Be More Gay With Your Camera - Guys of Pride 2025

While Being More Gay, my camera seems to have jumped at the challenge.
These guys were part of the Micky's Float

More to follow, I'm sure

Gay of A Certain Age - A Clutter of Memories and Yes, Touch Me There Taco Friend!

Hello!  Had you forgotten about me?
See, the thing is, not only have I been too busy for love, I've been busy being busy!
One of the things I was busy with was rehearsing for CHICAS IN SPACE

It was a little bit of a rehearsal process for a one hour show, but it was such a hoot to do

and we got a new hunk to enjoy!

Something else that has been keeping me busy is decluttering my home!  I've been going through hell going through stuff and letting it go.  Before you ask, No, I have not seen the "Spark Joy" lady.  I'm afraid she'll get me to say goodbye to too many things. Anyway, one of my brilliant ideas was to take all my overstuffed photo albums, remove the photos, toss the albums and scan the photos.  My problem now, is I'm still having trouble throwing out a good number of the photos after they've been scanned!  ...Anyway, what that led to was me finding pics of myself from days gone by, when I didn't think I looked all that great.

Me, 1999

I don't mean to sound as if I think I'm Mr. Hot Stud, God's Gift To Gays & Instagram, which I do not.  I'm just trying to say that looking back... I was better looking than I allowed myself to believe.

Me,  1998

Obviously, I had some sense of self esteem that allowed me to play sexy in these pics, but that's all I thought I was doing; playing, pretending to think I was sexy, or in some other unposted shots, obviously spoofing sexy.  As I got older, I got even more self conscience.  In this pic from a Miami visit in 2003...

The entire time I was in South Beach with my friends, I thought I was so fat!  All my friends were lean & toned and I was embarrassed to be in my swimsuit next to them.  I wasn't necessarily crying about it and I obviously didn't stop myself from leaving my hotel room in my trunks and having a great time, but it was a little naggy thing in my head the entire time.

Now, I am the most out of shape I have ever been and when I pose for pictures I try to find clever ways to hide my belly or just suck it in really hard.  Don't get me wrong, this isn't about me looking back and crying about my lost body and, wah wah wah, I'm fat.  Well, maybe a little...

Getting back to decluttering my home.  So, another part of the process is the yard sale.  Yes, I was ready for this year's edition of Brett's Big Gay Yard Sale!  We didn't sell a lot but, we did have a big gay blast!

We even had a photo shoot right in the middle of it!
Here's a shot where you can see I'm a little uncomfortable taking a full body shot, worrying about my belly.

Regardless of my mild discomfort, I was still able to get out a few fabulous shots.  Here's the one that made the Facebook story.

And the group shot...

And while we didn't sell a lot, everything that didn't sell went directly to Out of the Closet.

So, our homes are a little less cluttered and we went out to celebrate!

Off we marched to Marix for tacos and Margaritas.

...And that's where it happened.  There, a man I find attractive (but unavailable) told me he has always found me attractive from afar and that he really has a thing for my belly. Then he quickly rubbed muh tumtums.  I liked it!

WHAT?

That was the the best thing to hear after fawning over my own old photos of me with a nicer body. (Yeah, I'm lusting after my younger self, SO WHAT?)

If anything, it's a nice reminder that no matter how I feel about my appearance, there'll someone out there who loves the way I look.

As a Gay of A Certain Age I learned that when I'm having a low self esteem day, all I have to do is flash forward to 20 years from now, find myself attractive, then masturbate.
Honestly, just masturbating always makes me happy.
...I gotta go, suddenly...

Gay of A Certain Age - A Reconsideration of Romance and Love; or Who Was On First?

What is wrong with me?
See this guy?

 His name is Jim.  We held hands and made out & stuff for over 13 months.  We are still friendly now, just not stick our tongues in each others mouths friendly, anymore.  I always call Jim my first and only significant romantic relationship.  Then, I embarked on a project to make my home less cluttered (BIG MISTAKE) and I decided to clear out my photo albums- I took all the photos out and dumped the albums and am now in the very long process of scanning in the photos I wanna keep (which is all of them) and (trying to) tossing the paper photos in the recycle bin.  That when I came across this guy...

His name is Ed.  I forgot how we actually met, but I remember I really liked him and we held hands and made out & stuff  for a few months.

 I know it was a few months because of the photos.  I don't even remember why we stopped seeing each other, but I do know it wasn't a huge dramatic break up...  But why didn't I consider this a significant romantic relationship  before this very moment, 20 years after not dating much, not having more than one other boyfriend and starting a blog called DieAloneWithME.Com??  Maybe Ed and I didn't see each other every day, or as often as Jim and I did over that year.  Maybe I was just an ungrateful piggy and didn't realize what I had.  Maybe it wasn't all that great...  Hmmm.
Anyway, no matter how I felt after not seeing Ed anymore, I've decided that Ed is my first significant romantic relationship.  ...Especially because he was my first OFFICIAL Valentine! 

