This Is Why I Am Single - Geography Is Destiny

So there's this guy I enjoy spending time with, I'll call him "Beardy McHat".  We have a nice energy together and we don't mind touching each other with poking sticks.  Here's the thing, I drove down to Redondo Beach, where he lives and we had a very nice time, which included sharing a lovely sunset. Unfortunately, it never happened again.  We didn't magically connect and even though he works in L.A., we never got our schedules in synch.  So, while we still have some of that sparky stuff when we happen to be in the same place, we haven't taken it any further.  It's unlikely that we will in the foreseeable future.  I think part of the reason is this stupid item I have in my arsenal of
Alone Weaponry, which is the label of Geographically Undisirable. Is Beardy McHat geographically Undisirable? Redondo Beach is 18 miles away from West Hollywood, so yes.  Definitely YES.  He's a fine fella and I like the cut of his jib, and he likes the uncut of mine, but honestly, can I drive that long on the 405 and not take it out on him once I get there?  I get crabby standing in line at the super fancy market check out, imagine my crab level in stop-start traffic for 18 miles!  Sure, he drives that distance every day to work and says he doesn't mind it, but I guess that's where our jibs differ.  I might as well wear red driving gloves, I get so crabby.

Geographical Undisirability is not a snobby label.  It has very little to do with where someone lives, it's all about how far they live.  Live in a valley? Okay, but how close is it to me? Live in a cardboard shack? Fine, but how far away is it? Friggin' A, a beach house? But, how long does it take to get there?  I have friends who have dated guys in Long Beach who say it's no problem, but come on!  I get off work at 6:00, then go home to shower & stuff in order to leave home by 7:00, drive for an hour or so to get there by 8:30, an hour and a half for dinner and I'm not negotiating a make-out session until 10:00 PM, all the time trying to figure out how long we can make-out, before I have to hit the road so that I can get home in time to get to sleep so that I'm not a zombie at work the next day.  It's exhausting just writing it out! No thanks!

This Is Why I Am Single; I'm lazy and crabby when it comes to driving.  I'm willing to date someone who lives a fair distance away, I'm just not likely to drive to them.  Doesn't that limit my chances of finding "the one"?  Yes, but that's also why this article is called what it is.  Let's chalk this up to a personal selfish foible that "the one" is willing to over-look, if indeed he is someone who lives not so close to me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to check to see if there is any actual milage mark that constitutes a "Long Distance" relationship. I'm sure if there is, it'll include a sliding border that accounts for wet weather of any moisture level, road repair, Hollywood Bowl events and Cancer/AIDS fundraisers involving running, biking or walking.

Happy Labor Day!

I hope your Labor Day Weekend was a good time!
I, of course, was very busy!!
I wrapped up the summer run of Chico's Angels 3: Chicas In Chains:

I took in a hip birthday party

Enjoyed a movie & coffee with friends

and topped it all off with a visit to Sprinkles Ice Cream!

(To be honest, the butter pecan was okay, the cherry vanilla was not good, but the company was great!)

Now, off to bed, then to work and back to the business of being single...

Single Perks - Out & About

I'm reminiscing about the time I went to Madrid for my birthday
and now I have a hankering to travel somewhere that I've never been,
like Rio, Thailand or Bismarck, North Dakota! (one of my goals in life is to visit all of the United States and I've only got 10 to go- right down the middle of the country).
Being single, I have the advantage of just picking up and going when it suits me & my schedule alone!  That's right, I don't have to worry about a partner's work schedule or obligation to their dog from a previous relationship.  I don't have to take into consideration someone else's commitment to be in someone's wedding.  All I have to worry about is my DVR's recording capacity!

You've read me whine about the trials of traveling alone, but now, I've asked my friend Google about single gay travel, and a few things popped up!  One of the most promising is this one, gaytravel.com. They have taken the time to put something together for gay singles!  ...And while summer may be a soon-to-be memory, I can take off as soon as next week if I please, to squeeze myself in there!

Also, if I happen to end up in one of those places that has a naughty room in the bar, lucky me can take part with no worries of cheating because I'm single & free; them's the perks!

