Too Busy For Love! - New York

I would love to go out with you, thank you for asking, but I'm too busy!
You see, tonight I have my commission meeting, then tomorrow morning
I'm hopping a Virgin and heading to New York to see some shows.
I'll probably have some delicious food in some usual spots, like Vynl,
and have cocktails at some hip bars, where I'll keep to myself, not talk to anyone and leave in frustration.

I'll probably walk Central Park, since my last few visits have been dominated by
the sites of the High Line!
I can go to Chelsea and see how many other favorite gay haunts have withered away and been replaced by a nail salon, bank or drugstore!  ...Heck, even the Starbuckses are starting to tremble with fear of disappearing from 8th Avenue.

You don't have to worry, I'll post pics from the New York trip that is keeping me
too busy for love!
...There's a lot of men there who don't even know they're my boyfriend!

He Don't Even Know! - Tender Tender

This is my "boyfriend", Marcus.

He can mix a mean vanilla lemon drop,

but on nights after I've performed 

brain surgery on our most

important Presidents and saving their lives,

Marcus is waiting for me

in the Spider-Man undies I got him for Christmas,

with a perfectly blended

Campari & soda

and a kiss.

Then, he gives me his special

Harvey Wallbanger.

Single Perks - The Message of the Shoes

One of the perks of being single is that when I trip over shoes that are laying
on the living room floor, I think, "I should put those away."
Then, I'll move them or not and move on with the rest of the day.
Surely, if I had a husband and tripped over his shoes, it would become an event
filled with frustration and suspicion.  I wouldn't just think, "Oh, he or I should put those away."
and move on.  Instead, I would immediately begin to wonder how he could do that.
He knows I hate tripping over his stuff on the floor!  Why do I always have to pick up after him?
What is he trying to tell me by doing this?  Does he just not respect me anymore?
Why didn't I know I was marrying a slob?  He wasn't like this when we first moved in together.
He hid this from me.  And if he hid that from me, what else is he hiding?  Who did I marry?
Is our whole marriage a sham if he lied to me about who he is?  Why do I let myself be fooled by people who just want something from me?  Oh my god, is he going to quit his job so he doesn't have to work and we live on my paycheck while he lounges around all day?
Is that why he married me?  I'm such a fool!

No, when you live alone, you know your shoes are sending you no message.
I like that.  Them's the perks!

Gay of a Certain Age- There's a site for that?

When I made it a goal to actually leave my home,
part of that was in hopes in meeting folks.
I was at a pool party when I met Tony Davis.
It was a brief moment, but we enjoyed the spirit of the spirited event.
I have a super cute pic of us at the pool party, but that may not be appropriate for this post, so I stole this pic off of his Facebook page.

I've seen him around here and there, and I appreciate a good, hearty "Hello",
which Tony is good with.
We don't know each other that well, but we learn from reading each other's writings.
I want you to know him more, too.
I'm reluctantly posting this essay from him for you to enjoy.
I say reluctantly, because I worry you'll get so much from it, that you won't return to me.
So, visit this site about Gay Life After 40 and read his essay,
but come back - don't learn too much!

You can read it by clicking HERE

Gay of a Certain Age - BASH!

I know, that as a gay of a certain age, I should probably be excited about another
FAR FROM THE MADDING CROWD movie, seeing that it is a classic story of
A single woman and the three (3!) men in her life, but my excitement is all building
for MARVEL'S AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON! I'm like a school kid,
waiting for the final bell to ring on the last day of school!

I never was into comics as a kid,
I couldn't even bring myself to buy The Walking Dead graphic novels
when they first came out because the action blocks with scattered dialogue boxes
Didn't appeal to me at all.  Now, here I am, a huge fan of the zombie infested TVshow
and chomping at the bit for the supe opera on May 1.

Maybe the hunky men in tight, form fitting costumes appeals to the gay in me,
But I also love the adventure and the BAM POW action.
Should a 47 year old man be so excited about these living cartoons?
Is this a sign of immaturity or is it showing a healthy & active imagination
allowing itself to be caught be stories of heroism, betrayal and friendship?
Isn't it a straight guy thing, in its machoness?
Surely, the gay sensitivity would scoff at handling these problems with such violence.
(I will admit, I actually worry about each individual in that falling skyscraper or falling bridge...)
Certainly my gay sensibility would push me toward more artful fare.
Sure, some of my gay dollars go to supporting the period costume dramas and
indie coming-of- GAYge movies, but I'll be darned in I haven't helped fund a new
wing at Marvel/Disney.

