Friday, December 18, 2015

Gift Ideas For the Dying Alone - Pet Sounds

One week away from Christmas and you still don't have a gift for your friend what is dying alone?
Here I come to save the holiday!!

As one of the Dying Alone, I don't mind eating solo, mostly because I worry I look like a weird lizard creature on the Serengeti, feasting after a year long drought, and it may be a turn off for anyone watching.  If you worry that your dying alone friend doesn't like to eat alone, may I suggest getting him some pet ants?

The best thing about ants is that they are low maintenance!  These little guys pretty much take care of themselves and keep each other company.  The downside is trying to corral them could be a challenge and very time consuming, but what else is your dying alone friend gonna do on a Friday night anyway?  When it comes to dinner time, these little fellas will put away quite a bit and they always clean their plate!  Bonus, they never interrupt you when you're talking to them, so your friend can spend the entire meal telling them how they thought their life would have turned out, without fear of eye rolling or sighs of frustration!  I must warn you to not get your friend ARMY ants.  They'll eat anything...  I mean ANYthing, including your friend.  Also, I would love to encourage you to, please, get your ants at an ant rescue, rather than a pet store.  Rescue ants are usually very grateful to have a home and are more loving.

Is your dying alone friend as busy as I am?  Does he barely have enough time to go on a date, much less read a book to have something to discuss on that date?  Here's a great gift idea, books on tape!  God bless the person who came up with this idea; someone reading a book to you because you can't pick one up and move your eyes!  Books on tape can be listened to while driving, bathing, staring at cracks in the ceiling through tears...  just about anywhere, any time!  Might I suggest a great biography?

Between the Dying and the Dead: Dr. Jack Kevorkian's Life and the Battle to Legalize Euthanasia is a delightful read on some doctor guy who was an intersting artist, whose style falls somewhere between Salvador Dali and John Wayne Gacy! I'm sure there's more to his story, but I'm only 12 minutes in because I'm too busy to even listen, but I'm hooked!! I'm sure your dying alone friend will love it, too!

There you go, another two great gift ideas for your friends who are dying alone.  I hope it helps!
Remember, you don't have to thank me, just get me a date!!

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