Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Single Perks - Date With a Colt- UPDATED

I haven't received many concerned letters, so I'll tell you...
The last day of use is coming for my Colt Hairy Men 2015 Calendar!
I checked and they were out of stock with a promise to send one as soon as they were back in stock. That is UNACCEPTABLE!!  I must confess I got in quite a panic.  What am I supposed to do, take down this calendar on Thursday night and then start 2016 with no imaginary boyfriend???  Do they have razor blades & cyanide pills in stock?  They might as well just send those, instead! .  Why did I wait so long to order my new imaginary boyfriends?  Who else is buying these calendars?  You (all?) will be glad to learn that I did a little extra clicking and found another Colt Calendar that will be delivered today or tomorrow, via the magic of Amazon Prime.  Yes, thanks to my flexible tastes, 2016 will be a year's worth of imaginary dates with men in Leather.

Yeah, since I don't like to preview and be surprised every month, I'll have to assume the entire calendar is in black & white.  I prefer color, but don't be a pussy!  Take those grey tones!  Yeah, you like that chiaroscuro effect, don't you?  Yeah.  Hot!

Because I'm single, I can keep a calendar of leather clad/naked men in my closet without having somebody get jealous of paper rivals.  I don't have some insecure whiny puss saying, "Why do you have to look at them? Aren't I enough?"  I'd have to respond, "Frankly, unless your body & face morph every first day of the month, then, no.  No, you are not enough. However, your lack of shape-shifting ability is not the turn off, it's your inability to separate fantasy from reality.  Just because I oggle a photograph of a guy ( a photograph that is probably of someone that existed ten years ago and majorly touched up) doesn't mean I want to drop everything and be with him.  Who is standing next to me? Who am I living with?  If that's not what I wanted, it wouldn't be this calendar that drove me away from you."  Because I am single, I don't have to deal with that and I can enjoy my calendar, porn, movies, television, magazines, photos, walks outside and my unconscious dreams without having to deal with any of that.  Them's the perks!

Got it!

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