It's true!  He was the first guy to give me a Valentine's Day card and kiss me with full-on romantic notions behind it all.    I know that because he wrote it all in this; my first official
Valentine's Day Card.

No, I shan't let you read the inside, it's personal. (Has that stopped me before?)

And if being my first Valentine wasn't enough, he took me to my first (AND ONLY) Celine Dion Concert!! 

I know that sounds sarcastic, and I was dubious when he surprised me with the tickets, but I REALLY enjoyed that concert very much!  

Obviously, my friends liked him, 'cause here we are enjoying a game night of sorts...

(Geoff Meed having a physical Outburst)

Hmmm... I don't think I wanna ponder too much on why we parted, I'll just enjoy this nice memory brought to me by the horrifically bad idea of de-cluttering my home.

And yes, these did spark joy...

P.S. Astute readers may notice that my top pic and my other pic with Jim are both birthday celebrations for me.  Skeptical readers might ask, "If you were together for only 13 months, how did you spend two birthdays together?"  Most readers wouldn't give a shit... but I'll explain anyway.  I had two celebrations one year.  Jim had a nice dinner for me at Off Vine, where he invited some of my closest friends and a few of his lovely friends I still love and enjoy.  The second was a surprise celebration my, then, roommate Kris threw for me at El Coyote with my, then, boyfriend, Jim and a bunch of his own friends (whom were all nice and fun...)  So I'm not lying about this stuff, no matter what the surface appearance my indicate.   

...or wait... Did Jim and I start in September, with my birthday right away, then.. aw Crap!

F.U. Cupid - Can't Judge By Looks

I realize that I can be an ass about things, but come on!!   If you're going to have an on-line dating profile, you gotta have a photo.  If I get a message from someone without a photo, I immediately wonder what they are hiding.  If they are worried that I won't find them attractive, they SHOULD be!  I'm fairly sure that I wouldn't want to date anyone who didn't find me attractive.  So, hit me with your best (head) shot!  I might surprise you and find you attractive. So, let's get that out of the way up front.  Also, I'm not going to respond to someone I'm 95% fearing is actually Nathan Lane looking to get some--ICK!

Worse,yet, it really bothers me when someone doesn't realize I'm being as ass about things.  Click on the pic, make it larger so you can read the exchange.  I can't be with someone who doesn't KNOW.  I obviously went the rude route and instead of simply ignoring, responded with smart-asshole abandon.  Who would read my response and not think, "Wait?  I don't have a picture up, why do you say I'm good looking? Are you making fun of me, Rizz?" and then return the compliment?  I'll tell you who, the guy I'm not going to spend a dinner with, explaining my jokes, then trying to edit myself down to stuff I think he'll understand.  I know I'm tragically single.  I know I haven't been on a date in a long time.  Those facts are not going influence me to go on a date with some random, faceless guy, who wouldn't know sarcasm if it crawled up his ass and bloomed!  I'm not THAT alone.

Yes, he's probably a nice guy and I should consider that.  I did consider it and I also don't want to go out with someone who'd let me walk all over him.  I would have responded better to him if he had replied, "Ha ha, funny, asshole.  Here's my pic, so you'll know you were right without seeing it first.  Let's have a drink".  I really would have appreciated that.  And if he's a nice guy, who doesn't know any better, I've probably frustrated him and driven him to create his own blog about the troubles of dating.  Good for him, something to distract him from his inability to recognize sarcasm.

I'm fairly certain that I didn't hit "send" with my second response. I felt like an asshole enough with the first one and if he just didn't get it, who am I to make him feel bad for not getting it?  I left it so that with no response, there's a chance that I got hit by a truck and killed, before we could have a romance, marry and adopt faceless children.  I think he liked that better.

F.U. Cupid - Photo Snob

I've been so horribly busy during this heavy drag season that I haven't had a chance to sit down & blog for a bit!  I have, however, had time to suffer with messages from wannabe suitors on OK Cupid.  A few of muh DABs have had some nice dates with guys from OK Cupid, but I scarcely have.  I'm very dubious of on-line dating because I feel there are men out there who take advantage of on-line limitations.  Currently, I'm talking about the profile pictures.  Some guys use this to deceive or hide who they are.  Some guys do it to impress and some do it because they fear they are not attractive.  Whatever the reason is, it pisses me off that they want to invest time in exchanging emails forever, finally agree to meet and then get upset because they are busted.  I don't go for the, "I wanted you to get to know me before you judged me on my looks," excuse, because whatever they look like, I'll be judging them their lying and find it very hard to trust them again.  I'll have a 2nd or 3rd date with someone I don't think is terribly attractive, but is a great person, before I'll have even one with someone I don't think is terribly attractive and is a liar.  That is why I've become very adept at sorting these guys out, so I don't waste my time.  I'm going to share a few tips with you so that you don't waste your time, either, because if there's trouble in the pic, there's trouble at home!