Fu Cupid - My Tease Zone

So, there I am making my semi-weekly visit to F.U. Cupid
to see what's up and I see a message.  What?  Someone's interested?
I investigate.  The profile I see is not exactly the sort I pursue, mainly because the guy is a tad too young for my taste, but who am I to turn away the attention of a possible suitor.
I return his "Hello".  Then it starts...  The circuitous replies and non-answers to questions.  Then comes the "When can we get together?" from him.  I very directly say when I am available over the next five days.  His response is, "great I'll get back to you."  Which he doesn't.
Then a week after that, the usual, "Sorry I didn't get back to you, I got a little busy.  You still want to get together?"  At this point, I'm ready to say, "no," but I figure I got the time open, I'll give him one more chance.  I say, "This Sunday Evening".  He replies that he can do it and can't wait.  I am sceptical.  Over the next four days I hear nothing from him.  Sunday morning I text him to firm up a time.  I don't hear back from him until the afternoon, and then it's with more non-specific comments, keeping the event open, but not committing to a time, then finally "I can't. but I really want to."
That's when I cut it off.  I don't respond to any further messages about wanting to get together, from this little asshole.  He caught on fairly quickly, but come on!  It would be one thing if I had approached him and pressed him for a date, but he hit me up and I was generous with possible times to meet up.  Is it a sport for him and others like him, to tease someone or is he really that much of a flaky idiot?
I've experienced this so many times, I've been less patient with the offenders.  I always give the second chance, because I know things do come up, but I've become pretty good at picking up on the tell-tale signs that they are not really interested in getting together.  One of those signsd is when they call in the excuse without another date to offer, or they are evasive when you propose another time.
What's most annoying about the whole thing is their apparent enthusiasm about meeting up and excitement until the day comes and they blow you off.  I'd like to meet up with them, if only just to throttle them, but I'm more satisfied staying home and throttling my throttle.

He Don't Even Know - Summer Lovin'

Say "hello" to "Sammy"!

"Sammy" is nothing but fun!

He likes to have his days filled with activity 

and his nights with even more!

My summer nights have been 

more than Sandy & Danny 

could possibly imagine!!

This Australian hottie

is the one with the motorcycle

AND pink jacket!

He's a T-Bird & Pink Lady 

all rolled into one!

I love that together

we are Sammy & Danny

and we make our own 

GREASE!

Too Busy For Love - Shoe Business

I'd love to go to that nude brunch with you on that private Malibu beach your father left you in his will, but I'm too busy!  Not only do I have two shows today, but now I have to replace two pairs of shoes!  The show is a little demanding on footwear, what with all the running backwards, fight choreography and getting up off of knees action... I lost TWO pairs of shoes, so far this weekend!  Now any time I had for brunch or nuding must be spent on Hollywood boulevard shopping for shoes with hung over hookers and club kids! I have to hurry, too! I have a matinee!!
But thanks for the invite!

This Is Why I Am Single - Sketchy Memories

So, I was on Facebook, as I'll be and I glanced at that "People You May Know" strip that usually holds a list of hot shirtless bears, gay porn stars and Shelly Long.  Well, there I saw a guy I went on a couple of dates with eight years ago, whom I'll call Adolpho.  My first thought was, "Oh hey, that guy." then, "I forgot about him." finally, "I thought we were friends on here..."  Had I been unfriended by a guy I didn't fall in love with?  We parted on friendly terms and we exchanged fun stuff for a while after.  I remembered exactly what it was about him that made me come to the conclusion that he was not the one.  Then I clicked on his profile and it would seem that the last eight years have been very good to him.  He's a little ruggedly good looking, now.  He's filled out nicely and he seems to be further along in his career, quite successful and everything is hunk dory!  Then I started wondering if maybe I shouldn't have been so hasty in my dismissal of him and his romantic intentions.  Then, I started to worry, that I am still the exact same person I was eight years ago and now, he's grown up and it is I who is unworthy of him, as if I'd been the one whose love was unrequited.  He unfriended me.  Before I knew it, I was fantasizing, hatching little plans to get him back, or at least get re-friended!
Finally I realized how silly I was being.  Adolpho was not the one that got away, because I remembered, again, all the things about him that gave me pause, most of all, there was no chemistry.
What is it about seeing someone that I shared a little time with, who seems to be doing quite well, that makes me suddenly start doubting myself or a decision that I made, or that I'm missing out on some better life?  It's crazy.   I'd be lying if I said this was the first time this has happened, there were a few, "Maybe I was wrong" moments.  Sadly, some of the other ones have resulted in reunion dates that were almost immediately ruined with the stench of "That's right, that's why I didn't want this the first time around!"  I need to remember to trust myself and trust that I know what I don't want, or what I'm not willing to compromise in order to be in a relationship.  Luckily, I remembered before I ended up on an awkward date with Aldolpho, because, as sweet and nice as he was, he wasn't the one (or one of the ones).  However, this is the first time I've dealt with the unfriending.  I might need therapy on this one...

(Awesome sketch of me by Miguel Angel Reyes)