Monday, June 22, 2015

Gay Of A Certain Age - Pamper Is Not Diaper


Ladies, Gays & Gentlemen, the above tasty looking items are not tasty sweets.
They are bath beads. I have some because as a Gay of A Certain Age, I have come to a point
in my life when relaxing has become an important, nay, necessary part of life!
In my younger, more swashbuckling days, I would rarely stop to relax. It was physically impossible.
I'd sit for five minutes, the entire time thinking of other things I could be doing instead.
As age set in, I started taking a little more time for myself. Actually, it was when I found
out acupuncture and chiropracty are covered by my insurance plan that I started looking into
ways to relax. I went to POKE where Russ put pins in my body, turned down the lights and left me to relax.  It was rough going. I tried to clear my mind, but there was total chaos in there!
I started thinking of all the things I had to do, and what could go wrong with those things.
I began worrying that there were things I was forgetting to do. Then when I banished those thoughts, my mind started playing FINAL DESTINATION and coming up with great, creative, gruesome ways I could possibly meet my death in the poke room. Sudden earthquake was an obvious one, but I was impressed with the Rube-Goldbergian demise I thought up involving the electricity from the iPod playing soothing music, the water in the soothing fountain and a fat, clumsy rat.
It took a few visits before I was almost able to calm my mind.

Baths are a newish thing for me.  I could never sit still long enough for a good, relaxing soak.
Then, one time, while spending time in a swanky hotel, I followed a friend's example and
took a long bath, complete with the salts he generously poured into my hot water.
I could feel my neglected muscles loosening and the quiet in the room was astounding.
I finally got it.  Unfortunately, now that I like long hot baths, I rarely find the opportunity
for one!  My apartment does not have a tub made for real bathing,  I'd be scrunched up like the last
shrimp in a tin.  So now, when taking on new dog sitting clients, the size of their tub is a factor!
I confess, there are two, or so, of my clients that I wish out of town when I'm feeling particularly
fatigued.  They have very nice tubs.  Even then, I rarely have a chance to set aside time for
a nice, long bath with my active schedule with added dog loving duties.  I have a couple of people
trying to lure me into dog sitting for them, and they are a bit out of the way, but even though
their dogs are adorable, their tubs just won't cut it.  I just remembered that one of my regulars has
a fabulous tub that easily fits two people!  ...and in the last ten years or so that I've been sitting there, I've only had one tub mate (...and that was about ten years ago).  If I don't get this thing worked out, I may start another blog; Bathe Alone With Me.com.

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