This is my "boyfriend", Derek.
We have a lot of imaginary fun together!
While our absolute favorite activity is
rescuing Chihuahua puppies,
a good amount of our playtime
is spent in the kitchen.
Here you can see Derek texting me:
"Hey, Fkr, i hop ur feeling Mondriany.
I got yur colors!
C U soon, Saylr Moon"
Derek likes to get totally naked
and let me color his tattoos
with these delicious markers
then eat him.
Since I have no tattoos,
when it's his turn
he has free reign.
My favorite tasty tattoo that he put on me
was a dead-on perfect portrait of Golda Meir on my chest.
(It was supposed to be Henry Kissinger,
but a slip of the wrist after giggling
put longer hair into play).
My favorite flavored tattoo
to lick on him
is the chocolate starfish!