So, there I am making my semi-weekly visit to F.U. Cupid
to see what's up and I see a message. What? Someone's interested?
I investigate. The profile I see is not exactly the sort I pursue, mainly because the guy is a tad too young for my taste, but who am I to turn away the attention of a possible suitor.
I return his "Hello". Then it starts... The circuitous replies and non-answers to questions. Then comes the "When can we get together?" from him. I very directly say when I am available over the next five days. His response is, "great I'll get back to you." Which he doesn't.
Then a week after that, the usual, "Sorry I didn't get back to you, I got a little busy. You still want to get together?" At this point, I'm ready to say, "no," but I figure I got the time open, I'll give him one more chance. I say, "This Sunday Evening". He replies that he can do it and can't wait. I am sceptical. Over the next four days I hear nothing from him. Sunday morning I text him to firm up a time. I don't hear back from him until the afternoon, and then it's with more non-specific comments, keeping the event open, but not committing to a time, then finally "I can't. but I really want to."
That's when I cut it off. I don't respond to any further messages about wanting to get together, from this little asshole. He caught on fairly quickly, but come on! It would be one thing if I had approached him and pressed him for a date, but he hit me up and I was generous with possible times to meet up. Is it a sport for him and others like him, to tease someone or is he really that much of a flaky idiot?
I've experienced this so many times, I've been less patient with the offenders. I always give the second chance, because I know things do come up, but I've become pretty good at picking up on the tell-tale signs that they are not really interested in getting together. One of those signsd is when they call in the excuse without another date to offer, or they are evasive when you propose another time.
What's most annoying about the whole thing is their apparent enthusiasm about meeting up and excitement until the day comes and they blow you off. I'd like to meet up with them, if only just to throttle them, but I'm more satisfied staying home and throttling my throttle.
This is why I no longer use dating/hookup sites. The behavior is atrocious. However, if you are going to persist, then I suggest nixing the "second chance". I would only want to meet with someone who acts on their excitement to meet me--and lack of commitment is a sure sign that they are not willing to act. That leaves me uninterested. If a meeing is agreed upon and they don't :"commit", I would let them be. Weed the flakes out, and hold your boundaries, and you will find the ones who are willing to go the distance!
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