Actually, I'm quite confident in my childish excitement for these movies,
Because I don't think it's an age thing, or a gay thing, I think it's
a fun thing and a willingness to let go and enjoy the ride.
So, I hope you'll join me on this ride,  regardless of your age, sex, or orientation.

(Actually, when I was young and had imaginary playtime that included superheroes,
I was always being rescued and being held safely in the arm of the superhero of the day.
That makes it somewhat gay, no?)

He Don't Even Know - I See Your Tattoo Colors

This is my "boyfriend", Derek.

We have a lot of imaginary fun together!

While our absolute favorite activity is 

rescuing Chihuahua puppies,

a good amount of our playtime

is spent in the kitchen.

Here you can see Derek texting me:

"Hey, Fkr, i hop ur feeling Mondriany.

I got yur colors!

C U soon, Saylr Moon"

Derek likes to get totally naked

 and let me color his tattoos

with these delicious markers

then eat him.

Since I have no tattoos, 

when it's his turn

he has free reign.

My favorite tasty tattoo that he put on me

was a dead-on perfect portrait of Golda Meir on my chest.

(It was supposed to be Henry Kissinger, 

but a slip of the wrist after giggling

put longer hair into play).

My favorite flavored tattoo

to lick on him

is the chocolate starfish!

This Is Why I Am Single - The Vanishing

This is something that has happened to me more than once,
so I know it is a phenomenon for the ages.  What happens is,
I go out with a guy, we have a great time, he says what a great time he's having,
we make out at the end of the extended date, he says he can't wait for more, leaves,
then falls off the face of the earth.  He vanishes.

What is that about?  Why do guys vanish after having, what they'd lead you to believe was the
best date of their lives? What's going on in their heads?  I know when I'm not having a good time on a date, I'll be polite, but I won't let them believe for a second I'm having a great time with more to come.  I try to be kind, but honest and won't say I'll call them if I don't intend to do so.
I'm an experienced actor, but I don't think I can fake chemistry- I certainly wouldn't want to.
So what is it with these guys?  Did they honestly have a great time, then after they got home thought, "Wow! that was....nah, never mind. Ooooh, look! Shiney!" then forget the whole thing even happened?  Is there some weird thing where guys get off by having a great time with someone, leading them on, getting them hard, then just dropping them?  Usually, if I've had an average date, but don't get a call back, I don't waste time wondering what I could have done, or who I could have been to get a second date.  But these cases really confuse me, because it' wan't just an okay date, it was an AMAZING experience where you feel like magic is real and someone totally gets you and wants you.

It's a mystery I try not to spend too much time on, but it does drive me nuts sometimes!  Could I have unwittingly done this to someone?  Could I have had just an okay date, that the other guy thought was amazing?  I am a fun guy, but I don't think I'm that fun or unaware of the energy during a date.  I have had the dates where I could tell the other guy was way into it more than I was and I tried to find a nice way to cool the jets and reverse the sharks.  Even in that case, even when I do chicken out and avoid dropping the axe at the moment, I'll either call, or respond to a call, to let them know I just wasn't into it.   I don't just vanish.  That's just crazy and rude.  Do they give a phone number because they really wanted to pursue a relationship, or did they do it just to make the vanishing more surprising?  Yeah, That's right, I've been the schmuck who will call the number I've been given, more than once, leaving a fun and hopeful message only to realize a few days later, that he's gone.

I have a fairly healthy self esteem, so when this happens to me I've learned to do a brief evaluation of my actions, survey my level of cleanliness, check my desperation meter, answer honestly when I ask myself "Am I an asshole?" and then get to imagining what really happened to them.  Sometimes I imagine that I was part of a Douglas Sirk type real life drama, wherein this guy finds me, the love of his life, has one wonderful day then returns to his home in the valley, to his three children and his chronically (but not terminally) ill wife, whom he could never leave, even though he only loves her like a sister.  He thinks of me on sunny Saturdays and when he smells cotton candy in the air.  Another common scenario for me is the sexy secret agent who was looking for a cover, but found a lover he couldn't keep.  He leads such a dangerous life and loves me so much, that he stays away, only for my protection.  My absolute favorite is the thought that they electrocuted themselves to death in the tub by dropping their iPhone in the water because it slipped from their hand while they were masturbating, looking at my profile picture.  Their final thought was, "I should have called."