Call me a photo snob, but I judge the profile from my first glance at the pic.  I think it's rather simple to have a good profile pic; it's well lit, clear and a plain representation of the subject.
Above is my current OK Cupid profile picture.

I confess it is a few years old, but it is a clear representation of me and if I showed up on a date with a little rounder face, I don't think anyone would be alarmed or feel cheated.

Here are a few things that really bother me about on-line dating pics:

(I've blocked eyes to prevent any embarassment on the subjests' part) 

THE HIDER

This is someone who doesn't need me to hide their identity because they do a super job of it on their own.  How am I supposed to know what he looks like if every one of his pics has him in sunglasses, a hat and a beard?  First off, I feel like he's hiding something; his age? his being on the FBI's most wanted list? his being possessed by a demon?  Either way, I know it's gonna take a long time to tear down that wall and if we ever dated and formed a relationship, this is the kind of guy where every week brings a new surprise; "You were married to a girl?", "You owe the IRS $120,000?", "You've never seen 9 TO 5??!!??"

THE DORIAN GREY REVERSER

This is the guy who ages, but his portrait never does!  He thinks you won't mind that he's 20 years older than you thought he going to be when he shows up for your Racketlon date.  You can usually tell a photo is way old when they are grainy, colors are faded, the outlines are fuzzy and Freddie Prinze is walking by in the background.  Look, sir, there are plenty of guys your age, who like to date people their own age, there are plenty of younger guys who love dating older men, but please don't try to make people think you're still 30 years old and get crushed when they leave you standing on the doorstep.  If these guys can't accept their age, what else are they in denial about?

THE QUICKER TOUCHER UPPER

This Glamour Shotz escapee puts out his own WANTED posters!  This guy is fast!  So fast that every photo of him is slightly blurry.  A a matter of fact, his skin seems really really really really smooth, his hair is darker than any other part of his body and his brows look very Siegel & Stockman mannequin-esque.  The scary thing is, they don't think you notice that their photo has been terribly re-touched to the point that it almost looks like a cartoon.  I suspect this guy tends to cover up a lot, but I prefer a guy who's willing to put it out there.

THE CUTE BY ASSOCIATION GUY

To me, this is one of the biggest cheats ever!  The guy with a prominently featured cute animal attached to him.  It's usually a dog, or most unforgivable, a puppy, that is used to get your "Awwww" factory going so that when you see him, you think you're "awwww"ing  because of him!  It's very subliminal and very crafty.  Sure, one of his supplemental pics could be one that shows he loves animals, but the profile pic should show he loves himself.  I'm immediately suspicious that if he uses his dog like this, how is he gonna use me?

THE GUESS WHO!

These profile pics annoy me the most!  I'm especially annoyed when they are followed by more multi-person photographs.  I'm sorry, but your 10 word self-description does not help me determine which one of these four guys is you. Sure, I could pore over your other pics with multiple guys in it and suss out the face that is common to them all, but who's got time?  Especially when I'm gonna end up thinking I'm gonna date your hot friend.  I think that's the bait in this one; it's "look at all my hot friends you'll get the hang around with if you date me."  Which is actually, "I'M NOT ENOUGH."  Again, it's good to know that someone has friends, but that should be one supplemental pic, not the whole lot and certainly not the profile pic.

THE DECAPITATED

Oy, this one!  

1.  If you're ashamed to be on this site..get off of it! 
2.  "My body is my only worth."
3.  "I don't really communicate well, but I know sex."
4.   "This isn't my body and you won't realize that when we meet, because you can't see my face."
5.   "My brain is exposed.  I have no skull cap"

I really don't know why someone finds shame in looking for someone on one of these sites.  Why else would they hide their face so obviously and violently?  If you have shame in finding love, then I hope you don't try to find it with me, because I have no time for shame or hiding like that.  I'll hide behind my sarcasm and passive aggressive behavior, thank you!  And you'll know exactly what I look like when I do!!

I'm not a trained psychologist, but I've watched all 11 seasons of CRIMINAL MINDS, so I think I've gotten pretty good at this.  So if you've recognized your profile pic in the ones above, I'm not saying you're a bad guy, or manipulative, but you might want to give more thought about why you've chosen the photo you picked to tell people who you are, and what you're telling them.

With mine, I think I'm telling people I'm a regular guy's guy, who's middle aged, probably ten pounds heavier than this shot, and thinks he knows it all.  What I hope they see in me is, hopefully, a person they'd want to know more about.

This Is Why I Am Single - Is it too much?

Just these.
That's why...

Thank you, Dusti!

Awsome pics by Dusti Cunningham