Monday, March 30, 2015

FU Cupid - Venue wish upon a Bar

Even though I haven't given up, I sometimes play up that I have because
I don't get as many dates as I think I should.  Yes, I do like to be the one who is asked
because I prefer to know that the other  is interested and not just out  with me because
they didn't know how to say "no."  Despite that, the few dates I have been out on in the past year, I did the asking.
Of course, when you are the one asked, you generally don't get to plan the date.
This is one reason I think Cupid is F'ed up.  EVERYONE should be gifted 
with the ability to plan a date, but it seems many people have no clue
what makes a good date activity.  Sure, I've worried about the dates I've planned, 
but I at least thought it out.

This one date I went out on started well enough; we went to the Skylight Bookstore
and enjoyed a reading by one of my date's favorite authors.  
I had no clue who the author was, nor any particular interest in his book, but I did appreciate the reading and the surroundings.  We chatted as we waited in line to get my date's book signed and it was all quite nice.  That is until he got his book signed and I took their picture together with my camera.  After that, it was as if Mother Teresa farted.  There was a pleasant air around us, but it was just awkward.  He hadn't thought about what would happen after the reading and it was still pretty early.  I threw out some suggestions that he nixed.  Then, I thought, "Well, if the night's done out here, maybe we should go to my place and make out to my new Donnie Osmond record."  So, I made a no-so-veiled suggestion that we head to my place to bump faces, which he held off and said, "No, wait, I wanna go somewhere first."

I'll confess, I got a little excited because I thought, for a second, he meant House of Pies.  
To my confusion, we ended up in the parking lot of The Faultline.  A bar.  A gay bar. A notoriously slutty gay pick-up bar.  Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy spending time at the Faultline. I enjoy it when I'm with friends, out for a good time, including shameless slutty flirting and grab-assing.  I also enjoy it, when I'm out on the prowl, looking for a one-night-stand with LTR potential.  Not on a date.
Seriously, what is it about a guy that makes him think that this is a good place for a date?  If he wanted  a cocktail, there were certainly more appropriate lounges or neighborhood watering holes. Heck, we were 100 feet away from the Dresden- that would have been a fun & kitchy extension of the evening.  But, no, here we were at an almost abandoned leather bar (It was much too early for the party crowd and too late for the wasted day drinkers.) with a guy or two dancing on a box.
My mood shifted and it just got awkward, again.  Sadly, I don't think he even realized that I was not having a good time, what with him watching the dancers gyrate, and all.

I think he really was clueless when he dropped me off at home and I didn't invite him in.  
It was a bad date. 
 I think I was more confused than upset. Why was that?
Are we gays trained to think that the bar is the place where ALL the magic happens?
Isn't the bar where we go when we don't have a date?
I think it's like driving past the cherry orchard to the 7-Eleven to get some cherry flavored Kool-Aid.
I think I wrote this guy off because, ideally, I want to be with someone with more imagination and creativity.
I didn't give him a second thought. 
And I thought about the dancer on the box when I jerked off that night.


  1. Interesting that you want to be with someone creative and imaginative, and yet you have trouble seeing a bar as nothing more than a bar! Danny, your post is funny, and it also is typical of the dating complaints I hear time and time again. People wanting dates to come up with ideas within their own comfort zone, coupled with zero to little curiosity of why they have come up with something completely different. I am sure it makes for good blog. bit doesn't really make for good dates! What did you learn about this guy that night? Why he liked that author? Why he wanted to go to Faultline (maybe he was nervous!)? If he thought it was going well? I am reminded of how many people in L.A. who say that they want to "love someone", when their actions reveal a lack of skill in that area. But hey, what do I know!

  2. Tony, I can't say you're wrong about my lack of skill, but the bigger problem I had with being in that environment on a first date is that is not conducive to talking. With the loud music and gyrating hotties for distraction, it was difficult to talk and learn why he liked that author ( not to be too symbolic, but the reading that night was from a book about a guy who just starts walking, to nowhere, but keeps walking and walking...). I have old fashioned idea of what a first date should be that was formed by the television and movies I dated in high school, instead of people. Thank you for your view on this!

    1. Well that makes sense to me--I can't stand loud places either! I think I would have still been curious why HE wanted to go there though! But thanks for not taking my comment too hard and letting me know what "story" you have about dating--I get it. It would be nice if real life matched our stories more often, wouldn't it? In my life I got disappointed so many times that I finally worked on how to accept what was in front of me, while also knowing what I had some control over. That works out pretty well with less disappointment, and some good surprises! Keep writing, I enjoy your blog.