Saturday, August 22, 2015
Gay Of A Certain Age -Abe Froman's Day Off
It was a year of tragedy with Chernobyl and the Challenger Space Shuttle exploding.
It was a year of happiness with MAGNUM P.I. as the number one show and the introduction of the Omnibot 2000! It was also the year that John Hughes gave us FERRIS BUELLER'S DAY OFF.
I mention that because you should know who Abe Froman is. Abe Froman is the name that Ferris steals off of the reservations list to get a table for him and his friends in a swanky restaurant. The host is dubious, because Ferris seems much too young to be Abe Froman, The Sausage King of Chicago.
First, my friend is such a sweetheart for not making an issue of Abe's desertion of us. This isn't the first time we've played, there have been some very nice and exciting play dates before, this was just one where we decided to play full-contact. I have no idea what happened to Abe. I enjoy my friend's company very much, he actually excites me and we get along very well when not in the sandbox. Honestly, if all we did was cuddle in the sandbox, that would be enough (SHUT UP!) That's good, because, at the very least, he knows Abe likes him very much. I know Abe likes him, too! So where did he go? I wish he could talk to me and tell me. Abe and I are together very often, at least once a day, AT LEAST. That lets me know he doesn't mind being around me. So what is it? Am I too fat? Is this a weight thing? Could Abe be affected by my weight? Am I too old? Does Abe get bored of my stories and leave sooner now? I'm only 47, is that when every guy's Abe leaves them with no notice? I'd hate to think that I have to offer Abe some blue candy to stay with me. Do I have to get little blue candies, now? Do they mold? I rarely get the opportunity to play, so I don't know how often I'd be using them and it would suck if I finally got to play with someone and have them come out of the back of the medicine cabinet all furry and green. I suppose I could do my yearly check up, now and ask my terribly handsome doctor if there is a logical, non-scary explanation for Abe's absence. I can't have it. I like Abe a lot! I think he's a righteous dude.