved.  Bam.  What is marriage, nowadays, but the ultimate expression of love?  Why does someone date someone else? Isn't it to find who they love enough to spend the rest of their lives with them?  To find someone to stay with until death parts them?  To say to me that I may not get married is to say to me that I am sentenced to die alone.
I have a very dear cousin who has said to me, that God does not and will not honor my marriage. That I may not get married.  I don't know if he realizes that he has said to me; that I may not express my love of someone else; that if I may not reach the destination of marriage, why bother making the the trip? Why bother trying to find someone that you can't marry, and if you're not married, you are living in sin.  If you express physical love with someone you are not married to, you are sinning. God hates sin. God hates you.  God meant for you to be alone.  Die alone.

Certainly, I don't believe any of those things are true, but my cousin does.  He chooses to believe that God does not want me to be with someone.  

Or maybe, somewhere in the back of my mind I do believe it.  Maybe that's why I've gone this long without finding someone.  Maybe I am alone because a while back, someone who is so close to me told me that I am unworthy of love.

FUCK THAT!  I'm not a religious person.  I'm not sure whether I believe in God or not, but I do know that I have lived a terribly fortunate life, I can find good in myself & other people and I feel, at times, blessed.  I know that I can respect that people believe things differently than I do, and I do not try to force them to believe as I do.  I do not try to force them to go by my rules.  I am confident that if there is a God, I am as he made me and nobody who claims to worship that same God can honestly tell me any different.

All I can say is, at the moment, I am single and alone.

 DOES THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY?